Kurt Metzger - Jehovah's Witness Drama - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored

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Someone should make a movie out of this. This story has compelling and deep characters, an amazing plot, and a plotwist at the end!

OK, so I did stand up for a living for about three years. I was alright, but not great. Didn't have that spark of genius. But this guy, who doesn't look particularly charismatic, kept an audience on the string for TWENTY FREAKING MINUTES while he told three different stories with just one tie up punch line at the end. Freaking brilliant.

His eyes. They tell stories on their own.

That guy admitted he might’ve accidentally murdered a guy in his job interview haha and he got hired. That’s epic

"Other lies come easy once you know how to do that magic." Jesus, is that spot-on.

"yea he just kicked a guy in the chest, and he didn't get up". Im crying.

At EVERY show, there is this dude/girl who is laughing louder and longer, more distinctively than the others. Today I came to realize that it makes me so HAPPY to hear it and experience it. Cause that person is also probably touched in a way that for them is very unique and genuine.

This was not a polished bit. This was a talented man telling his story. Raw and real

Was raised JW, me and my grandmother left, now I celebrate birthdays and she has 2 boyfriends. We're both living our best lives now, one more than the other.

Kurt's right. I learned how to lie every weekend at Mormon church as a kid, then mastered it as a dope fiend.

10:16 "In retail, you just wanna find someone you could hangout with" Dude, that makes so much fucking sense. At my very first job interview, the store manager and I talked about this music venue we both went to and after I was hired we would talk about music and other random shit on slow days. He was pretty cool about me taking home some food.

an addition to an already impressive resume by nights he controls the streets as zumo xDxDxDXD lmfao

Awesome story, one of the best I've heard on this show.

Thats a really great piece, i love the way it all ties together. like the setup of going from religious to non at the start leading to having himself contending with his own religion and the shit going on around him. slowly developing from finding out about gossip to hanging out with someone with a more morally loose perspective. Then finally realizing someone else who started in the same place he did has gone down a much darker path than he could previously have imagined... The whole thing is just this great, complex parable for loosing religion or any belief really. No rules are real, your perception of reality is flawed.

I was born into and raised a JW.This was one of the funniest most relatable comedy skits I have ever heard.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

First Jehovah's witness jokes I've heard that I'm actually relating to.

I too was raised Jehovah's Witness... They call their religion "the Truth" but seriously Kurt here got the truth that I saw myself. 100% on point!!!

"No, nobody knows." I legitimately spit out the cereal I was eating. Hilarious.

he looks like Russel Peters if he were white.