MEETING THE ENEMY A feminist comes to terms with the Men's Rights movement | Cassie Jaye | TEDxMarin

Some men are good, some women are good. Some men are bad, some women are bad.

She gets it, equality should not be about punishing the other side, it should be about lifting each other up.

"Humanizing your enemy leads to your community dehumanizing you" Brilliant!!!

“I wasn’t actually listening” the root of so many of our problems today. Opposing sides don’t hear each other, if they did they may cease to oppose and work together. We’ve all had lessons in humility, thanks for having the courage to share.

"I was told they were my enemy" Literally every war ever

"We have to stop expecting to be offended" - really hit the nail in the head with that line.

"Empowered Voices: A Journey Through Feminism" Great one. Pageturn Junction where to find. Loved it!!!

For me, this woman has instantly revived some of the little faith I had in society.

"When one group is silenced, it's a problem for all of us.". Something I wish more people understood.

“It’s not a contest, but I kept making it into one” Perfectly sums up the issues at hand

I was falsely accused by a woman for turning her down, and this made me cry.

The part about “wrongly accused” so rung a bell for me. Not often, but several times during my career. I saw how men and women claiming domestic violence victimhood were significantly treated differently. I will share the one that sticks in my crawl, the most, even after all these decades. As a Police Officer ( now retired) in a metro of nearly 200K pop at the time, I took & investigated a complaint of Domestic Violence-Related Kidnapping. The complainant gave a verbal and written account of how her ex-husband used the presence of wanting to work some things out, held her hostage and in fear of her life for hours until they happened to stop for a traffic signal near her mom’s house. There she claimed to have jumped out of the car and fled to Mom’s house. She gave vague times and locations (citing mental trauma) but an intimately detailed description of their clothes and car. Because of how our State & local laws & policies were written I was either to locate the subject & interview him (as in functionally locate & communicate with him within about half an hour), or put out an Apprehension Request on him (essentially jail him until either I or a Judge spoke to him). Even if I communicated with him, if there was even a reasonable possibility that the complainant was correct, he would still be jailed. I actually found him at home about 10 minutes after I finished speaking with the complainant. He was cooperative and came with me to the department for questioning. His account paralleled that of the complainant with significant differences. He gave very specific location and time information of their whereabouts for the evening and question. He stated that she had wanted to celebrate his birthday by going out that evening. He further said the night ended nicely with her, giving him a kiss goodbye in the car, getting out, and then actually running down the block as he left… To give him one more good night kiss through his driver window. I knew the locations given, and all were known to have excellent video security elements. Within 48 hours, I had obtained five, good quality to excellent quality video accounts of what occurred that evening evening – including (miraculously) an owner voluntarily submitted ring, doorbell, video of the , Chase and second good night kiss. In contacting the complainant back for a secondary interview, she double downed on her account, claiming that he had actually choked her in the car just before she jumped out and escaped. When I completed the investigation, I referred the complainant to the district attorneys office For two counts of filing a false police report, and one count of obstructing an officer (because the video evidence completely exonerated the subject, and completely contradicted the complaints story). The end result was the district attorney declined to press charges. In a quote off the record” conversation some months later, a secretary told me that the talk in the office was that it would not look good at election time to have charged a female, domestic violence complainant such charges. Further, I received a verbal and written “tongue, lashing“ from one of our detective captains regarding my investigation. I was specifically told that, instead of wasting my time, trying to prove the complaints guilt, I should have concentrated my efforts on, proving the subject was guilty. my options going forward were to either drop the batter, or risk being suspended for insubordination (putting both my and my family’s livelihood at risk). Yes – there is a significant discrepancy when it comes to how persons on this topic are treated in the legal and judiciary system: and it is not even handed.

The fact she actually said "i wasnt actually listening to them. I was loooking for flaws" made me respect her. Not only she renewed her world view. But she also became honest of what she felt at that moment and was not ashamed of admitting her mistake.

When you dehumanize your enemy you feel more justified in attacking them.

You don't have to blow out someone elses candle to make yours shine brighter... in fact it only makes it darker... this is the point you are making... thank you... my son was the one abused in his marriage and was actually dead before his time because of the woman... she was always given deference... and my son was ignored...

As a male, falsely accused, I can't thank you enough. Abuse definitely goes both ways. 💯 (Autocorrect changed "falsely" to "fairly", and "abuse" to "about".) 😔

“We have to stop expecting to be offended” are the wisest words I’ve heard in a long time.

this woman should have been Captain Marvel

As a woman I scrolled past this only later to it again. It is a TED Talk so I begrudgingly listened… Glad I did! Kudos to you ma’am

"We have to stop expecting to be offended, and we have to start truly, openly, and sincerely listening." This right there, would solve most hate crimes, Racism, sexism, classism, and most issues us as humans have with each other!