What Victims of Emotional Abuse Really Need | Dr. David Hawkins
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Publicado 2021-09-22
Relationships require an equal amount of give-and-take. They are, ideally, built on genuine compromise and collaboration, not self-centered principles. For everyone involved in relationships, it is fundamental to maintain one’s individual sovereignty, dignity, and identity. And if that is not being upheld, significant changes must take place to turn the situation around.
In this video, Dr. Hawkins talks about what victims of emotional and narcissistic abuse need to understand about their situation, and how they can move forward in their healing.
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Dr. Hawkins and his team of experts offer education and professional training as well as treatment for narcissistic and emotional abuse.
🌐 WEBSITE: marriagerecoverycenter.com/
☎️ PHONE: (206) 219-0145
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About
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts about narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships. He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse.
Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship. In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, topics include covert, reactive, spiritual, secondary, relationship trauma and more.
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Todos los comentarios (21)
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As someone who’s been emotionally abused I’m tired. Tired of being blamed for someone else’s actions, not having the resources to get help, and being forced to take responsibility for the actions of the narcissist. It’s always the victim that has to take responsibility and never the perpetrator. All I want is to be left alone and preserve whatever peace I got.
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I'm not a victim period. I have been emotionally abused but I'm far from a victim. I signed up for it, even if it was in ignorance. I am taking responsibility for my own well being. He's not going to change. He doesn't have the courage to face himself. I do have the courage to face myself. He's a coward. In this moment I need to be here for myself and be my own best friend. I have strong boundaries and I asked him to leave. He left. He'll never grow. He doesn't have the capacity to be honest with himself. He's emotionally about 12 years old and he's a narcissist. Thanks for the video.
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When I used to talk to friends about my husbands -Robles, all they said was “you need to leave”. That didn’t help. One day a friend told me what my husbands problem was. He was a passive aggressive covert narcissist, I had no clue what that was so after a lot of YouTubing, I understood it wasn’t my fault and was able to make a plan and escape with my daughter. That was what I needed, I just didn’t know I needed until I was told what the problem was. Good luck to those, still stuck. It is not your fault.
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When I was trapped in abusive hell, what I needed was: A safe place to run to. Protection. A clear exit path and plan. Legal and emotional support. I was absolutely blessed with people who helped me out and back on my feet. Now I have independence and peace. No contact, ever again.
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I believe that long-term emotional abuse contributes to dementia down the line.
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People do NOT help you if you're a target of Narc abuse, NOR with the trauma, OR with the real life fall-out or recovery. Not when you're a child, not when you're a teen, not when you're an adult, not when you're elderly. In fact, most will either abandon you, or avoid you, or make all kinds of distance from you, or they'll see it as an opportunity to either manipulate you, or to turn against you along WITH the Narcissist and their group. What do I need in this day ? What I always needed. Basic and normal support from other human beings regarding what I'm dealing with, the effects on my life and my health, and as an adult, normal support for parenting my son, all things that most people take very much for granted.. None of which anyone has ever given me, save my ex's Mom just in the last few years who's ninety two years old, and who gets it because she's still dealing with it. There's only so much she can do with support, but she is there, and I'm there for her as well. Without going around and around in circles trying to maneuver out of effort, accountability, shame, or guilt, like most people I've ever known, since I was a child, have done.
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I need one person on this planet that believes me and emotionally supports me. Just one person.
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I have been married to a man who has been emotionally abusive for 19 years. He refuses to get help. He’s not going to change until he can admit to it and is ready to change. I’ve reached the point where I just want peace, and emotional recovery.
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Emotional abuse is just the shittiest thing in the world! It has taken me in the past 18 years from a wonderful mother and productive member of society to absolutely nothing. I don't need him to change at this point. I just need me to find a piece of me, just a small enough piece to stand up and move on. I just don't have any energy to even do that.
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It is absolutely horrific to be on the end of it. I had to tell my ex husband over 50 times in messages, in therapy that his emotional abuse was killing me. Not once did he stop it and neither did our therapist stop it either. When you tell others they do not believe you and then you have to deal with the defamation of character and smear campaign on top of it
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A lot of people try to help by saying “just don’t think about it.” or “it’s in the past.” I can’t just turn off my PTSD and trauma… domestic violence causes permanent damage…
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In this moment, I would like validation and honesty about the reality of what has happened. I can offer it to myself, but - we can be wounded by others and then, also healed by them. Healthy, supportive connections are key to recovery. And also walking away from these dangerous relationship situations.
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If I was asked what I need, I would say closure. I ended the relationship but still feel like I'm going insane 😢
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I feel like nobody understands that men go through this too.
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What I needed was the realize my power to no longer be a victim and help getting out of the relationship, knowing he could only change himself. 10 yrs later, he is still the same, but I have grown!! What I need now is how to ever have another relationship and trust someone else again.
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The fact is narcissistic abuse destroys your life and resources. Victims are rarely able to self support or even have the resources to self support. It's like being in a major car accident and being hospitalized for months in a coma. Victims of narcissistic abuse need first and foremost the ability to self support even before prosecution of abuse.
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My problem is that I have no money to leave. We have a 5 year old together. I have no support circle, my self esteem is in the toilet (always has been to be honest), I would have to find a way to pay bills and get my son on and off the bus (or to and from school). I don't have family that can help with that. I feel completely stuck. I have a bachelor's degree and an insurance license but I don't make enough money to live on my own so I stay here stuck. I feel so hopeless. I've also been raised with similar treatment to what my partner does to me and so this hopelessness, low self esteem and self worth is so deep seeded in me. I also only realize the treatment isn't normal when I spend some time with other people and see that they are not treated like that.
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What i need in this moment is to be loved.
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What do I need? I've needed to emotionally discharge the negative energy by being heard. Then safety, space, sleep and rest, support. Solitude for clarity.
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He/she is never going to change, People can't seem to grasp this fact and move on, once that line is crossed and you let the other person mistreat you it's over.
