How to fix a broken heart | Guy Winch | TED
10,594,251
Published 2018-02-27
At some point in our lives, almost every one of us will have our heart broken. Imagine how different things would be if we paid more attention to this unique emotional pain. Psychologist Guy Winch reveals how recovering from heartbreak starts with a determination to fight our instincts to idealize and search for answers that aren't there -- and offers a toolkit on how to, eventually, move on. Our hearts might sometimes be broken, but we don't have to break with them.
The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You're welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know.
Follow TED on Twitter: twitter.com/TEDTalks
Like TED on Facebook: facebook.com/TED
Subscribe to our channel: youtube.com/TED
TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy (www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-te…. For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at media-requests.ted.com/
All Comments (21)
-
Enjoying this talk? You'll love the brand new TED Radio Hour series – Mind, Body, Spirit. Hear TED speakers share their eye-opening ideas on how we think, move, and feel. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2TjQf2riraLkqqFGxK65JI-leCAxm1eD
-
It hurts man. It really hurts.
-
Hope is the most dangerous thing ever during a break up
-
For anyone reading this, when your heart breaks and I mean, really breaks, you'll wake up every day for months and they'll be the first thing on your mind. Until one day, they're the second. Then the third. One day, though, you'll wake up and they don't be there at all. Time does make us stronger. I've had my heart splattered on the side of the road, but I know (and you will too) that love is not a finite resource. Look within and there's a wellspring :)
-
“There is no break up explanation that will make you feel satisfied” DAMN that hit home..
-
Never believe someone is better than u nothing last for ever
-
Stuck in between “wanting to feel that kind of love again” and “don’t want to feel that kind of heartbreak again
-
The worst pain I've ever felt, was when I realized how quickly my ex got over our relationship. How quickly they stopped loving me. Being left to wonder, if we ever loved each other the same. I would not wish this pain upon anyone.
-
I'm here, 6 months later. I didn't think I could ever get to this point again but I have. My heart is healed. I'm never going to take life for granted again. I'm really happy with my life now
-
A doctor once told me ”Because you didn't want to lose them, you lost yourself in the process. Find yourself again and you will find happiness”
-
“Idealizing your ex instead of focusing on how they were wrong for you. Indulging thoughts and behaviors that still give them a staring role in this next chapter of your life, when they shouldn’t even be an extra” Writing this so every time someone likes it - it will remind me. Thank you Guy Winch.
-
I find some comfort knowing people can explain that gut wrenching heart ripping feeling. Eating feels like a challenge, nights are difficult to sleep through and mornings feel like the beginning of battle.
-
Watching this again 4 months later after my heartbreak.. I honestly feel way better as compared to before, wayyyy better. Almost fully healed. It just popped up on my feed, and I clicked on it simply for the feeling of nostalgia. A reminder of the lesson I've learnt, and the emotional growth I've experienced.. Ladies and gentlemen believe me you will heal. Just takes time.
-
The feeling of “I’ll never find somebody like them again” is probably the most destructive mindset for me.
-
I just want the pain in my chest to go away. This is an update 2 months later and I am so much better.
-
You know the comments are actually more comforting than the real videos. This is when your heart breaks the most.
-
1. *grieve when needed:* it's okay to feel sad and mourn the loss. 2. *lean on support:* share your feelings with loved ones or a therapist. 3. *self-care matters:* focus on your physical and emotional well-being. 4. *stay active:* engage in enjoyable activities and hobbies. 5. *control contact:* if necessary, limit interactions with the source of pain. 6. *look ahead:* set new goals and aspirations for your future. 7. *forgive and move on:* let go of anger and resentment to progress. 8. *positive thinking:* replace negativity with self-affirming thoughts. 9. *meet new people:* socialize and build new connections. 10. *patience:* understand that healing takes time, and recovery is possible.
-
the worst part was, i felt this loss for someone that was never really mine.
-
Ah, youtube's been hearing me cry. Thank you for this, government.
-
Time is key. Whoever is reading this, I want you to know, that it gets better with time. I am writing this after 4 months and I am doing way better than I was before. You have to keep reminding yourself that you are good enough and gotta let the feelings of inadequacy not get to you.
