WATCH OUT! Narcissists' toxic money habits

It’s not the narcissist money you have to worry about …ITS YOUR OWN! Narcissist will claim to be broke , will be reckless financially, make impulse spending and expect you to pay their bills especially even though they have a job. They will use you, encourage you to max out your credit to benefit the narcissist, and make broken false promises of they’ll pay you back . In reality , it’s as if the narcissist is charging you just to be in a manipulationship with them.

They're cheap not just with their money but with their time, effort, energy, love, attention and support and most importantly, their presence

"What's mine is mine...and what's yours is mine"

My narcissistic ex-husband, freaked out because I bought our daughter running shoes for her kindergarten class.The shoes were from Walmart, they were six dollars. He screamed and yelled because she had runners already… but the shoes needed to be non-scuffing soles. I lost my mind and said to him” yah, we’ll at least, she will still have her runners in 3 months, unlike you, and the case of beer you drink every 2 days” He spend at least 800.00- 1000.00/ month on himself. Going to eat out and drinking in the bar with his friends. The more I listen to these videos I can’t believe I actually lived through all this craziness. I’m so glad, I escaped and am living a normal life now.

you don't leave a narc, you convince him to leave you, and that he is right.. you smile and walk backwards slowly

When you’re with a narcissist, you leave with less money than you came in with. While they leave with the money they saved from you behind your back and all of the gifts you gave them (or things you were coerced into buying for them).

My dad holds money over only his immediate family- my mother, brother and me. In front of others he makes grandiose attempts to look generous.

I was shamed on a birthday weekend trip for buying a coffee mug from a cafe. I was humiliated for spending $30 and offered to return it. Mind you: I got no birthday gift and the trip was with friends so in reality the trip was for the narc to be able to flash his money paying for rounds of drinks for the group. This is someone who pays $600 for a group dinner out and $400 on gourmet cheeses that ended up going bad and had to be thrown out. I worked in a family business for 3 years without any pay. I was given a monthly "allowance" of $2000 while having a child in college and had given up a well paying nursing job. I got no retirement, 401K or anything for that whole time: I gave up the time in investments and security of a job to help build the business. I was so confused and humiliated because I had no idea what narcissism was at the time. I now have words for what I went through. Very hard lessons to learn at age 50.

I literally get anxiety attacks when I listen to you Dr Ramani. Everything you say is so real and yet I do not know how to explain that to other people around me because narcs are so deceiving and I often feel nobody will believe me. The golden rule, you can't win.

Narcs don't give you things out of love, it's to make you be 'in their debt'. I've paid off several narcissists just to get them off my back. Never ever take loans, let them pay or be financially beholden to them in any way if you can help it.

My father would tell my mother, “I’m not your damned meal ticket” when she was at home with my infant brother. I learned the lesson well: I achieved educational and career goals and earn a great salary - much more than my spouse - to be safe from financial manipulation.

I ended up homeless and in rather a lot of debt due to a 4 year relationship with a female narcissist. However, I turned my life around and have met some kind, decent human beings - this has restored my faith in human nature. Good people do exist.

My (now ex-) wife cheated on me, even though we had 3 young children at the time. Unfortunately, her boyfriend was a gambling addict and she fully enabled him. She maxed out dozens of credit cards, took bank loans, depleted our retirement funds, etc. She and her boyfriend would fly off to Las Vegas a couple time a month and blast through $25,000 per weekend... while I stayed at home to look after my kids. The crazy part is that she would yell at me for hours (for “wasting money”) if I took the kids to a movie or McDonald’s. She completely destroyed our family finances, yet takes no responsibility for that. I have been divorced for 6 years now. It’s a struggle for me financially now (I’m in my early 60s), but it feels awesome to be free of her toxic narcissism and hypocrisy. I am okay with the idea of dying poor, because I have peace and joy in my life now.

I did my own forensic accounting. I created a one year spreadsheet for my lawyer to use in court. My ex sued me for spousal support, even though he made more money than I did. He was spending more than he made on alcohol, porn, and massage parlors. The judge told him to learn to live within his means. The case was dismissed. My heart sang! I won! He was so angry. But then he tried to run me over in his pickup truck. Be safe everyone.

When I met my narcissist, it was actually on my 24th birthday. At the time I had right around a $250k net worth. All self made and regularly growing. 2 years later, about to turn 26, after selling the house because she wanted to move, selling a very nice loaded gmc truck, selling my motorcycle, selling off my business and all equipment with it, and moving 2200 miles across the country, I am left with a tiny fraction of that. At about 110k net worth left. No business, living in a one bedroom apartment, and trying to rebuild which has proven more difficult than imagined. However, she’s ALMOST out of my life finally. She has a domestic abuse charge and destruction of property charge that I’m involved with. So hopefully the case is settled soon, oh and she just got a dui 2 nights ago I found out. So now she has a bail violation and a dui charge. Unless they cut her some insane break again, she should be looking at 1-4 years in jail. I will finally be free of the torture.

He took all my money. Whatever I earned went to a joint account to which I had no access. I was told what’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is mine. Be grateful you have a roof over your head.

My ex husband used to rage every time I come home from the grocery like I stole money from him. So I stuck receipts on the fridge every time to satisfy his curiosity. Mind you I was working two jobs and yet hardly spent anything on myself! Meanwhile, he didn’t think twice about spending huge money on alcohol or on other people just to feed his starving ego. So glad I’m out of my hell hole.

Just leave narcissists as soon as possible. Narcissists will never get better. They usually get worse. They abuse everyone around them to gain a sense of power. Leave before it is too late. Avoid these relationships in the future. It is better to be alone than with toxic people.

my narc bought me an expensive car for my birthday: later I realized it was a tax strategy for his business! he needed an end of year write off.....he looked awesome in the community , made a huge deal of it.........and so generous in front of our friends. later, found out the car was not in my name.....it was never my car. so confusing and humiliating. what could I say? everyone thought oh he takes such good care of you...........not!!!!!!!!!! so then it was another way to strip me of having any assets of my own and being dependent on him. I had to ask for money for household items which was humiliating as a woman who had had a professional career. hard lessons learned.

My dad is a narcissist and when my brother or I tried to borrow from him when we were in the beginning of our careers, doing first jobs, barely making ends meet, it was so bad. He lectured the borrower for hours, inquired a full disclosure on what, when and why went wrong for us to need to borrow, etc. Luckily we had friends to help us out, and each other of course. I remember once I needed money to get to my next pay day, and talked with my brother sharing I have no option but go to dad. He freaked out so much, and re-borrowed through his own friends to give me a helping hand. I'm so lucky to have a sibling to share this! I'm also very lucky he survived, he was the scapegoat and suffered from alcoholism most of his youth years.