5 Work Triggers That Come From Childhood Trauma - CPTSD

"Don't spend emotional energy on people who are not your friend, loved one, partner, intimate family." Wow so simple, going to repeat this to myself and practice this. You're the best Patrick thank you!

One of the most insidious things about CPTSD & having grown up in an abusive family is that a toxic workplace - where abuse is the norm - feels "normal". And in being compliant when you should stick up for yourself or exit the job, you become an accomplice in your own degradation & humiliation. It's taken me years & a number of bad workplaces to learn that toxic abuse is never acceptable.

I've been in therapy since I was a teenager due to my narcissistic, alcoholic, abusive and neglectful parents. Consequently, I have quit so many corporate jobs due to being so triggered by lousy bosses and dysfunctional environments. This is the first time I've heard anyone talk about the correlation between the CPTSD and the work environment. Thank you so very much for this eye-opening video!

I had a ton of childhood trauma and a difficult time with employment due to mental health issues and Autism. I am blessed to have finally found a job that I'm really good at and fits all my needs. I work as a janitor for businesses after they close for the day and I work alone. My employer and other managers are fantastic people who care about the employees. I am so lucky and blessed to have found this job.

Wow. This is like my biography.

I quit a job in tears because my supervisor reminded me of my mom.

“It’s okay if you don’t work well in a hierarchical type job” 👈🏼 That HIT HARD. This literally gives me the positive validation and acknowledgement that it’s okay if I work better working by myself (ie having my own business). If the corporate structure doesn’t work for me, then I don’t have to force myself to conform to it.

A supervisor walking up to me and asking if I’m working as hard as I can, which reminded me of my mother and aunt demanding that I work harder around the house as a kid, when I felt I was working as hard as I could already. Micro managers are also on my trigger list

OMG! All these years I've had these issues with every single job! Deep down I always feel like the weirdo who is too sensitive and/or too intense, and think to myself "why do I take things so personally" (which in fact I've been told a couple times and THAT in itself is a huge trigger!). It all makes perfect sense now! No wonder jobs r so draining & mentally exhausting.

Is it weird, I actually like "corporate speak" in the sense that I feel safer when people at work speak professionally. If there's too much personal info, emotions, bias, etc, it feels like boundaries are blurring and I don't like it. I've also had way too many jobs and managers that were abusive or inappropriate so another reason why I prefer people speak professionally at work! Makes me feel safer.

I definitely recognized several of the points you hit on, but I think I have one you missed. I get extreme apathetic or angy in periods where my work load increases. It throws me right back to being a parentifyed child, having to do so much on my own, feeling so helpless, and not being offered assistance. The work load doesn't actually have to be insurmountable, but it really truly feels like it. My response to this overwhelming feeling of stress and hopelessness, is escape, procrastination, isolation and depression/anger. Being raised with the expectation that I was supposed to handle everything thrown at me, also adds to guilt and shame when I'm not able to.

12:17 problems with authority 17:01 feeling of “not being seen” 23:25 no accountability 27:48 performance review 33:50 you should be thrilled!

This video really speaks to me. Thanks to my toxic upbringing, I developed an exceptional ability to "handle" difficult and abusive people. This made me a valuable asset in restaurant, retail, sales, and other service insdustry jobs, and eventually the "golden handcuff" phenomenon left me feeling trapped in those fields. At my last job, which involved Working With The Public in a customer service position, my co-workers called me "the psychopath whisperer." Whether the rude abusive person was a customer, a client, or a boss, I was somehow the only one who could calm them down and make them happy. It turned out to be a lucrative skill for me, but it was triggering af and took a heavy toll. At the end of every day I staggered home feeling exhausted, depleted, miserable, misanthropic, and bitter. On the bright side, now whenever the shoe's on the other foot and I'm the customer, I take pride in being as agreeable and low-maintenance as possible, and always tip 30-50%.

Every SINGLE point here hit me like I had a magnetic bullseye between the eyes. Thanks Patrick, once again—it amazes me how you deeply you get it. I'm 52 and have had 36 jobs. I'm on my LAST ONE - working on building the confidence to start my own business.

I grew up where my mother ignored me and my father was very physically abusive. When I would work I would be at the job for 90 hours a week while only punching in for 40 because I felt guilty about not getting things done and knew the budget would not allow me to get paid for more while knowing everything was not done. I was a manager at CVS and we were always understaffed and the staff were underpaid so I got really burnt out. I had trouble feeling like I was good enough to keep a job, thinking my termination was always around the corner. After 3 years I quit because I stopped enjoying movies I used to enjoy, I never looked forward to/had fun with anything and I dedicated so much of my time at the job that I had no social life. I felt this deep sense of aloneness and had no energy to keep going while gaining 80 pounds in a year through emotional eating/not having enough time to cook/take care of myself. I learned I wanted a job where I had more flexibility with my schedule and now I am a remote tutor and quickbooks bookkeeper. I only had the courage to quit because I felt like I was on the verge of dying if I didnt. I wish I quit sooner but everything is ok nowand I am glad I made the decision.

I went into possibly the WORST profession for triggering, child social worker. I thought I was passionate ( when I was in denial ) turns out I was being triggered every single day for 14 years. My therapist said I was always going to end up in that type of role to try and resolve trauma. Always felt fear of bosses, always had issues with fairness and justice, felt exploited because my labour was profited from. I just couldn't stand employment at all . Now I run my own business and I'm not triggered at all, wish I had done this move 20 years ago but I wasnt ready. Every family I worked with I tried to resolve my trauma by being the 'useful child '. The boss was the frightening covert narcissist mother. I was absolutely drained out emotionally giving support to so many families and getting no support for myself to manage it. The managers emotional intelligence levels were always so low it was always frustrating they just couldn't give adequate support. Always felt so trapped being managed by people less capable / less in tune. The biggest trigger of all was allegations from children that got buried, and when I raised it I was ignored/ dismissed like my mother used to. The burying of allegations took me to a very dark place and I lost all faith in my profession. I'm finally doing work that doesn't trigger me, no emotional drain, no toxic managers and bitchy workplaces. In fact , I work alone and have no reliance on one job/ client so I feel free and less stress.

The last bit of advice, "Don't sweat people who aren't in your inner circle," hit me like a brick. It's so applicable not just for work, but also for my current roommate situation. I'm going to meditate on that one so it sinks in all the way.

I have been in therapy for 3 years and NOT ONCE was my childhood trauma addressed (she focuses on my PTSD from an abusive marriage). But this explains why I react the way I do with my job situations SO MUCH!! Always looking for validation from my boss (especially if it was a female boss), not feeling appreciated, and feeling devalued, dismissed and always feeling like I had prove my worth (emotionally abusive/histrionic personality mother who constantly compared me to my younger sisters), and always always always looking for validation. WOW!!! THANK YOU!!!

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. We finished our performance reviews, and I got a 1.5 out of 4 & was passed up for a raise despite my contributions over the years, and the fact that my boss knows I really struggled mentally last year. Those things cut like a knife. This video proved everything I've began to realize.

Thank you. I’ve just retired early to recover from my 22 year career as a nurse. It was and still is hard to walk away from that profession. I feel like a war veteran. I had to curb my natural creativity, innovation and and leadership qualities to conform to dysfunctional environments. I’ve been suffering from agoraphobia for the past 9 months. I struggle with feelings of failure and a bit of an identity crisis. I know I’m not alone in this. Anyway, I really appreciate this video. Validation always is healing