How Adult Autism Goes Undetected

FYI - Many people who are Autistic hate the Autism Speaks organization, as they are not helpful and have even been harmful. Also, many people who are Autistic, such as myself, are perfectly fine with labels and even prefer being called Autistic or Aspie rather than a 'Person with Autism'.

While legal protection from being fired for being different is a great thing in theory, in practice the employer will just come up with some other excuse to get rid of you.

I grew up undiagnosed and I had an awful time as a teenager, I was extremely depressed and anxious and pretty much gave up on life. None of my family acknowledged my disability even when professionals told them I needed to be tested. School didn't care either. I was diagnosed at age 20, and it took me 4 years to be diagnosed. I think there needs to be more funding for autistic adults, I missed so much support and there's just not much help for adults like me.

I am over 70 and am in the process of being diagnosed. It is never too late to learn about who you are. Thank you for this video; I will share it

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

I grew up undiagnosed. The school wanted my brother tested for ADHD and when my mom took him to the doctor, for every assessment question they asked, my mom answered "No, but his sister does" until finally the doctor said, it sounds more like you need to bring your daughter in for assessment. She never did. It was the early 80's and neurodivergency was still very stigmatized. She didn't want a "special child" so she just ignored this advice. I'm now over 40 and realize I have BOTH ADHD and Autism (only compounding my struggles). But, because I was a girl and was the inattentive version of ADHD and masked so effectively, I just fell off the radar. I was just the girl "not applying myself" or "not using time wisely". So, of course with no help or understanding in school I began struggling. Until High School when I just couldn't take it anymore and dropped out. I left home at 15 and started doing street drugs (which I now realize was my attempt to self medicate). I have been clean for over 20 years now, but none of my symptoms ever went away. I just learned to mask even harder (which has given me depression and left me exhausted and fatigued constantly). So, here I am now 40 years old. I never got an education (because the system isn't set up for my style of learning) and I have only ever been able to get minimum wage jobs, that I STILL can't cope with. I'm uninsured because minimum wage jobs don't give insurance and even if and when they did, I still couldn't afford the co-pay for the doctors on my wages. I can barely make it paycheck to paycheck to just survive. No way I can afford to get ANY diagnoses. I am completely burnt out after masking for 40 years and at this point I would rather put a bullet through my head than have to "conform" another day, just to go to a low paying job. But without a diagnoses, I can't get on disability, and without money, I can't get that diagnoses. I have fallen through EVERY crack in society and no one cares.

I’m one of the little girls that learned quickly how to acquiesce to societal expectations and just recently (at 43) realized I’m autistic. It’s so FREEING, and I’m giving my child-self all the love and acceptance she deserved.

I'm not high functioning. I'm high masking.

My family were all the time angry at me because they wanted to act normal but they never asked me if I was ok.

Even in California, my spouse went to an authority referred to by our insurance and they were accessed as NOT having autism because they had a history of successful employment and romantic relationships.... they luckily were not so invalidated that they didn't* follow up with a second assessment. Going through a second assessment finally gave them a confirmed diagnosis.

I'm a female, self-diagnosed at 75. I'm learning more about myself through Youtube videos. I might get my doc to refer me for counseling. Too late to bother with formal diagnosis, not to mention costs. I could have used the help when I was working, though. I accomplished a lot, but didn't enjoy it or feel supported or liked. Never knew if people even liked me most of the time. Was just grateful they were nice or ignored me.

Thank you so much for this episode. It is so important to understand that Autism doesn't disappear in adults and that some differences don't need to be "fixed", just accepted and treated with respect.

I am 49 and was just diagnosed in January. It was a huge relief because I could finally stop feeling like a failed neurotypical who is bad at life. I’m currently recovering from years of burnout and multiple chronic illnesses and it helps so much to understand how masking, people pleasing, and self loathing has lead me here. I can finally accept who I am and it’s been life changing.

I was in speech class in elementary school and learning support until I graduated without anyone mentioning anything to me about Autism. Teachers would even joke about how I couldn’t make eye contact. On the playground as a very young kid I would go up and down the same slide alone and lined up 20 minutes before they blew the whistle to go back inside. The idea “I went through school and wasn’t diagnosed so I must not be” is wrong. The resources for early diagnosis still aren’t there and definitely weren’t there if you are an adult now

I took the screener last year and scored pretty high on it. I realized that I've exhibited a lot of traits related to ASD and tried to get diagnosed. The specialist at the hospital refused to see me. The therapists kept asking me "what does it mean to you to be diagnosed?" Without the diagnosis, people don't believe me or say that it's all in my head. I've had career and relationship derailments over it, and me and both my parents agree I may be ASD. It's so frustrating.

Figuring out that I am autistic made my life 100% better.

I got diagnosed at 42 (also ADHD the year before that) due to a massive autistic burnout, slight regression and consequent looking for answers. I atest that the self discovery and acceptance after diagnoses is absolute gamechanger. And ADHD meds lol.

Here’s a tip: many autistic people have experienced quite a bit of trauma (particularly if not diagnosed as children, we can be experienced as difficult, be scapegoated, abused, bullied, etc.) and therapists might want to make sure that we have easy access to the door of their office. Meaning, I ought not have to walk past the therapist (in any way feel blocked) if the therapist triggers me in the session. I had a trauma therapist trigger me two times in one month (and he failed to notice this both times), and his chair was right next to the door with me sat opposite him. I was literally in panic mode because of the chair positions. Find a different room or reconfigured it to help the therapist also feel safe.

When i was a child I was simply not noticed. I wasn't non-verbal, but I had learned that when I did speak, I often found myself in trouble. I never understood social cues so I masked and I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible. Now I am retired and 66. I don't need a diagnosis at this point but I am happy to have learned a lot about myself and comfortable with the understanding that I am autistic. I am lucky that I worked much of my career in an organization that valued individuality and sought to put people in positions where they could leverage their strengths. Still, I took on responsibilities that were extremely stressful for me not knowing why I was so unhappy and unhealthy so much of the time. I survived because I had support for things I wasn't even really aware of in myself, and because one person did notice that I struggled with things like conference calls that other people had no trouble with and he offered me his office whenever he wasn't there. I am lucky to have made it all the way through the experience of not knowing why I was so misaligned with the world around me and now I feel like it's ok to be myself and drop the mask. The irony of all this is that I now live in Japan, where wearing actual, physical masks is so accepted that it is a constant presence in everybody around me. Also, masking in the way that neurodivergent people do it is a part of Japanese social norms so everybody is doing it to a greater extent than you see in other countries. It's a problem for Japanese people that they are pressured relentlessly to hide their personalities in public and work environments, but I think it also makes people more sensitized to the struggles other people experience. I feel more accepted here and I love my life in ways that I never allowed myself to do outside of Japan.

Frankly I decided not to wait. I took the Baron-Cohen test online. I scored in the range. Since then I have watched videos by autistic people and had tremendous insights. It made a huge difference to confirm it for myself. I am 71 - I really don’t have the time to wait around.