Self aware narcissists here's how to work on your empathy skills
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Published 2021-08-25
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All Comments (21)
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I used to be a highly emphatic person. But over the years from narc abuse, years of self loathing injected from my narc mother, Iāve become so detached from myself and my ability to truly feel empathy and love. Growing up with a narcissist, you become used to constantly tailoring your actions to not make the narc angry, so much so that over time being your true authentic self doesnāt seem to come naturally anymore. I hope that i can heal from this one day.
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oh loved this: 'fixing isn't empathy, fixing is a way of not having to deal with the emotions of the situation.'
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I just got back from my therapist appointment where I told them I could be a narcissist and wanted to change. They told me that since I acknowledged that what I did was wrong instead of being stubborn and defensive (I have always been defensive), it's unlikely that I am one. Still, I'm following you for more helpful advices on how to change the tendencies. Thank you for your contribution.
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"That's not empathy. That's coincidence." "Legacy doesn't mean destiny." š¤Æš¤Æš¤Æš¤Æ
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I see it as a red flag when l set a boundary with someone in my life and they tespond with zero empathy. It truly does take empathy to treat those closest to us with respect and understanding.
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My mother would tell me, āyou were always selfish. Even as a baby.ā I cant believe she was narcissistically injured by her own infant baby. Lol my mom is pathetic.
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Thank you Doctor Ramani. I don't think I'm narcissistic: but I am a human who screws up -- this video is a good reminder on how to be a good person. How to connect, and be present for the people in my life who deserve the very best. The world we live in is so cold, with social media being so toxic... It's really good to be reminded that many of us could do better, even if we're not narcissists.
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ive learned in therapy, when we've been raised around toxic personalities, and/or been in these relationships; we take on parts of their bad patterns. Ive been having to adjust my fight or flight, my trying to help those verbalizing their struggles, trying to reflect to others, etc.
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This video is so helpful for me. After growing up with a narc mom and coming out of a narc marriage I can say I have realized I have some narcissistic tendencies but I am very aware and self reflection work has really returned me to my normal empathetic self. Still working...
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I am full of real empathy. I realise this after lots of watching your series. Earlier, when just in the transition out of a connection with a narcissistic person, I couldnāt think so clearly, and wasnāt so confident. It is great that I now know this. āŗļø
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I feel like a lot of people react the way narcs do to other people's sadness, because they have been conditioned to be afraid of bad/sad emotions. Hence the desire to deflect/share their own experiences, or wanting to "fix" the other person's problem. Even then, you can tell who really cares and who doesn't!
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I was accused of being the narcissist by the narcissist enough times that I actually wasn't so sure anymore. Very helpful video ā¤ļø
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May God reward you in a unique way.
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My deceased father never learned real empathy. I am grateful for resources beyond parents to learn how to adult.
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"Empathy is just being present and sometimes being with the discomfort of another's uncomfortable emotions," well said!
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Sometimes I do worry that I'm becoming just like the narc in my life after almost 50 years I started fighting fire with fire until I realized my match was no 'match' for his gasoline fire. Now, I just stay away from him as much as is possible. I'm no longer trying to communicate the way he does because that's not who I am.
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I have found the more I I am the target of narcissistic abuse, the more I exhibit narcissistic tendencies by keeping the conversation about me when around others which then invalidates others. Even though I have so much empathy and love to give, the cycle of self protection and self-preservation shows up time and time again throughout this healing process, which makes me look bad and feel terrible about myself.
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I am a narcissists! Thank you Dr. Ramani for putting this out. I embraced my narcissists ways in the past, it wasn't till I tried to take my own life in 2016 that I saw the errors of my ways. A lot of inner child work and therapy has taken me to be a better person. I'm trying to NOT be a narcissists, every year I am removing who I was and becoming a person I am proud of. Dr. Ramani is right, it is worth it for yourself and others. Thank you, again for this video.
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I love that your doing this. I donāt believe any person should just be written off because of the result of mental health issues. We are all growing. Everyone deserves the opportunity to self improve.
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I'm not a narcissist but my both parents are narcissists. And as a son grow up in this family my empathy skill works for narcissists or toxic people, but my empathy skill is not working well when I'm with normal, healthy people and when I try to understand their feelings. I understand healthy peoples feelings a little late, like 1 hour after meeting them...
