Iraq War Veterans, 20 Years Later: ‘I Don’t Know How to Explain the War to Myself’ | Op-Docs
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Published 2023-03-20
Rather than just making a movie about the men, I suggested that we make a film together — an offer that the soldiers quickly embraced. They told the story of the war as only they could: They played guitar, spat out rhymes and played to the camera. But behind all their bravado and posturing, they were just kids who desperately wanted the world to understand the war through their eyes.
In the last two months of 2003, the Gunners lost three men to I.E.D. attacks. They scrambled to create makeshift armor for their soft-skinned vehicles using scrap metal. When asked by a soldier about the lack of armor in 2004, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld famously said, “You go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.”
They were the army we had. They fought an enemy they couldn’t always see in a land they didn’t understand for reasons that were never entirely clear. In the midst of the pandemic, I visited the men and spoke with them about how they make sense of their role in a war that has yet to be fully reckoned with. In "The Army We Had," the veterans grapple with a past that still reverberates powerfully through their lives.
- Text by Michael Tucker
- Film by Petra Epperlein and Michael Tucker
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All Comments (21)
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I don't know one veteran, myself included, who feels like they made a difference. We had no mission apart from "wait until someone fires at you and then fire back." We didn't bring freedom and democracy; we tore the country apart and left it in chaos and ruin. And we treated innocent people like they were terrorists. When people call me a hero and thank me for my service, I flinch. I feel like I should be punished for what I've done, not praised.
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"I don't feel like we are defending our country any more. We just go where they tell us". Pretty much summed it up.
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I lost about 20 friends to suicide, drugs, and late night car accidents after my service. Hurts…
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I spent time in tikrit, ramadi, Baghdad international, Mosul and a bunch of other places and now I’m living in my car. God bless America
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"The wars will end and the leaders will shake hands, and that old woman will remain waiting for her martyred son, and that girl will wait for her beloved husband, and the children will wait for their heroic father, I do not know who sold the homeland but I know who paid the price" - Mahmoud Darwish
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The guy who said he felt the need to sign up after 9/11 was spot on. That was precisely the mood a lot of people felt in the immediate aftermath of 9/11. And the Bush Administration took full advantage of it.
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Man that one black guy is so remorseful despite probably being hailed as a badass hero by alot of people , you can tell he really thinks about those people he hurt alot
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I am an army veteran. My son was a Cavalry Scout. He refused to go to Iraq because he didn’t believe in the war there. He told them he would go fight in Afghanistan. He had a court martial, went to military prison for a short time, received an bad conduct discharge and lost all veterans benefits. His best Army buddy wasn’t going to deploy to Iraq either. He gave in and went. He was blown up by an IED. He was burned, broke his back, pelvis, he has a traumatic brain injury. He now is disabled for life and has horrific PTSD. That unit lost several soldier and others were injured. Then my son fell apart from survivor guilt. He had a breakdown. He will never be the same. He was 21. He is almost 40 now. His life is ruined. My daughter and son in law served as MPs. They had multiple deployments in Afghanistan. They have PTSD and other service related problems. They were very disillusioned by the time their last enlistment was up and got out. I am a 100% disabled veteran. My health was ruined by the non FDA approved vaccines I received during the first Gulf war. I have been ill, in pain and have memory and cognitive issues. I have been this way for 33 years. Over half my life I have been disabled. Our country needs to stop sending our troops off to needless wars. Now Biden and Blinken are backing Israel In their Genocide and war crimes. They are playing directly into Netanyahu’s hand to fight WWIII with not only more American funding and weapons but American troops. If they don’t destroy the entire world we will have more dead or mentally and physically disabled veteran and not much will change in the Middle East !
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Being an American is like being the child of a Mob boss, you don't really know what your Dad does only that he provides for you, then you're shocked when someone throws a bomb through your living room window.
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Credit to the people who made this film, it was very tasteful. No dramatic music, no sensationalist editing, just the stories of people, what they did, why they did it and what they think of it now.
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As a neighboring country, I remember the psychological state of America post 9/11. Americans were out for blood. Everyone was signing up to serve. Tiger Woods almost quit golf to go into combat.
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I love their transparency and raw feelings.
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“Money for wars but can’t feed the poor”
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We need more documentaries like this to show how much humanity is lost in war.
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That last bit got me. Made me tear up
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To everyone in the video, thank you for what you are sharing, i dont know if i would have it in me to say a word after going through this type of experience, it would be so frustrating and confusing/ degrading. Loving you all
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What the US government did to these eager and willing young men and the Iraqi people is tragic and criminal beyond comprehension. My heart goes out to them all.
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As an Iraqi who lived through this and grew up in it, i could barely finish this video. It was horrible and forever damaging to all Iraqis who had to go through this.
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i’m sitting here 17 years old tearing up from this video it’s truly heartbreaking what some of these mem/women had to go through at such a young age
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My dear grandpa was a Sergeant in WW2. It wasn't until his last years when he told me what he went through. Keep telling your stories
