I'm Actually Autistic: My Adult Autism Diagnosis Journey & How It Has Impacted My Life

I was apparently diagnosed as a kid (I'm 61). I was not ever told. Burned out at 58. Retired at 59. I was 60 when I figured it out. Thank you for sharing.

Covid gave me the opposite experience. Finally I was able to stay home and not be expected to be social and mask for the public all the time. I could even worry less about my facial expressions because I was able to cover my face w an actual mask rather than create one from the inside. It took my suspicion of autism to the next level, seeing how much less burned out I became. I finally got verification that it’s not ADHD alone, but also Autism about 2 weeks ago, also at the age of 41!

59 YO. Recently diagnosed. An ex diagnosed me years ago, and, like you, I was militantly resistant. She was right all along. The diagnosis of ASD/ADHD explains so much and comes with a bittersweet cocktail of feelings, from anger, to sadness to depression to relief. My life would have been so much easier, or not, had I know this all along. So many misstep could have been avoided. Who knows. You are one of the few Autism content creators I trust and respect. I find you very funny and relatable. When you revealed what your second-opinion said to you about always being autistic, I cried along with you. So, thank you for being you.

You made me cry. It was like you were explaining my life to the “T”. I am so deeply grateful for your honesty, visibility and candor. I was diagnosed at 44, just two weeks ago!

After a few marriages, careers, and several therapists (who never figured it out) I finally figured it out when I made a friend who was also autistic. Now my life makes sense. I thought I was crazy but I was just suffering from ASD and ADHD at the same time.

Hi Chris, i am late to the party it i just wanted to say thank you for sharing so openly. I am 48 and was diagnosed at 38 after one of my children died. Up until then I had masked my whole life after being told in 1989 I couldn’t be autistic or adhd because I was a girl with middle class parents. Please continue to share, you have a great way of communicating, it is truly appreciated by those of us who can’t string a coherent sentence together in real life.

I so appreciate your personal revelations. I'm 80, my brother turned 78 this May, and I believe he's on the autism scale (more the Asperberger's end though not with brilliance. more the neurodiversity aspect.) As an older sister, I felt estranged from my sweet brother who could not engage with me like I craved. In any event, I gave him a rough time and was dominating, mean and so sorry for my selfish behavior later on. But what did I know? We're products of the Cold War period, middle-class country kids living out of our parent's social element and family, and had no access to Kindergarten even, let alone pre-school. I was bright and very frustrated. My brother (whom I feel is autistic,) was very introverted and unsocial, but sweet-natured really. His life has not been anything extraordinary and now he's a senior with 5 yrs. into Parkinson's Disease. So on top of a lifetime of baffling non-typical behavior, we now have brain death and some new dysfunctions to deal with. fortunately, my sister has taken him into her retirement community, I believe he will thrive there and enjoy live perhaps as never before, and we don't have to worry. He's financially secure, etc., and will be taken care of with his neurodegenerative disease. I'm quite sure he will never be diagnosed and probably for now, that's that's last thing he needs, but for me, it explains a lot of his social anxieties, lack of achievement and very limited choices with his live, etc. I have to rest with all of it and try to love him as "my family", and extend myself in the best possible way to support both him and our sister for as long as he has to live. I;' at quite a distance, so it poses less of a problem. Only wish the knowledge had been there from the start so my parents could have helped me understand his "specialness" and acted more appropriately and with kindness.

You are generous to share your story with us. You will undoubtedly help many people to figure out if they are autistic, and if so, to embrace it. We all have gifts and talents to share.

I am so sorry to hear you struggled so much. Having the responsibilities you had made your Pandemic experience horrific. But, Pandemic was a relief for me. Yes I lost my income, but I suddenly had a lot of time on my hands, and relief from having to perform in the workplace and socially. I spent the time happily diving down rabbit holes and was fortunate enough to dive down the YouTube rabbit holes of symptoms of autism, CPTSD, and narcissistic behaviors. I came out of pandemic with a suitcase load of self acceptance and understanding and even improved physical health. I know who I am now. I am happy for you that you too know yourself better. Isn’t it a big relief to have a clearer path forward?

