Deal with Bullies the RIGHT way.

I just keep thinking about how fortunate Chase’s kids are to be equipped with his wisdom.

When my daughter was in primary school, there was much effort put into working with the kids so they became collaborative partners at setting the tone of behavior. One time a new student came to school and started some bullying behaviors and the kids just said, "We don't do that here". Game over.

I’m 65 and still work part time.I come in contact with bullies .Glad I discovered The behavior panel .

I was bullied in Middle school in the early 80’s. I was shamed for having big front teeth “bugs bunny”, for day dreaming in class “Earth to Katie” with girls putting their fingers on either side of their head like aliens…I was ridiculed for not cursing or drinking alcohol at a sleepover in 6th grade, I went to sleep earlier and the girls stomped on me and crushed candy into my hair with their shoes. Took me decades to get over it. It is still part of my core being. I have made sure I am always kind to everyone, and advocate for those who are vulnerable.

As a former teacher, this video should be used in every school for educators, parents and students.

I tried one of the techniques as a kid, well i asked the guy why he was bullying me, because I didnt think he was evil. And i thought initially he would laugh at my stupid naivety, but he said "why are you nice to me? Like i literally treat you like garbage" I said because i think youre a nice person overall, just have to act tough in front of others I guess.. and he apologised for being an asshole, we even developed friendship slowly after that, which was so surprising to me because I thought he would go back to bullying when other boys were around

This was great. Just the other day I was harassed by a woman as I sat in my car before an appointment. My response to her was, "I don't know what makes you feel so unhappy but I'm sorry for you."

I understand where he's coming from, but it's hard to imagine a child saying these things to stop a bully.

I've made this comment elsewhere but I'll repeat it here - A lot of these responses would be super cringey coming from a classmate or a colleague. Fine for a parent or a counselor to say, not so much for regular social situations between two people of equal footing. The way to deal with bullies is anything to the effect of, "I'm not having it." Not being wounded, not retaliating or trying to get even, not "going deep" like some of the ideas Hughes suggests here, and certainly not empathizing. Emotionally connecting with someone who's being a jerk to you only rewards that behavior with more opportunities to get pushed around. The exception, I suppose, would be if the bully is genuinely a friend of yours and their bullying is out of character. With a regular bully you set the boundary quickly, firmly, and fairly. That advice was actually given to me by a bully. I've found it almost always works.

I was bullies in school. I was told to ignore them because they wanted me to react. That didn’t work. They kept it up even more. Finally, after several incidents the bully followed me off the bus, they didn’t get off at their stop which was before mine, and followed me to my door pushing and shoving me the whole way. I got to the door and stopped. Thinking they were going to follow me inside I decided this was going to stop now! Threw my books down and blindly threw the best left hook she never expected! She never bothered me again. Even her “friends” who came to support her and intimidate me decided I was not to be reckoned with! Word got out and I was never bothered again. Sometimes you need to take a stand and defend yourself. Most of the bulling I received, I feel, was out of jealousy. Those bullies with narcissistic behaviors might do well with the techniques you described. Especially those that seem to be nice and yet throw nasty comments as though they were compliments. Word salad might help a lot in these situations.

I did an evil thing when I was a kid. I was raised JW, and as such I was hounded, bullied, excluded and picked on by kids and teachers alike. When i was in secondary school, a group of girls dared me to pick on a tall, awkward looking redhead. They even told me what to do and say. They told me to tug her hair, ask if it were a wig etc. I walked over and did it. The girl stood there with her head down the whole time, it was only about ten second but she must have felt terrible. I turned back to receive my praise and acceptance from the group, and the girls had gone. I did it for acceptance. It failed, leaving me guilty and sad. It's a very strong memory and I've made an effort to be as kind as I can be since then, but it reminds me why people do awful things.

Bullies in the workplace are HUGE. A video on how to deal with that specifically would be great. Bully colleagues and bully bosses. I hear about it so often. Thank-you for this video.

There was a guy at a local convenience store who was always a jerk to me. Out of no where I just blurted out " is it me you don't like or is it you you don't like it" That changed everything. Certainly, I didn't become best buddies, but he respected me from that day on.

I love how he's addressing that bullies don't grow out of being bullies. I have AuDHD and Temporal Lobe Epilepsy and I get bullied a lot as an adult. One of my favorite responses is "What is it you hope to gain by saying/doing this/behaving this way?"

Love Chase. ❤️ I could listen to his voice all night. And I get the feeling he truly uses his talents to help people better understand each other.

I had someone walk past looking over as I was leaving my home for work one day, and I felt really uncomfortable that he saw me leave the house. That was my own paranoia, but it led to him turning around and asking what the hell I was looking at. He clearly sensed my judgement very sensitively. I shrugged, it wasn't enough and he rounded on me ready to fight. He was coming straight for me and I could read that he was serious. Twenty years working on the street, I know when shit is about to get real. I don't know where it came from, but I suddenly said to him "I can see you're not happy. That's not my fault, and I'm sorry, and if I've made things worse by looking at you the wrong way or whatever, I apologize. He continued towards me, and at the last second put his hand out to shake. It was a genuine handshake. It lasted, it was firm and no words were said. Then he went on his way. He was a very young man, 19 to early 20s. I had surprise tears in my eyes as he left. I think he possibly did too. It was powerful.

Dear all…I hope you find this encouraging. I once bought a bouquet of flowers for a bully female boss. She made everyone miserable. When I gave her the flowers 💐 I said I bought these to cheer you up because I sense you are feeling upset about something The staff were in awe and the gesture melted the woman’s anger

This is a wake up call to a reactionary response and instead responding to a calm sensitive response. Excellent example for children to learn in using long term tactics that can turn a bully into a life long friend and also help them in reforming their view of themselves.

Chase, you’re a total class act❤️ I’m reminded of what my father has told me countless times- There are 3 roads in life you can take-the high road, the same road, or the low road. You’ll never regret taking the high road.💯❤️

I went through 2 years of being bullied in high school, the fact is there’s nothing to say to a bully to get them to leave you alone I tried many times the only way to defeat a bully is to stand up to them because the last thing a bully wants is to be drawn into a fight they want to be the dominant one the one in control. Talking does nothing telling others does nothing you have to find that confidence and take a stand against them I did and the guy never bothered me again.