Your CPTSD Healing ROCKETS Forward When You Heal THIS

Anna thank you so much, this is so crystallised and clear in terms of an overarching vision of what the hell goes on with CPTSD - the actuality of what happens (both in the split second moment, and across a whole life) and how to get out of it (both in the moment and across a life). Can't wait for your book; listening to this is a healing process in itself, and that clarity, precision and unapologetic honesty gives me (who got confused as to what honesty really means as a kid) so much love, so much hope, and is such a help in stabilising my own sense of progress. Go fairy. Go CCF community 💖

Anna, Can you please make a video about struggling to "grow up" and become an independent adult? I still feel like I'm a little girl, most likely due to childhood trauma, and I struggle to work, pay bills, stick to a schedule, and take care of myself. I have this fear that I won't be able to make it on my own and I need someone to take care of me and do things for me.

I loved the quiet and calm of Mister Rogers. I knew he'd never fly into a rage like my dad. Even his soft voice was soothing. BTW, I broke up with a guy after he made fun of my book of Mister Rogers quotes. It was a final straw of disrespect

Mr Rogers was so important to me as a child. I swear so many kids grew up having ONE person telling them they were lovable just the way they were because he was on their tv.

When approached to make a decision I'm not well informed about, I get really disregulated. I've learned to say, "I'm going to give that some thought. Let me get back to you on that."

" I'm not an alcoholic but I act like one " I get that . This is a great video . Very helpful. For forty years opening bills triggers the bejesus out of me . My knees get weak and I feel like battery acid is circulating through the veins in my chest . I've never been in debt or not paid a bill but in my childhood there was screaming , crying ,violence , running to the woods etc . by the adults in the household whenever money was discussed . Going to the bank triggers me . Writing a check triggers me . Even thinking about these things triggers me . Never realized this . I just always felt shame and a sense of being messed up and not having my crap together .

Recently and at age 43 I kept calm when my father disregarded my feelings, concerned about someone else’s. It happened at night and in the next morning I calmly described what a boundary is then told him: “I have always respected you and you must respect me too.” He was lost for words, the man who emotionally and physically abused me so much as a child that his actions turned my life into a constant of low self esteem, depression, inability to keep a job for more than a year and also a string of codependent relationships so increasingly bad to the point that for past 6 years I have not been able to trust another man. Last man was a narcissist with similar traits to my father but much worse, the trauma was so intense that I’ve not been able to date again and also not been able to work. I spend most days alone but am not lonely. Recently I watched someone say in a movie: “Have a break from being yourself.” and it made me think, I’m having a break from being what everyone else expects me to be… I continue to heal and have faith that I’ll thrive without having to rely on a man — the embodiment of my father, the one who wanted me to be small forever so he’d always look like the biggest one.

Last evening my boyfriend and I got into AJ argument with another person. ]felt myself beginning to disregulate. I felt the intense anger surfacing. Using what I have learned I was able to stop myself. I remained calm and in the moment. It felt so good! Thank you for your wonderful knowledge.

Another big thank you Anna. I just got triggered, noticed it as it happened couldn't react 'properly' because it was done in front of lots of people and I had to stay there for another hour. So I stepped back, knew something was wrong, and got through the next hour in slightly fawning mode. However, internally I became a nasty, bitter man. Becoming paranoid that all the other people (they were all women) had seen that I'm an angry weak man. When I got home and meditated I felt what it was like being with a very manipulative person. It was incredibly powerful, but this person is not important to me. I have no one else in my life like her anymore (I used to surround myself with difficult people). I talked to someone else who was there and she had noticed and completely backed me up. But the power of my feelings showed me that my mother, the 'original' difficult woman , though long dead, was still limiting me. I've had to own up even more to my true feelings about her. It's been a great lesson, though at the age of 62 I'm getting slightly tired of 'learning opportunities'!

