AVPD AT 70

Thank you so much for this video, David. I've also thought a lot about how being under-socialized during those few critical years of language development contributes to (and perhaps underlies) our dysfunction as adults with AvPD. It's tough to think about how such a short window of time could almost irreversibly dictate the trajectory and behavioral/cognitive patterns of a person's life. I wish more parents and adults were aware of this and were more proactive in making sure all children could grow to have a chance at living normal lives free of debilitating disorders. I wish there were more awareness about this disorder, and your video does an incredible job at getting us closer to that future. Your experience as someone from an older generation makes your contribution all the more valuable. Also, I'm sorry to hear about your situation with your daughters. I hope things between you guys managed to improve since this video was uploaded.

Hello David. I've just watched this for the first time yesterday morning. It's been on my mind ever since. I feel that I need to message you and tell you about myself and how this video has imppacted me. Four or five years ago I realised that I was suffering from CPTSD. That knowledge provided many answers. Then, amost two years ago I realised that I had suffered serious childhood emotional abuse from a covert narcissistic mother. Only recently have I discovered AvPD, and it's making sense of my whole life. I've lived my whole life with fear and anxiety, never able to form close relationships, and virtally no friends. Next year I will be 70, so you can understand what kind of impact your video had on me. I would very much welcome the opportunity to contact you directly and maybe share experiences. This is all a little overwhelming for me (it's taken a long time to write this). You are the first person that I can totally identify with. I have to admit that your video reduced me to tears.

Your discussion about body language brings up so much from my own life. I was diagnosed avpd about a decade ago and took a college abnormal psych class where we "learned" how to spot a liar and watch a video to test our skills. I got all answers incorrect, a statistical anomaly in average circumstances. The thing is I also have autism. I am undeniably bad at reading body language overall, but people are also terrible at reading my specific body language. Like you realizing you were holding the posture of someone lying, I have often been told I was giving off body language cues I had no awareness of. Being under socialized like you mention or struggling with body language for another reason like autism make you stick out like a sour thumb to everyone around you, it's no surprise it leads to such hyper vigilance. I believe avpd is one way your personality can develop over time to rationalize how you're treated combined with the symptoms of cPTSD, or complex PTSD (from a series of traumatic experiences or an overlapping environment/situation that continually traumatized you). I went on a really long ramble but I enjoyed seeing someone with the same disorder be so vulnerable. I struggle so much with vulnerability myself that it almost takes seeing it outside myself to connect with it as well. Thank you for this video.

My hats off to you David. I find it hard to say that without sounding condescending but I mean it. I've had avoidant personality for 40+ years. It is a very difficult condition. I personally think it should be renamed something different. Avoidant personality sounds like something that you can overcome and something that you can deal with. Trust me without help you can't. Avoidant personality will completely take over your life. It sounds like it's completely taken over yours David. I'm very very sorry to hear of this. I have never known anyone that is still struggle with avoidant personality into their 70s. Previous experience has been that typically by the 50s or so the life has come to some sort of conclusion. Hopefully a good conclusion but sadly in many cases it's not been. I think it's great that you put together this video. This tells me that you're desperately trying to get help and desperately trying to help others. This is a wonderful thing and a great first step.

Thank you for sharing your experience mr. Myers. I am sorry that you had to live with avpd and I hope that things get better for you. I found this video to be the most relatable one on youtube and it gave me more insight about this personality disorder , so thanks again for your courage and your willingness to talk about this problem

Thanks for having the courage to be vulnerable and share your struggles. You are right when you see someone visually going through what your going through you relate more and have that understanding. Noticing the patterns can sometimes be hard to notice on your own, having a therapist I guess to bring in whats going on could help with these blind spots. Thanks again for sharing it was really helpful.