My child never showed any obvious signs until age 10 when I realized something was just off, I felt she was struggling emotionally but it wasn't just sadness. Waiting on her appointment with the neuropsychologist (7 months) I did a lot of research. I have always read self-help type of books and I have a BAS in Psychology (and family/friends with various psychological disorders and such) and I suspected Aspergers. She was diagnosed with level 1 autistic and inattentive ADHD. I am obsessed with researching, reading books and searching Youtube for people just like you that can give me as much insight as to what she may be dealing with, things you struggled the most with and what you wished people could have done to help you and be supportive so that I can do as much as I can to prevent or lessen some of her struggles. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you opening, being vulnerable and honest about your life and the struggles you overcame as well as the guidance, tips and tricks to make things smoother that you cannot change. I am eager to watch more of your content and hopefully be able to incorporate some of your suggestions.

I rejected autism in 2006. My counselor thought that I had it. I rejected having autism because as an adult woman the 5 books I read on autism didn't fit me very well. The neuropsych psychologist said I didn't have autism either. She mentioned that I could have had autism as a child but I no longer had it as an adult. She diagnosed me as having ADHD with some autistic traits. (At that time you could be diagnosed with Autism OR ADHD but not with both.) I had a lot of other psychiatric diagnoses so I forgot about autism for over 10 years. Then my case manager thought that I had autism about a year before Covid. I was not impressed but she kept nagging me and she had formerly helped do autism assessments so I listened. She suggested that I watch YouTube videos on autism. Watching women diagnosed with autism convinced me. Then I wanted an autism diagnosis. I got diagnosed at age 47 with autism level 2. I think that being a woman and having ADHD, PTSD and bipolar disorder hid the autism from most of the mental health professionals. They were looking at me through a mental health lens. That was not completely incorrect but it hid the autism.

I'm so glad I found your channel! I just found out I am autistic, and your story mirrors mine in a lot of ways, right down to running a school for neurodivergent students for TEN YEARS NEVER realizing the symptoms applied to me. I used to call my neurodivergent students Jedis to remind them how special they were. It was my autistic son, the reason I founded the school in the first place, who had to actually tell me, "Mom, you can't be Obi-wan if you're not a Jedi, too." I'm 42 just getting this diagnosis and trying to figure out how to manage this information but it is so clear that it explains EVERYTHING. Thank you so much for sharing your story!

I got diagnosed with ASD a couple months ago. I'm 45 and will be 46 in May. This has been a very rough patch in my life and I'm hoping it gets better. I always knew I was weird ever since a kid, so I started this journey on my own 2 years ago. I've had similar things happen to me. I remember having a really rough time while in kindergarten and 1st grade. I was labeled a disruptive kid. As I got older and observed other kids and watching tv, I used what I saw and mimic others around me and was able to mask pretty good. It was so good that I learned how to mask up to 4 years. Meaning that I knew my threshold was that time frame and so I knew that once that period was up, I would start to "act different" (that is what people would say). So I was in the Marine Corps. I left after my 4 year term was up. My marriage only lasted 4 years. I've left jobs after 4 years as well. I didn't know or understand back then that I was masking or even know why I was so cursed after a certain point and would start to basically meltdown and shutdown. I've been at my current job for 7 years. So I knew that i was going to have to figure something out. I was scrolling through Youtube and just randomly in 2022, saw a video of a women with ASD and her husband has adhd and their kids are the same (I think, i don't really remember) I didn't think anything of it until she started describing symptoms and certain things that she would do. They were the same as things I do that I actually thought was normal. Long story short, it took from that moment in 2022 until now for me to get properly diagnosed. I did alot of research on my own. Took a medical test for autism as well as other things. And even after everything came back, the neurologist wasn't convince. I was also told that I could be bipolar, multiple personality, etc. I ended up going through the VA (Veterans Affairs) and started therapy. I was asked what felt like a million questions and after and hour of eternal questioning, I was giving the diagnosis of ASD, ADHD, and PTSD. I thank you for sharing your story and I'm hoping for brighter days ahead. I'm not there yet, but I hope soon.

