Girl goes viral crying that she can't style her natural hair. here's the solution.

oh my gosh your hair looks so effortlessly slicked back with no obvious residue could you tell me how you did that I'm dying to know

So much mention of white beauty standards in the comments. That’s such a dishonest take of why many black women are dissatisfied with their natural hair. Black beauty standards exclude 4c hair. Short hair. Coarse hair. I work with white women. The only time I feel self conscious about my hair is when in black social spaces. From family asking me if I was still natural, to feeling out of place amongst a sea of wigs. Natural hair is not celebrated in mainstream black culture

Not even women of other cultures try to do their hair in 30min most times. They have whole routines. The same way we study how to install wigs and protective styles, we have to study our natural hair. It’s sad that we don’t get to see our beauty reflected in society as much but it is definitely here online!

You don’t need to stretch, braid, twist your hair all the time. Learn to rock it in its natural state. Spray it with water and put a leave in to wear it as an afro- no matter the length. It’ll shrink but learn to embrace it. Pat it down, use your fingers, love it. It’s so easy.

The biggest thing about going natural, especially for my 4c hair girls, is to accept how it looks in its natural state. The over manipulation absolutely kills 4c hair. The best thing is to rock it in its Afro state, pick it out or sponge it. When it gets long enough, learn to do a proper wash and go. Yes, we 4c girls can have our wash and gos too. HOWEVER, if you’re thinking it’ll look like the 3c girlies wash and gos, you will be disappointed. Our hair is kinky, not curly. The key is ACCEPT THE TEXTURE! It’s beautiful but it’s different and we have been taught that it’s ugly. It’s not ugly sis. Your hair is unique and it will not conform to the social norm ok? The key to 4c hair is to accept and release how you think it should look. God blessed us with such unique hair. Don’t hate it, learn it and embrace it. If all else fails, big chopped hair grown out for 5-6 months is the perfect length to start some baby locs or sisterlocks. Scarves also look nice on us. Can’t figure out how to make the scarf look fashionable? They have pre tied scarves. We have options sis. With so much love…..Aunty ❤❤❤❤

Im so glad the women at her work supported her and told her she looked like a model 😢 we're our own biggest critics. i can relate to the feeling of being frustrated and feeling prettier with braids or weave before it got longer and i figured out how to style it.

This is evidence that natural hair channels need to do more than show wash and goes and twist/braid outs. I recently found "Glory Okings" channel. Many of her styles are easy, don't require long hair, and don't require extensions. I also found several channels from about 8 years ago where the creators actually showed creative ways to style hair.

I felt like her hair looked fine. She’s self conscious because it’s short but honestly, the simple messy bun makes her look more approachable and feminine than any bust down shiny weave.

She is thinking in straight hair, trying to lay it down when it's not meant to lay. It's quite sad.

im happy she has sweet coworkers. i understand her frustration i think she just needs to do some research

I think the main take away is the MINDSET. That’s the part that hurt me so bad. I kept thinking my natural hair was so childish looking and I wanted to look more feminine, grown & sexy. It wasn’t until i kept getting mistaken for looking older with my weaves (not in a good way) did it start to click. Your natural hair IS YOUR BEAUTY & YOUTH!..which is the #1 thing women are obsessed with. It took time for me to get it an appropriate moisture level but once I did, I started wearing it in a wash-n-go daily and haven’t looked back. The trick is if you feel confident In you hair, so will everyone else. Everyone else can also sense when you’re insecure about your hair as well…

Hearing her co-workers compliments brought a tear to my eye, it just sounded so genuine and they were just so happy to see her

I understand her frustration. She simply hasn’t learned how to style and care for her hair yet. All she needed was one of those drawstring bands to make a puff…there are items and products out there to help us learn. YouTube has a WEALTH of videos showing how to style natural hair at ALL lengths🤷🏽‍♀️ invest some time in learning. Ps- I love love love how you say “Cuuute!” That is the cutest❤❤

Is everything hard until we decide to change our mindset and point of view about everything? Is our hair EASIER to manage/style once we change our mind about hair length/gender and also live in harmony with our hair texture? Do problems arise when we try to be who we are not? Living in harmony with self is a lifesaver!

the day black women with 4c hair learn to love their hair the way it looks without any manipulation, is the day we will move on from this "natural hair is so hard" conversation. her hair was already good in the state it was when she took off the bonnet, all she had to do was use a pick comb to fluff it out.

Afros and medium to large earrings are so beautiful so elegant. Trust me! My husband fell in love with me when I used to wear one.

When your natural hair is longer, you're either going to make peace with stretching it or chop it all off. Not stretching it is a recipe for tangles and body aches from trying to work through the tangles. I keep mine stretched and I keep my salon appointment. People make entire careers out of doing hair, but that's not my path. My hair can be a job, but it sure won't be my job. Find peace and choose it.

I just started wearing my 4c hair out at work. I'm just wearing it in an afro and all my white coworkers gave me compliments. Even though I just sprayed some product and used a pick, I'm trying to learn to be comfortable wearing my hair with little manipulation.

I have a daughter, I guess she’s in the 4 family. She really doesn’t have a distinctive curl pattern, and she’s low porosity. I was able to manage her hair and get her to tail bone length. She is a teen now and she does her hair, and she was taught what to do but she doesn’t do it. She does what everyone else does and now her hair is multiple lengths and a bit past her shoulders. I told her her hair needs moisture, and washing it once a week and deep conditioning is what got it so long when I did it. I’m frustrated because she gets so hung up on texture, but that’s not what grew her hair. We don’t have the same hair, yet I grew it for her, but texturism is such a big deal to her. She compares herself when her hair was actually longer than mine at one point. Low porosity hair needs moisture and to be gentle with it. I did a lot of twists in her hair, like the loose Senegalese type but with her natural hair and hair butters, small perm rods on the ends. She just wants to wear her hair like her counterparts, but that’s what’s causing the issues. I know how to make it thrive but she is in control at this point. I will just look at pictures to reminisce.

Hair is just hard, natural or not, no matter it's texture or the race or ethnicity of the woman. It's highly visible, fickle, gets messed up while we sleep (while we sleep...while we do the thing that restores and renews everything else!) reactive to weather, subject to fashion trends and social judgments, changes with age and hormones, physically demanding to style because arms aren't weightless and it's actually a little strength and flexibility workout to keep your arms up high and moving with purpose, often gets styled at the time of day when we are most in a hurry and worst of all it is a lightening rod for insecurities. There's no magic formula to being happy with ones hair other than accepting oneself.