Opting out of children, and finding a sense of purpose

Once transition is done we all arrive at this place of," Whats next?" The excitement of transition is faded and we resume life on lives terms. For many of us it just returning to the daily routine is our path and yet many younger others it opens the doors to new opportunities. For those the sky is the limit to find a new place to leave our mark on the world. My gut tells me you will do grandly where ever you choose to go. My adopted daughter is very much in the same place as you now that her formal transition is over. Both of you need to reach high. Peace and good luck what ever you decide. Peace Jenna

As of the time of this comment your channel has over 627,000 views. You have served as an example and inspiration for thousands of people, any number of whom may have watched one of your videos when they were at their lowest point. Maybe not alone, but your videos have probably contributed to lives being saved. I know maybe that sounds hyperbolic, but I don't think it is. You've been an inspiration to me, you've been someone who shows me that not all trans girls have to obsess about being girly, and you've shown me the things that still bother you, which helps me to understand what I need to know. You've shown people how to be themselves and still transition, and you've shown what a positive effect being your true self can have on a person's life. Thank you for touching the lives of thousands of people who struggle to even maintain a sense of self in a world that wasn't built for them. Good luck finding a lot of people you know who could write that they did anything like that on their obituary.

To attempt to measure one's accomplishments I think is an impossible task. There are too many intangibles to quantify. Sure, some could say they've made tons of money or they own a huge house with exotic automobiles in their garage. But I don't think that's the type of accomplishment that you're thinking of. Humbly, I would say that the greatest accomplishment that a human can achieve would be found in the way we live our daily lives. We never know what impact our daily interactions with others have on their lives. Simply being nice to someone may inspire them to be nice to some else. Sitting down and chatting with someone who is homeless and treating them with dignity and respect can have a profound effect on both people. Desmond Tutu once said that "Everyone has a story to tell." He elaborated and said by listening to the stories of the people, he received a remarkable gift. Smiles, and laughter from victims of unspeakable violence. Be yourself, and fulfillment will be yours.

Wow what another great video. In fact all your video's are amazing. The production quality, your message and how you deliver it is wonderful. I love your stories and how you convey them. You have an ability to connect to others and to do so on such a human and personal level. I look forward to each and every video weekly. This is a legacy, one in that you are helping others who struggle daily with their gender, their journey and any doubts. Sometimes what we are looking for is right in front of us and what you are doing is so very important. You have helped me and countless others. Just look at the number of views your videos have gotten. What you are doing is so needed and of such immeasurable value to others. You should be proud of your efforts and it's real impact.. As to children, that is a tough one..I for one made the decision to support and do everything in my power to positively impact my nephews and nieces and their lives.. My nieces especially telling them, reinforcing to them that they can be and become anything they want to be and to work to counter the glass gender ceiling.. Thanks again for all you to do and say..

Commenting on an old beautiful video by my number one inspiration -- you. Of course you're on such wonderful big things now. I hope you're SOOO proud of yourself! What a life you've made! This obituary idea has been hitting me SO hard. For months now, every time I watch your beautiful, positive self, I burst into uncontrollable tears. You are so, so actualized, and I have been anything but. So many wasted years with no clue who I was... Trying to salvage something now before it's too late. I WILL -- somehow. And you will be a big reason why. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart, Charlie for all you have so bravely, beautifully, vulnerably, strongly, authentically modelled and shared.

The children opt-out is a quandary faced by more and more people in the UK and certainly not limited to trans folk. Though you might re-examine your decision to transition in that light, it is no different to cis folk who have, either by circumstance or avoidance of opportunity or conscious decision, find they are not having children. The feeling never really goes away - that what if? I try to engage with my young relations and vicariously enjoy family spirit as much as that allows. Mostly I'm actually too busy with a career I love to have time for reflection. When that doesn't work.. well that's what chocolate is for. Loving your vids and admire your energy. x

I really want to answer this question but you've got mes so lost in thought... To me you have climbed a mountain that I am just now at the foothills of. I really admire you and what you've done. But, like everyone who reaches the top of the mountain, you've have to look around and say, "What next?" I think, for me, a lot of times, it's not really about reaching the top, it's about whether or not you can make the climb. You are a remarkable woman with remarkable power. I would encourage you to look for the goal that just seems impossible, "how would I ever get that done?" and go do that. You're the kind of person who will get it done and will be happy while you toil with it. I'm 45 years old (with two children) and am just now deciding that I have the courage to make the journey you've already made. I don't know where you'll go, but I'm certain it will be remarkable. Good luck and be sure to post video mile markers for those of us toiling along behind on the path you've blazed.

What ever you chose to do in your life it will enrich you and most defiantly inspirer us all to do more with our lives, Love you xx.

