Game Theory: Why Mario Kart 8 is Mario's DEADLIEST Game!

My bad: 5'11'' actually equals 180 cm...but NO FEAR! I did all the speed calculations in Standard first, then converted each result back to metric, so although I misspoke in that one moment about the height conversion, the rest of the stats should all be right! Like I said, I'm stupid imperialist scum with a dumb measurement system :)

Don't go to MatPat's house. He'll measure you.

So, let's gather up all these theories. • Mario is a communist, animal-abusing adulterer and psycopath, and presumably responsible for starting Mario Kart, a deadly kart-based sport. He would also win three bronze medals (long jump, high jump, and triple jump) at the olympic games. • Luigi is a multi-millionaire, who apparently has a strong admiration for his abusive brother, but actually hates him a lot. He also secretly loves Peach, who he eventually runs away and has a daughter with. He would win two silver medals (long jump, triple jump) and one gold medal (high jump) at the olympic games. • Peach has mental issues, and intentionally spread a fungal plague in order to create her subservient kingdom. She is also the mother of Rosalina, and is dead in at least one timeline. On top of this, she would win two gold medals (long jump, triple jump) and one silver medal (high jump) at the olympic games. • Bowser is a mentally-scarred orphan who is trying to give the koopalings the family that he never had, while also trying to combat the fungal plague which overthrew the goombas. • The toads are a race of hostile funguses who took over the home of the goombas and serve Peach, the one who let them spread. • Rosalina was born to a princess cheating on her lover and the rich brother of that princess' lover. • Wario is a 10-foot-tall farting behemoth. • Yoshi was racially profiled at the olympic games. • All of the above, plus some others, are participants in Mario Kart, the aforementioned deadly kart sport.

Nintendo: doesn't render seatbelts on the characters MatPat: I'm about to end this man's whole career

Can we just thank Matpat for giving us the fastest vehicle answers to always win? That is mad respect

Conspiracy Theory: MatPat is really just a sentient Diet Coke can underneath all that skin

"They're riding without wearing a seatbelt" TheOdd1sOut has left the chat

Collect your “being a single child isn’t as fun as it looks” ticket here

the fact he yells "NO WAY NO WAY" when he gets 5'11" as marios official height in real time is just too wholesome

Good lord... If Mario is nearly 6 feet tall, then how tall is Luigi? Peach? Bowser? Waluigi??? Out of the whole bunch, Mario is practically the shortest. What is this world of giants???

Mario characters after hitting a wall: “tis but a scratch“

Imagine how deadly any other racing game is, whether made up or real.

" "peachy's got it" ... I'm still manly" Oh, we're not doubting that. We're just gonn ashow Ollie when they're old enough to understand humour and embarrassment.

I like how matpat went insane halfway through the video after talking about the baby racers

MatPat: let’s think logically here Talks about babies driving

Not only has he made mario a lot scarier, he also made the best setup in mario kart for us! (9:25)

I’ve missed watching Game Theory. Just hearing MatPat’s voice makes me happy!

My brain: did you watch it? Me: yes... My brain: what did it cost you? Me: My childhood

I mean hey, at least when you play as a Mii the Mii is always wearing protective gear

“Wanna know what it’s like running into a wall at 100 MPH?” R.I.P Dale Earnhardt...