Shifting Attention: How To Make A Rude Person Regret Insulting You
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Published 2022-08-15
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Today we’ll go over how to handle it when someone insults you.
We’ll start with a couple classic “destroy” comebacks. These are great at winning over an audience and embarrassing the person who insulted you. Be warned though, they may make the target of your comeback hate you.
Then we’ll cover some friendlier, more charismatic responses so that you come away looking cool and confident without making enemies.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:00 - Intro
0:17 - #1: The high status reframe
1:40 - #2: Accept the insult and use it against them
2:54 - #3: Insult the insult
3:27 - #4: Draw a boundary
4:31 - #5: The "tit for tat" or "eye for an eye" method
6:25 - #6: Show that you're unaffected
8:18 - How do I build deep, unshakable confidence?
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All Comments (21)
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I’m very tall for a woman. I’m 6ft without shoes. I can’t make myself shorter, so I have no problem with looking taller. I walked into a club one night and this little guy said “wooo….are you a man?” And I looked him up and down, and said “no sweetheart. Are you?” And I walked away. His friends laughed at him, and I won. 😂
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You will always regret losing your temper but you will never regret staying calm and appearing like it does nothing to you.
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I told my kids to tell me some of the insults they've gotten while in school and they would come home to tell me. Then I would give them some good comeback lines for friends or even bullies in school. They would come home the next day and say "Mom, I made the classroom/lunchroom fallout laughing with that line"... It really boosted their confidence and cut down on any insults, backhanded compliments or bullying they encountered.
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Don't take hurtful criticism or insults seriously when they come from a person whom you wouldn't go to for important advice.
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I've built my sense of humor as a defence growing up as a fat kid. Really made me appreciate the power of spoken language as it destroyed every attempted bully and won respect. Probably helped me develop an unhealthy obsession with wording and over analysis, too.
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A woman called me misogynistic once, I replied "How narcissistic of you to assume I hate women as if you represent all of them".
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My best one was after putting on 10 pounds. A guy with a beer belly said "damn your getting fat". I just smiled, poked his gut and said "just trying to catch up". Smile dropped off his face as I walked away with a smile.
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I'm learning as much by reading the comments as I did by watching the video.
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Simply ask the person who is attempting to diminish you "what would motivate you to say that"? This lets everyone know that you don't accept their insult as being valid, and puts them in the spotlight, and under intense social pressure, to justify their rudeness.
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So basically: "Do anything that isn't getting angry, offended or throwing a tantrum." A lot of people today could learn from this video.
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I'm one of those people who thinks of a snappy reply three weeks later, so I developed The Look when people say something insulting. It never fails.
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#6 “Show that you’re unaffected.” Unknowingly, I used this technique throughout my thirty-one career as a cop. I can’t tell you how many thousands of times someone insulted me as a prelude to their question. Ignoring the insult and answering the question as if it’s sincere almost universally diffused my “adversary’s” verbal attacks. This is great material, I wish I had the influence to make these videos mandatory viewing in our Police Academy. Cheers from Boston
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One of my favorites is when I tell a joke and someone is trying to be condescending and says "Yeah, I don't get it" as though it wasn't even worthy of the title 'jokes'. I replied "I'll tell you when you're older" and even he genuinely laughed at that.
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I love a good comeback, even when it’s directed at me. I (jokingly) told a coworker once “That file should work. Although I reserve the right to change my mind later—I am a woman after all.” His snappy comeback was perfect: “That’s fine. And I reserve right not to listen—I am a man after all.” 🤣 Touché sir!
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Worked as a prison guard. An offender that was always sarcastic and lippy approached me in front of a crowd of them. Him-“ya know, when I get out I’m gonna move right next door to you.” Me- “You can’t.” Him- “why?” Me- “I live too close to a school.” I walk away The whole tier blew up.
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This video has helped me so much. Someone said “nobody asked” after something I said out of the blue and I replied “what makes you think I was talking to you?” And that shut them up
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My grandfather used to repeat often: "Never forget your sense of humor, buddy!" Laughter will take you a lot farther in life than constantly *being offended*.
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I once had the best comeback to an insult that I still laugh about today. At work I was singing away when someone told me to stop singing and that people like me who can’t sing shouldn’t sing in public. So I said “oh okay, so do you also believe if people aren’t attractive they shouldn’t go outside?”. Would you believe he said yes!!! So of course I said “so what are you doing here?”. As you can imagine the whole office erupted in laughter whilst this guy struggled to regain his posture.
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Don't react to toxic people. Not giving them a reaction when they desperately seek it, is far more powerful.
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as a child I dealt with rude kids insulting me (they thought I was weird and quiet) just by laughing whenever they tried to insult me. it made them so angry and confused, it was great! the best way to respond is to stay calm, no matter what strategy you use
