Your Sentences aren't short enough (here's how to fix them)

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Published 2024-05-14

All Comments (21)
  • @asquirrelplays
    "It is done" - could mean anything from the pizza in the oven getting fully cooked to a critical world defining moment in religious history. I'm a fan of short sentences.
  • @diminaband
    I am loving your videos, just discovered you. But gotta tell ya, the sub transition “wooshes” are killing my speakers in the car 😂
  • @rockbandny
    I like in macbeth, how rosse says the ground was feverous and did shake and all the stuff about the sky and the chimwnys and macbeth says twas a rough night. Also I have this character Dana and hes Texan, from a small town, and he is surrounded by showing off, "educated" "sophisticated" people who just brag a lot and he'll often say, "ain't that somethin'". But in like an almost derogatory way hidden behind politeness
  • Whew. I was scared. I thought this was going to be about JUST writing short sentences, similar to the media equivalent of the seven-second sound bite. Thankfully, it's more of a "variety is the spice of life" approach to the power of the short sentence. Thanks, Bookfox! I find your videos most helpful.
  • @patrickcoan3139
    Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU, for coming out and affirming that long sentences are valid sentences. I get dinged for 35 word sentences all the time and try and keep 'er cool. The greats have rhythm, and momentum. Let's talk about semicolons next!
  • In one of Terry McMilian's novels, the first page and part of pg 2 was ONE long first sentence.... took me by surprise......the sentence was portraying her "thought" process...very ineresting.
  • @jeyhey5320
    Your 89 long sentence is actually two sentences. There is a full stop before „Under“.
  • @darkengine5931
    I seem to love both reading and writing long-winded sentences, with Nicholson Baker being my favorite author in terms of prose style. Yet I have difficulty pinpointing exactly why. Might it have something to do with rhythmic feet and meter, as taught in poetry? An excerpt from The Mezzanine :

    >> At some earlier point in the morning, my left shoe had become untied, and as I had sat at my desk working on a memo, my foot had sensed its potential freedom and slipped out of the sauna of black cordovan to soothe itself with rhythmic movements over an area of wall-to-wall carpeting under my desk, which, unlike the tamped-down areas of public traffic, was still almost as soft and fibrous as it had been when first installed.

    Somehow his writing reads so effortlessly to my eyes, despite being extremely long-winded ("at some earler point" vs. simply "earlier", "had sat" vs. "sat", "had been" vs. "was", etc.) and drifting in thought. I can't place my finger on why.

    As another example, I find, "The old knife was chipped," rather jarring, staccato, and difficult to read. Yet, "The tarnished knife was dull and chipped," is actually easier for me to read and it seems to flow more smoothly. It also seems more suspenseful to me with a softer cadence at the end. The former one seems to have a stronger and finalizing cadence to it: "The old knife was chipped. [The end]."

    If anyone has any insight into why I find such things easier to read, I would love to hear it!
  • @robmaxwell3076
    Thanks for covering topics that get less exposure elsewhere. I just subscribed.
  • the shortest sentence in any of the books I've read has to be ONE word like OH, or OW, or FUCK, or CRAP......like that
  • @gonzoteacher
    What are your thoughts on the use of intentionally incomplete sentences for effect? Thanks for the vid and the channel!
  • @mizutori2057
    Interesting video. In the passage you show at 1:15 there are two sentences before "They rode on," and two sentences after it. Not one as you state. You can still make the same point of sentence length variance by saying that the two sentences before and after "They rode on," are fairly lengthy. At 3:08 the passage shown is five sentences (not six as stated) and has the following sentence lengths: 54 words, 46 words, 12 words, 12 words, and 5 words. Your point still stands that it is a "funnel" shape.
  • @shawn4990
    Great video. So helpful. Thanks! (lol.... three sentences there... couldn't help myself :)
  • @WankiTank
    good lord, I miss 30 seconds ago when I didn't know about that short story.
  • @_Codemaster_
    The funnel thing. I stumbled into this without noticing it at first: I wrote the "broad" chase of the hero vaulting over obstacles, bolting upstairs, while the enemy lay in pursuit. As I felt the enemy come closer, my sentences "narrowed". Until one word. Bang!

    I wonder. Can this tool become cliché, when overused or read too often?
  • @thatfamily2917
    Does anyone else think he talks really fast? I keep having to slow his videos down to get everything, haha. But also, everything he's saying is really good, so that's still a point in favor
  • Knew all of the quotes, but not the last one. Powerful, though. Call me Ishmael is THE short sentence of literature. :P Short sentences are great to sum up, to make that sudden u-turn or, diverge from the story. But, unfortunately, nowadays it's the lack of longer sentences that is more common than those short ones. :/