EXPOSED: The Hidden Risks of Popular Parenting Tips | PSYCHOLOGIST EXPLAINS

Thank you for reminding parents to trust their intuition! With all the apps, tik toks, books etc parents don't seem to trust themselves anymore they need to hear more "You've got this" and less "You're doing it wrong"

Mom of 3, trying to be a good mom, not a perfect mom. Some days are harder than others, but at minimum I hope my kids know that I love them no matter what, and I’m trying my hardest, and I’ll apologize when I mess up.

100% agree. I think the challenge with external validation is when that is the only or primarily source of praise the child is getting. We shouldn't be scared to praise external, but ensure our child knows we see and support all of them.

I like this info, I’m a grandparent, but it’s helpful to manage the “trends” in parenting advice.

I’d love to see more longer content videos along this vein. Common sense is hard to come by on social media sometimes, and you have it. Thank you!

I 100% agree with you. There is so much pressure on parents sometimes that some throw their hands in the air and tend to not do anything. Try raising kids through a divorce! Can you imagine the confusion for the children when the father and mother parent differently?🤦🏻‍♀

Excellent. There's no one way to be a perfect parent, but there are many ways to be a great one. That's my personal reminder to do my best and try to connect with my kids in ways that matter to them.

When my child is anxious, I acknowledge that and hug him and send him out there. I also praise him AND the effort he’s put in to achieve each milestone. Never hold back from showing love.

"Relationship is king" This. My relationship with my parents went to shit as soon as they suspected I was gay. Came out eventually and they started treating me differently and it was all downhill from there. We're fine now, but it took 10 years and lots of therapy to get there.

Just found out I’m pregnant so luckily haven’t delved too far into the parenting tips quite yet. Thank you for this video David! I loved the ending, left me having a positive outlook, whereas all the things you’re not supposed to do left me feeling confused and overwhelmed! Awesome video and love your perspective as always!

I think I only struggle with #2 because I have an autistic child. I have to pull him aside if he gets overwhelmed because he isn’t able to regulate his emotions and just push through it like other children. I do understand why that would be applicable to non-autistic children though. My mom always encouraged me to push through the umcomfy feelings when it came to social anxiety.

I love this! I especially loved the 'trust yourself' conclusion. In my opinion the number one thing that I found helped my parenting the most was recognizing and dealing with my own issues (my own anxiety, self-esteem, etc.) with solid help and support, and in a healthy way. I had a lot of trauma in my childhood and no way was I going to pass that on if I could help it. It worked pretty well, I think. They are both successful in relationships and business and they like me a lot.

This is absolutely the best parenting video I’ve seen.

Thanks for the example re: anxiety. Shielding kids from negative emotions or things that make them uncomfortable is not the way. Functional adults have to be able to work through negative emotions and uncomfortable situations.

Thank you for presenting COMMON SENSE advice. I agree 100%.

Thank you. People have been misapplying the growth mindset and use of compliments research. I told my daughter “I’m proud of you” for whatever wonderful thing she did at that moment. A well meaning friend pulled me aside to explain that we don’t tell kids that due to the research. Thing was she had never actually read Dweck’s works, and really misunderstood what she learned about it second hand.

So that last one...external validation is not something I want my kids to focus on. They will move on from me and if they need/ seek others approval or validation, regardless of the source, they will struggle needlessly. I love to ask my kids what they are most proud of about their proformance, or what was their biggest challenge and how did they deal with it, and questions like that. There's a lot to be said for not only your relationship with your kids (which I agree with 💯) but just as much for how you help them cultivate a relationship with themselves.

David, I loved this video it was extremely interesting. I really wish you could do more like this video except make it an hour long and take a deeper dive into the topic. Can you think about doing an hour long video on the topic of Co-Dependence PLEASE?

This is so great that you are sharing this with parents and grandparents. I was teaching junior high when this book came out, and as teachers, we only heard the part about what not to say and it did exactly what you said happened with your son. I decided it was kind of ridiculous to change what naturally came out when you want to show you’re impressed with a child’s work. Now I hear my daughter doing this with her boys (she’s an elementary teacher), and it doesn’t even sound natural or spontaneous to me. I know she’s practiced her responses but it’s still not a natural sounding response.

It’s even more basic. All these parenting style/types/theories that books, blogs, coaches sell are based on a really harmful idea. That the child-parent experience should be optimized. Giving your child the best parenting is not only beneficial but these experts hold the key to it. Human instinct paired with cultural standards (which change) is for the most part is adequate. Life cannot be optimized.