Breaking the Habit of Smalltalk | Omid Scheybani | TEDxKish

"Each stranger out there is actually just another friend that we haven't met yet".

For extroverts they tend to enjoy small talk by making themselves look impressive, but for introverts they abhor it, to them small talk is a sign of dishonesty.

The interest has to be genuine, if it's not silence is better.

Small talk has its place. If you break in with unorthodox questions people may get on their guard and you'll kill the conversation before its even had a chance. He's right to promote deeper conversation though. It's much more rewarding for everyone. After a couple of rounds of small talk is probably the best time to utilise his philosophy.

Omid : What makes you happy today? Taxi driver : Ten years ago today my wife got in my taxi, I took her and made her my wife. Omid : Wow! That's so special. Taxi driver : Yup, don't think anyone is still looking for her now so I'm safe. Omid : Have a wonderful anniversary.

“Predictable Superficiality” an intelligent insult.

Its one thing to ignite and intellectual conversation, its another to sound like a federal agent

i'm really interested to see what would've happened if he didn't get those cards with conversations starters at the event. my belief is that it would've been a whole different story. as a person that truly values this type of deep, meaningful conversations, i also think that, realistically, them happening is more a matter of coincidence. the best conversations i've had (from what i recall) just happened to happen with the right people, at the right place, time. he has a great point. i also despise the 'how's the weather' kinda talk. but thinking that every conversation has a high possibility of being meaningful depending on the effort that we put in sounds a little bit naive. it's not taking into account what the other person thinks at the degree it deserves. bottom line: from my experience, best conversations are not forced, they're natural and sometimes that comes from the annoying scripted who what where etc questions. perhaps i'm not getting the full picture, but that's what i believe.

Imagine someone is having a bad day and they run into this guy and he asks them deeply personal questions. Small talk is there to make sure the conditions are right before deeper conversations.

I have been in china for three years and had the chance to meet people from different cultures. From my experience people hesitate to share their true thoughts and opinions unless they trust the other person.

If a taxi man asked me how I would describe my mother I'd get out and get another taxi...

I so dig this! Just my thoughts on the topic of conversing with other people. In my ears, silence is always more beautiful than "predictable superficial" small talk. But the deeper the conversation the more it spices up life:)

I agree with this as I’m sure a lot of others do as well. My only question is, how do you engage in “authentic conversation” when in more lively social situations?

This is an amazing talk. Thank you for making me realise that it is perfectly fine to show your deep interest in another human being.

yessssss!!!! I totally agree!!! I find small talks lame, a waste of time, a drain of mental energy and totally unfulfilling

love this. It's so great

great job omid!

I've never really been a fan of smalltalk, and you perfectly articulated why. Great talk.

what a beautiful speech! And very inspirational! A curious heart to know a stranger is all you need!

The problem is that some people simply don't​ want to share that kind of information about themselves!