Healing an imaginary story that feels absolutely real until it's simply irrelevant

My grandma used to ask us, "Do you want your eggs boiled?" We'd say, "Yes.." then she'd say, "It already is.." and throw the egg onto our plate where it would break and the raw yolk would flow out. I never knew if she was being non-dual or just a jerk.

Interesting that you absolve the Narcissist. That was my very first realization when my separate self trance began to dissolve. I was like, "Why the Narcissist bashing? Why is narcissism any different from any other delusion?" I saw the scapegoating as just another social media fad. Any narcissist that caused me to turn inward, to examine, to finally wake up from the dream due to the pain, did me a huge favor. I just don't hang around with that personality type anymore.

I've had this dissolving in the beginning of the year, it lasted about 2-3 months, and right now I am pretty much identified with the self again. But there's nothing that can be done. It just feels sad. I want that pure nothingness back. I know that it is already it, but somehow I can't see it. I remember being so comfortable with just sitting in doing absolutely nothing, but now doing, doing, and stories! Exhausting!

- Realizing the story is irrelevant is one thing but deprograming the brains deep seeded reactionary habits to its past experiences is difficult task.

"If other people do not understand our behavior-so what? Their request that we must only do what they understand is an attempt to dictate to us. If this is being 'asocial' or 'irrational' in their eyes, so be it. Mostly they resent our freedom and our courage to be ourselves. We owe nobody an explanation or an accounting, as long as our acts do not hurt or infringe on them. A person who has not been completely alienated, who has remained sensitive and able to feel, who has not lost the sense of dignity, who is not yet 'for sale', who can still suffer over the suffering of others, who has not acquired fully the having mode of existence - briefly, a person who has remained a person and not become a thing - cannot help feeling lonely, powerless, isolated in present-day society. One cannot be deeply responsive to the world without being saddened very often. Happiness does not exclude sadness - if a person responds to life, he's sometimes happy and sometimes sad. What matters is he responds. The affirmation of one's own life, happiness, growth and freedom, is rooted in one's capacity to love. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love. Only the person who has faith in himself is able to be faithful to others. Paradoxically, the ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love. People do not see that the main question is not : "Am I loved?" which is to a large extent the question : "Am I approved of? Am I protected? Am I admired?" The main question is: "Can I love? " Exclusive love is a contradiction in itself. If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to all others, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism. Care and responsibility are constituent elements of love, but without respect for and knowledge of the beloved person, love deteriorates into domination and possessiveness. The pleasure in complete domination over another person (or other animate creature) is the very essence of the sadistic drive. Another way of formulating the same thought is to say that the aim of sadism is to transform man into a thing, something animate into something inanimate, since by complete and absolute control the living loses one essential quality of life - freedom. I believe that the experience of love is the most human and humanizing act that it is given to man to enjoy and that it, like reason, makes no sense if conceived in a partial way. What most people in our culture mean by being lovable is essentially a mixture between being popular and having sex appeal. Man's biological weakness is the condition of human culture. The deepest need of the human being is to overcome our separateness, to leave the prison of our loneliness. As long as anyone believes that his ideal and purpose is outside him, that it is above the clouds, in the past or in the future, he will go outside himself and seek fulfillment where it cannot be found. He will look for solutions and answers at every point except where they can be found- in himself. The person who gives up his individual self and becomes an automaton, identical with millions of other automatons around him, need not feel alone and anxious any more. But the price he pays, however, is high; it is the loss of his self. Many psychiatrists and psychologists refuse to entertain the idea that society as a whole may be lacking in sanity. They hold that the problem of mental health in a society is only that of the number of 'unadjusted' individuals, and not of a possible un-adjustment of the culture itself. The fact that millions of people share the same vices does not make these vices virtues, the fact that they share so many errors does not make the errors to be truths, and the fact that millions of people share the same form of mental pathology does not make these people sane. I think, to be specific, we got off the track when we concentrated more and more on production of things. Thereby, we created a split between intellect and emotion, because, in order to produce a modern technique, you have to use intellect, and we have created men who are very brilliant, who are very clever, but our emotional life has become impoverished. . . . freedom to create and construct, to wonder and to venture. Such freedom requires that the individual be active and responsible, not a slave or a well-fed cog in the machine . . . It is not enough that men are not slaves; if social conditions further the existence of automatons, the result will not be love of life, but love of death. A society whose principles are acquisition, profit, and property produces a social character oriented around having, and once the dominant pattern is established, nobody wants to be an outsider, or indeed an outcast; in order to avoid this risk everybody adapts to the majority, who have in common only their mutual antagonism. Exploitation and manipulation produce boredom and triviality; they cripple man, and all factors that make man into a psychic cripple turn him also into a sadist or a destroyer. Hate is a product of the unfulfilled life. If I am what I have and if I lose what I have who then am I? Alienation as we find it in modern society is almost total… Man has created a world of man-made things as it never existed before. He has constructed a complicated social machine to administer the technical machine he built. The more powerful and gigantic the forces are which he unleashes, the more powerless he feels himself as a human being. He is owned by his creations, and has lost ownership of himself. Modern man is alienated from himself, from his fellow men, and from nature. He has been transformed into a commodity, experiences his life forces as an investment which must bring him the maximum profit obtainable under existing market conditions. Organized religion is in substance a mystification, a means of hiding the wickedness of the social system. If the Christian principles of love, equality, and freedom were really practiced instead of only preached, there would be no need for a special institution(the church) to take care of those principles. We have a religious renaissance today in America, as many people say. I would say this religious renaissance, ninety percent of it is the greatest danger true religious experience has ever been confronted with. When people can't handle God any more, they turn to religion. Well-being is possible to the degree to which one has overcome one's narcissism; to the degree to which one is open, responsive, sensitive, awake, empty.... Well-being means, finally, to drop one's Ego, to give up greed, to cease chasing after preservation and the aggrandizement of the Ego, to be and to experience one's self in the act of being, not in having, preserving, coveting, using. The criterion of mental health is not one of individual adjustment to a given social order, but a universal one, valid for all men, of giving a satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