I am 56. I was diagnosed with ASD1 two weeks ago. I think that if screening for ASD was the first step toward helping people with mental health issues, and autoimmune problems we would find out how common autism really is. I think it is massively underdiagnosed. I do not know why we are not screening all children for this issue because many of us hide it so very well. I started masking as soon as I went to school. There have been studies on the autistic traits of people who end their existences. They give the families of such people the assessments they give for initial screening for autism. Between 40 and 50% of people who succeed in taking their life were found to have enough autistic traits to merit going through the diagnostic process. I went through several periods in my life where I would just crash and I would feel sick. I was assessed for lupus and I thought autoimmune disease answered the question about why I felt sick all of the time and then I would recover. Autoimmune diseases is really common for autistics. One in 5 women has an autoimmune disease. I am not saying all of those with autoimmune disorders are also autistic, but any woman with autoimmune disorder should be screened for autism. Any woman with an ED should be screened for autism. It would lead to better health outcomes if all the missing autistic people got diagnosed.

I feel like I’m drowning. I’m turning 47 and have been diagnosed with everything but autism. I would feel so much relief and closure with a proper diagnosis, but have spent so much time with doctors and no help that I have given up/ filled with doubt. Your Debby sounds like an angel! So glad she was there to help you through where I am now.

Thank you for telling your story. I really appreciative the upbeat way that you approach this. I am undiagnosed but have come to accept that I am likely autistic following months of my diagnosed son telling me, "mom, I think you're autistic, I don't think it skipped a generation." I don't have issues with making eye contact, but there are so many other things I struggle with that it helps me understand why I struggle with some of the things I do, and stop beating myself up over the things I struggle with.

I came to my autism diagnosis from my partner, suggesting that I might be autistic. He was kind of kidding, kind of not. The pandemic pushed me over the edge, though. Suddenly I couldn’t understand people talking (because of the masks). I didn’t know that for me to understand people well I have to watch their lips move. I have incredible hearing, so it’s not that. Just for some reason if I can’t see someone’s mouth I find it harder to understand them. I watched a lot of videos where people were taking about their late diagnosis and learned that in the UK there is less stigma and more of a drive to get people diagnosed. It gave me hope, and so I mustered the courage and asked my doc if I could get evaluated. It took over a year from start to finish but my diagnosing physician said he knew I was autistic the moment he first talked to me on Zoom. I am so sorry that for you it was a traumatic experience. For me, I felt such relief. I had an answer as to why I was like I am. My partner has been an incredible help like Debby is to you. My best friend too has really stepped up and been there for me. I wish everyone had the support I do. Thank you for sharing your story and your light.

I'm 67 and suspect "that I'm autistic, but not sure I want to spend $5,000-$7,000 to get diagnosed here in L.A.

diagnosed at 47. I'm still learning, I'm 55 now, and I embrace more and more my condition. With profonde acceptance, and peace. I see myself like a real minority, in a world made by non autistic, for non autistic poeple. Your work is so usefull, because it is about autism (and neurodiversity) by an autistic person. and more, you have a such good humor (from belgium)

I cried watching this. I related to way too much that I didn't expect to relate to. I am not diagnosed. About 2 years ago, I had a friend make an offhand remark about me being autistic. I thought he was just teasing/being mean. Then about 1.5 years ago, I was visiting my family and overheard my mom talking with my aunt about how she thought my little sister was autistic. I didn't think much of it. Then a year ago, I had a pretty bad anxiety attack/meltdown. My best friend helped me through it and then asked in a very serious and caring manner if I thought I could be bi-polar. Because of the manner in which he asked, I decided to look into it, and even thanked him for giving a suggestion. I researched bi-polar, but found myself only identifying with the depressive side and not the manic side. When I typed into google again, it automatically suggested "bi-polar vs autism." I found myself reading about autism and autism in females and relating a lot to what was being said. I decided to have a talk with my mom. I was scared to, but I needn't have been. The second I said "hey, remember when you were thinking my sister was autistic?" my mom took over the conversation and said, "I THINK WE ALL ARE." She proceeded to tell me about her journey in reading up on it, and that she even had a test I could take to start to get a feel for if I might have it. My mom scored as showing strong tendencies for autism, and so did my little sister. I scored a little lower than them, but it still suggested I was a good candidate for it. I had another sister who scored much much lower than all of us (which I expected she would because I knew how she would answer some of the questions), but still high enough that it said she had potential for it, too. I am here a year later, having been watching a lot of these kinds of videos and beginning to wonder if I should go for an official diagnosis. I'm struggling so much and I could really use the tools to help bring balance to my life. I'm hoping it comes sooner rather than later, but I know change will take time. Your videos are inspiring. Thank you.