I lost both of my sisters recently and it makes you so aware of how short life is.Its also made me want to achieve as much as possible in the time I have left.I always wanted to be a musician and I've really tried to get through all my music grades for the guitar.I feel pretty proud of what I've achieved so far.I would like to climb all the munros in Scotland too before I pop my clogs as well.That would be a great thing to do.

Very interesting discussion point you make. I am older and have two wonderful children. By waiting so long to transition, although it aloud me a family, it meant I missed out on being the girl and woman I’ve always known I was, although transitioning was not something you could do when I was younger. I’ve had a brilliant career as a nurse, saved hundreds of lives, taught hundreds of nurses and doctors, cared for thousands of patients and families, developed standards that are used nationwide to save children’s lives. Not too shabby for someone who doctors said would never walk. I am very proud of who I am and what I’ve achieved in life, but I’m not not ready to stop wanting to do more.

Well, Charlie here I am commenting almost 4 years after this video was published. It is brilliant. It is helpful and done fantastically. I love going through your content it has helped me personally more than I could ever repay you for. Just Thank you!!!

Well not sure what I'd write about myself yet but you have been an inspiration to me, so in my book you've made a difference in this world that you can be proud of because you're already helping others.

Like Michelle said, you already are an inspiration to a lot of people. Most people won't touch as many lives as you do with your videos. This is a legacy that will stay for a long time. For the rest, your are still pretty Young with many years ahead of you. I'm certain that you will find new ways to define yourself and fullfill your dreams.Writing a book might be a great idea. I would be the first on to stand in line to buy it when it's published. You are great at sharing your experiences. You should definitly try to write, just to see if it would feel good to you.And by the way, i'm jaleous.... i'm going out for a run tomorrow morning but it will be 2 degres Celcius outside.... No light clothing for me :):):)Thanks again for all your great videos.

Truly and honestly your helping me so much.. And I just want to say thank you X and please keep doing videos I just know your helping soo many X

First off, I love the woods shots, so beautiful. Second, you are a worthy person in your own right and I have faith you will find your way. I'm 64. (See Beatles song for instructions for that age). I made a decision in my forties to be myself and to be of value to others. That worked for me, see I am not scared of the obituary. Realistically, now that I am semi-retired (I work sometimes) I must ask myself again the question you are asking yourself, what do I do now that will be of value to me and to others.

You are still so young with all of life before you. Just step back a bit and look at already what you have achieved. Truly the world is your oyster. Follow your heart/bliss. Thanks for all that you do!

Great video in the pretty backwoods of the Uk. You have many achievements, your transition as one , the making of these videos to help others in transition and your involvement in so many other things.:D

That looks like the Forest of Dean! Forests are such great places to be, so peaceful.

D, thank you your question on sense of purpose.  I can honestly say in my life my obituary would reflect a life of purpose, a fact that on occasion that I forget.  thank you for this gift this morning.You are  any amazing intellectual  "thinking" young woman.  You are an incredibly impressive [person and your sharing on your You Tubes have been a wonderful gift to others, Trans and Cis alike.I am at the end of my career at age 64.  As a Clinical Social Worker I have a different kind of work ethic than younger social workers have and patients seem to find it what they like.  Patients have told me that my skills as a therapist have literally saved their lives.  I seem to have a special connection with young men who served in combat in Afganastan and Iraq just as I had a a connecftion with servicemen who were in combat in Vietnam when I was a social work officer in the US Army.  But I can see that it is time for me to retire in the near future because my age is robbing me of the energy that I once had and in my own eyes I can see that I cannot do what I once could..  But as the Bible says there is a time for everything and it is the season for me  to step back..I think you have unlimited potential to be many things in your life.  I think you will find a fellow whose socks you will knock off just as you do to me each time I watch one of your posts and he will give you the love and cherishing you deserve.  Youwill help your family business grow with  your skill and knowledge.  Your You Tubes will change people's lives with their messages of real information and hope.  You will be a success in our sports driving and media carers because you have endless talent and charm..  And you will be surrounded by thousands of friends on the internet  because of your genuine warmth and charm as well as many friends in day to  day life.I look forward to your posts for their optimism, their information and for the good feeling they leave me with .  If I had a bucket list of people that I would like to meet, you would be close to the top of my list.I think that your life story will be nothing short of amazing.Best,Frank Vozak from Hines, IL

the bit after transition is often the trickiest bit. we do all this just to get to the starting point. but having done all this I believe that we can do amazing things and if you doubt that you just have to look how far you have come. you are already inspiring people by making these videos and that is no small thing. there will be a hundred young trans girls who you will never know that you have helped and if you have saved even one of them then your life will be worth it. we never truly know the ripples we make in our journey through this like. for me the children thing as been replaced with working with young trans people and if I can help any of them then it will have been worth it. that and I have cats lol don't sell yourself short hun live your life and be amazing at it. the numbers of who you help don't matter the fact you tried does