CPTSD & My Journey Towards Integration—part3, Jul 2020 *TRIGGER WARNING* (trauma, suicidal thoughts)

I have CPTSD and I am learning watercolor painting as part of my healing and self-regulation. I watched your painting videos first and then YouTube figured I’d like this one too. I’ve always thought about sharing my own journey at some point when I’m ready. This could not have been easy.

Thank you for sharing your journey, it has been very helpful to me. I found you through the ugly art I now joyfully fill my sketch book with gorgeous grotesque images !! I am so happy with myself. It feels like such an act of kindness to allow myself to do this. Without criticiism or judgement being playful.

Emotional flashbacks…I too had no idea this was a thing until I realized that’s what was happening. I thought all feelings were real time but came to see that the feelings were memories with no visuals and were from the past. This has been huge for my recovery. I can then attend to those feelings and metabolize them and heal them. Pete Walkers books have been life changing for this. Thank you for sharing your experience.❤

It's amazing how much I relate to your sharings so far..and the way you express yourself and emotions and processess. I don't want to spam the space here.. As I ended the video..talking about the suicidal tendencies and attempt..and the way your family treated it..and the way you navigated it and concluded that this part of you needed space to be heard and you, the adult, now gives that space..this is what happened for me as well. And this is the darkness i was talking about one comment ago. Unless I heard her..and I validated her feelings of rage and dispair, I was treating her the same as her abusers. Her..the little girl and the teenager that i was. I love her very much now..and she diserves the space to express her feelings and I can..transmute that negative energy into pure life force. After all, energy is energy no matter what..I am feeling happy and grateful for you and for me, not only for surviving, but for exploring..ourselves beyond the fear and pain. I believe you have so beautiful depths and your spirit is so light..and there is a balance in it. A harmonizing atmosphere around you. May you find much joy on your journey..deeper than you can imagine

You kind of instantly got under my skin (as a fellow human being) years ago when I did one of your workshops. The more that you share with us more I get it why felt this connection back then. Thank you for your honesty and openness. Thanks for wanting to give more than most people do.

I only recently found your channel (for the art videos). But I, too, have been on a cPTSD breakdown&healing journey (since 2020 for me). It is nice to hear people talk about it with such complexity and nuance and understanding. One of the gifts and curses i have found with healing is that i have profound insight into myself and into relationships, that other people don't have. While I'm grateful for the learning i have done, it can sometimes make it hard to relate to others. Sometimes i feel just as isolated as i did before i started healing.

Yes!! I grew up with a bi polar mom, and she refused medication………it has taken me almost a whole lifetime to recognize why I feel so broken sometimes…….thank-you for this!!

Sharing is caring. Thank you. X x

Marie-Noëlle, thank you for sharing your thoughts. It’s very important. I was touched and cried. You have so deep and beautiful, caring and kind soul. Thank you for your Love. I am so glad and grateful that I discovered you.

Thank you so much for the willingness to share your stories, your thoughts and how you are coping with it. A big hug to you <3