Unrolling History: Military Grade Toilet Paper

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Published 2023-08-23
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All Comments (21)
  • Its a weird week. Lemme know what you think. Also TFE gas station shirt will be in merch store next month!
  • @damonculbert5853
    When Brandon Herrera wins his congressional election, he needs to put a bill forward to abolish, single ply, toilet paper.
  • @blze0018
    "Abolish Single-Ply Toilet Paper" would get my vote every single time.
  • @willerwin3201
    No joke, I had a sergeant in my platoon who had bleeding problems in Iraq because of our military grade toilet paper. I mentioned this offhand to my grandfather, and that WW2 vet made sure my sergeant had enough top-quality TP direct mailed to him to last the rest of our 15-month deployment. My grandpa took that shit seriously. I miss him.
  • @CaitiffFTW
    Fun fact: The position of "Groom of the Stool" was HIGHLY sought after, for one very simply reason. The selected person would have immediate and sole access to the Monarch, in the Monarch's most intimate moments. This afforded the Groom massive sway, since this was the only person outside of the Monarch's marriage who actually got to talk to the Monarch, on a regular basis. Ambition will make you do, or in this case clean, a lot of shit.
  • @MrTazLewis
    You call this unhinged? This seems like a perfectly acceptable subject to talk about.
  • @jamesweible5357
    "what does the future hold?" "poop on my finger probably" That had me guffawing, nice one dude.
  • @yomanyo327
    I consulted for a company where they tried to save money by replacing their TP with a single-ply, due to increased use, the TP expenses went up 30%.
  • @FilthyFaker
    "I'm going to abolish single ply toilet paper and then leave you alone" Best campaign speech in the history of earth. 🙏
  • @user-vb8pj5ew2x
    The ultimate demonstration of how little "military grade" should mean to anyone.. We need more unhinged TED talks like this.
  • @rmartinson19
    Single ply is also standard in prisons. Plus they ration it pretty hard in there. You only get a set amount (four rolls per month), and if you go over that amount, you have three options: buy more (at inflated prices) from the commissary, borrow some from another inmate, or get real comfortable with your bare hand. The kicker was that even if you managed to scrimp and save your TP so you had a nice surplus so you didn't have to worry, the guards would come and take it all away form you. Happened to me like three times. I rationed my TP so hard that after months and months I'd built up a small pyramid of extra rolls stacked against the wall by the toilet. It was a thing of beauty, looking at it and knowing that I could go hog wild and use as much TP as I wanted for the next two or three months. Then some asshole CO would come in and say "that's too much toilet paper" and steal the entire stack. Just about made me cry from pure frustration.
  • @Jedi450
    In Army Basic Training we were told that our single-ply toilet paper was to be used one square at a time. We were shown a specific way to fold it so that when you tore off the correct corner and unfolded it, there was a perfect, finger-sized hole in the middle. I'll let you use your imagination for what comes next. When you tore off that corner, save it, because after wiping, you pulled the square up off your finger. If done correctly, this will completely clean your finger except for under the nail. For that, use the torn off corner.
  • Dude, you're so fricking awesome. I spent most of this video cackling like an insane hen at the hilarious fury you put into this informational rant. Kudos for hitting the John Wayne toilet paper line in the first 30 seconds or so of the video. I knew it would be there, just didn't know how quickly. And it's a truism, not a joke. A friend of mine who was in your situation here told his wife that if she bought single ply toilet paper ever again he was going to install a bidet in the bathroom that used a high force pressure washer as the 'gentle cleaning' apparatus. Bonus point was that he used the single ply paper to TP his father-in-law's house as a birthday prank. In return his father-in-law gave him a glitter bomb for Christmas that year. A day or so after cleanup was finally completed both guys found these pranks to be funny. Their wives, not so much. Both of their wives enforced a "there will be no more of this going on" law with threats of castration. Since both women were surgical nurses and therefore had skills with scalpels, peace quickly followed. Additional benefit: she never bought single ply TP again.
  • @mckeeca93
    "OK, so I have about 10 minutes to eat breakfast, finish this cup of BRCC and get work. Let's see if there's anything interesting on youtube this morning.....ah yes PERFECT" ....I know, old video. I'm new to the channel and the podcast and I'm playing catch-up. Dude, you get my mornings started off right. I'm the only daughter in a family of military men (brothers, cousins, dad, uncles, grandpa, EVERYBODY). Listening to you and the guys on Unsubscribe podcast makes me feel right at home. It's like listening to my cousins bickering at a family reunion. Thanks for all you do!
  • @HeisenbergFam
    Wife "accidentally" buying single-ply toilet paper to upset you is most trolling wife thing to do
  • @roustabout4458
    Just a couple thoughts ... As a former truck driver of 30 years, I can tell you that truck stops use mil-surp toilet paper. That stuff still has the bark on it half the time. The only things a truck driver dreams of are smooth roads, light loads, and two ply toilet paper. Encourage your wife to do more cameos, she is prettier than you and I gotta look at dudes all day as it is. Every little thing helps
  • @galetalon3133
    Fun fact about my life: Growing up I only ever saw single ply once outside of a public bathroom. I was 9. Up until that point I held the belief it was defunct toilet paper and it was in public because no one could shit without clogging the toilet. Then my mom brought home this shit and I realized it was an actual product. I was not okay that day.