Good morning Suzanne 🙏🏼 🌎🌏🌍🕊️ To All of us 🌈 Spring is springing, time to get growing, everyone ✨🌌

Narcissistic abuse is awful but shows so acutely how much self identification equal suffering. It’s just unbearable for the apparent victim that is suffocating and the apparent abuser that desperately needs validation and control. It’s a harsh way for « what is » to destroy or illuminate the false boundaries. Again a great communication, Suzanne. Thank you ❤

About fifteen years ago I was walking in Times Square and I met a "clear", a Scientologist from birth. I don't think they were non-dual, but they did have a clearness in their mind that reminds me of you. It's almost as if their mind is a beautiful crystal bowl of water. That's the only way I can describe how they come off during conversation. I imagined it must be so peaceful to not be distracted by the world, but also terrifying if you were not born into it. Were you always like this?

glad that you are back in the cemetery and now it’s a beautiful garden and you’re not freezing anymore. I’m glad too that healing is furthermore happening and hopefully all your layers of pain and suffering will disappear finally. Love your messages from the beautiful cemetery. Thank you for sharing with us. ❤️ 🙏

I just realized this today.

It hard no one else understand how we see things all under stand they just think im the strain one

The great human struggle is not being able to figure things out,to make sense of THIS ! Even from a non dual perspective there aren’t all the answers and trying to sometimes brings you to a point of contradicting yourself 💜

The best comment you made. "You literally did the best you could!" Also, it is just that, the desolving of the false. The self I and everyone becomes from birth is false. The false personality if you like. There's no big deal about it, accept the fear that may arise in the process.

Can you make a video like this at a theme park or somewhere with obnoxious people wandering around in the background? I tend to get pretty meditative in those places. Well, beforehand I was pretty disgusted but then I realized acceptance of today's society was my path to liberation. I went to Disneyland last summer and saw the beauty in people I used to think were cancer of the earth. Maybe I'm not making sense here but essentially I dissolved my judgments of how others choose to live.

Thank you.

I listened to around 2 minutes, but I just had to start typing. Since this happened to me around 6 months ago, every day is just more crazier than the next. I keep thinking, "ok, this is crazy enough" then sure enough, it gets crazier. Just deeper and deeper and deeper. Disappearing into nothingness. Confusion. Worry. All happening perfectly.. I inquired with my teacher about what's happening in the body, and he refused to take on the conversation. Some people get lost in it, but since we have no control over what's arising, it's better we just take an observational stance without any input into the situation. My situation so far, objectively, has been fucking rough. If you had a lifetime of suffering, ironically enough, realizing your true nature is going to be a lot for you to unpack. Some traditions ease you into this process, soften the body a bit.. but I was just dunked head first, and I think you the same? Feeling a bit of deja vu now for some reason, gonna keep watching the video.. Hope it's getting easier for you Suzanne, I know what you're going through.

"There is nothing reflecting anything" amazing 😊

All the drama, expectations, seeking, chasing and grief falling away to a single point, singularity, where everything and nothing exist, beautiful. That’s how it feels for me. Love these videos! 🙏🏻🔥🌞🌹

Fall in love. Fall in love with the now. The beauty of it opens the heart. For all is that. Now.

I’ve said some version of this several times before, but here it is again: It is so deeply helpful that you have posted and are posting today these videos of this indescribable non-experience. Words that come to mind are “comfort” and “companionship.” Perhaps in the highest sense of those words. Talks that at some point in my life I almost certainly would have dismissed as nonsense. Yet now they feed something that knows it must listen even before it begins to grok what is actually being said. Like waking up from deep anesthesia to a kind, authoritative voice. Thank you for speaking this, again and again, as the recognition slowly softens and wakes up… 🙏💜🔥🫥⭕️🌻🐣🦋😂