This happened to me last week. I did see/ heard the person's agressive behavior and words on the phone and simply asked if he was done yelling and he said that he was done. We hang up the phone. We exchanged polite emails that day where I pointed out his behavior being emotionally violent over the years and he agreed without apologizing in his written response to my email. Not even a hint or intention to apologize.. ... and the next day, I made the clear decision to end the 20 year long friendship because, as I explained, "I had reached my limit" of his emotional and verbal violence and I asked for no contact. It felt incredibly good!!!. My chest expanded, I felt so LIGHT! I had suffered in my body without knowing it. I was not romantic with him, just friends, and yet my action/ response was new, reasonable and effectively caring for me. It is NOT embarrassing. It's a false perception that we have that our new actions are embarrassing... What the real issue is our OWN critical judgement of ourselves. NOPE. We actually have the right to be uncomfortable to others. Not an issue at all. It's a necessity in order to build our boundaries. Others will be uncomfortable now because, to this day, it was we who were uncomfortable and they were ok abusing us. Nobody died from discomfort ( they lived, we lived) but we get much better by standing up for ourselves. It's uncomfortable in the beginning and then, when I look back I can see the entire puzzle solved. It was MY perception that I overreacted... My perception was wrong due to " new behavior" . In reality, I was totally APPROPRIATE considering the aggressive behavior of the other that I decided not to endure any longer, in the most reasonable and neutral way. I wished him well and asked for no contact. THE END. ... ( BTW, Misperception is part of PTSD).

Anna, I can't thank you enough. I have tears of relief after watching this video. Thank you for everything you do to help so many of us. Sending support from NYC 🗽

For years I had a had a massive fear of rejection -- if it seemed imminent, I would always be the one to call the shot. I'd also get really scared if it seemed like someone got too close, as it seemed like engulfment would be the next step. This summer I decided that if I got the urge to run from a friend, I would wait three days and then decide: am I sure that leaving is the best course of action? This approach has worked: I managed to keep a friend and get quite close to them without running into a lot of drama. Yes it was difficult, yes it was uncomfortable and even terrifying at times, but at least the friendship has survived!

I did it!! Today, I did it! Felt it… had little convo in my head… and just said a cordial goodbye and got off the phone!! ( this person repeats disrespectful behavior discussed many times- talking over me as I’m talking) Typically, I bring it up and then ask the person to stop the behavior. Rinse - repeat. I didn’t today. I used a boundary to protect MY emotions. It’s a big thing to catch it before it starts going to a trigger, as you’ve said! Such a window of power for us. Practice makes progress! 💪 Appreciate you, Anna!❤

I did it :) I've changed

I'm starting to realize that my trigger shows up as a blue streak of swear words over small things, such as dropping a fork or a third attempt to correct some technical issue on my computer. Now, it's a matter of stopping, realizing and taking your advice!

you can make new neural pathways by doing something over and over and what at first feels like an act will become second nature. says me who still struggles 🤣🤣

The people in my life were so disregulated that I never knew or cared when I was disregulated. They were BAD. My dad was a serial killer and a pedophile, my mom was a narcissist, brother was a pedophile and r** me, sister witnessed it and acted like I was a disgusting piece of trash, 9 brothers and sisters all narcissists, betrayed by family friends and community. They scapegoated me for my disregulation I got from them not protecting me. Pure betrayal. But I would like to start noticing when I'm disregulated. I deserve better.

My trigger is usually due to the absence of someone and i want to cling to them or i want them to give me attention. I am usually alone and it is realllllllllllllly hard to regulate. Being triggered bc of the absence is difficult. I am getting better with self regulating but being alone only exacerbates it. Im getting better though. But it sucks.

Thank you Anna, I tried to stay connected in the here and now in a very activating situation. My consciousness flees, my body freezes. What I managed to do was to remember to be an adult and that I will not let anything happen without my consent and that I will not give it. But, I could not re-regulate myself. For weeks. I was still quite confused and had a lot of inner distress and pressure when I tried to talk to clear the situation. And that although I have been using your technique for several years. It seems to me that my cptsd is afraid to show up when I write and meditate. Then my mind is blank, my tongue numb, which is a clear trigger indicator. My fears are dissociated and difficult to put on paper. I am more or less dissociated all the time. Constantly triggered, constantly stressed. I then write I am afraid my fears are hiding. I resent my dissociation because I'm afraid I won't be able to heal. Let's see when it brings something. At least I already know that I am dissociating something. All thanks to the writing. Meditating is difficult, I'm still looking for a fitting technique because I lose contact with my body and the here and now. Which triggers me because I'm afraid of making such bad decisions that cause further damage.

I was confronted by my manager about a situation yesterday….then left to stew over it. I knew instantly I was becoming dysregulated. My jaw was tight, I could feel my rage/panic in my gut. I had to say to myself out loud several times “you are dysregulated”. After a shower and going to see some friends, I was able to piece things together and face the topic again with more clarity.