The Idolatry of Marriage

“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple." - Luke 14:26

As a single Christian woman it has been EXHAUSTING in my own personal struggles with desiring marriage and having to wait or possibly remain single AND THEN being a part of Christian culture that seems to idolize marriage. On one hand us singles are told not to idolize marriage, etc etc., but all while we are constantly bombarded with sermon illustrations, ministries, jokes, and just the overall elevation of marriage within the church. Married peoole often get plugged in easier at church, recognized, and admonished for "being fruitful" and at least attempting to multiply lol I wish there were more leaders that would bring to light the actual benefits of being single and preach on ways to help singles stay away from things like porn, masturbation, and getting involved in toxic relationships, all while waiting and trying to follow Christ.

For those of you that are a little apprehensive about the video.. I think the lesson/message here was that don’t let your desires rule your life or your relationship with God. Your walk with Jesus is more important than any earthly desire we have. When our desires become idols we become disobedient to God, willing to bend our convictions, and make decisions solely based on acquiring the desire.

I dont really mind being unmarried, but why am I tortured with the desires of marriage and children. Why cant I just not want it? I am exhausted from the internal war and the pain of it all.

Excellent video. As a woman married to an amazing man of God for the past 4 years, it's a daily reminder that the purpose of marriage is to glorify God and come together in service of the kingdom. The more we put our ego to the side and allow God to show us how to act and also how to treat each other, it's wonderful. Not easy, not perfect, but wonderful because we're in alignment.

My great-grandmother, she's not my actual great-grandmother but my great-aunt. We all called her our grandmother because she's the one we grew up with.  She was never married or in a relationship. She used to say her husband is God and she has us for kids (5 grandchildren and 12 great-grandchildren). Till this day I have not seen a woman live for The Most High like she did, her entire life revolved around him. She lived a long happy and healthy life until 107 years old. She's the one who made me understand a man is not needed to be whole. As long as God is with us, it is possible to feel whole and loved

Great video. Once I stopped idolizing marriage, then God sent me my husband 25 years ago. Putting God first takes so much stress off my expectations for my spouse, and our marriage!

I have made marriage an idol in my life and i truly repent of this in Jesus name. Thank you for this great message. May God continue to bless you.

Such a great video. Children can even be idolized. As a mother and wife, I've learned how God uses my family to make me more holy than happy. Our joy must be rooted in Christ ❤

This is my first time here and I loved everything you presented! I had a moment in my mid 20s where I looked around at my life and realized I wasn’t where I THOUGHT I should be. I remember saying I wanted to be married with 2 kids by 25. I had neither a house or a husband and no kids at 26, and part of me felt behind because a lot of my peers were in that exact place in their lives. Fast forward a little bit and I was sitting one day, again, thinking about where I was in life and feeling like nothing had changed. I said a prayer that was something along the lines of, “God, whatever you have for me will be for me, and that’s what I want. If I am to be married, I’ll be married. If I am to have kids, I’ll have them. If I’m not to be married or have kids, I’m okay with that too. Help me to be at peace with whatever Your plan is for me.” And I left it at that. Another 2 or so years later I met a man, who is now my husband. We got married in August 2023. He has a son from a previous relationship and I am learning to be a step mom and I feel content with everything. God’s plans for us most of the time will NOT look like what we envision our lives to look like. We have to be careful not to miss out on what He has done us because it’s not what we think it should be. ❤

For a moment I thought you were going to expose the idolatry of weddings that spend tons of money and the vanity behind it. Praise the LORD for ALL the Scripture you shared.

Leah was so loved by God that God brought Judah forth from her, and as we know King David descends from the tribe of Judah, and, of course, ultimately our true King, Jesus descends from this tribe. This just lets us know how much God loves us and how His love for us cancels out every scar, wound, transgression, and anything else that pains us. Christ is truly the perfect husband.

This was so good and something that not enough people teach on. The Holy Spirit checked me about 3 months ago and told me that I had made idols of my marriage and husband. My spirit was so grieved because I assumed that I was honoring God by honoring my husband, but instead I had raised an altar to my marriage. In fact, I had made idols of pleasing people period, which led me deep into perfectionism and frustration as a result of never being able to be perfect. In His love and mercy, God really began removing the scales from my eyes, and He just comforted me and corrected me like only He can. For the first time ever, I truly learning that God is really more than enough, and He's so worthy of our praise and devotion.

This ministered to me as a widow coming up on the anniversary of my husband's death as well as his birthday, I've had a longing for marriage and the covering of marriage. I've felt overwhelmed, lonely, scared even at times. But this reminded me that the covering that I was seeking in man, in marriage in my husband and even considering trying to date again just so that I can have that experience again is really something that I need to be seeking in Jesus himself because He is the covering, the protection, the love and the piece/peace that I am seeking. Thank you for sharing this.

A problem I see that’s not discussed is how do we feel the love of God? If it’s really true that his love is greater, why am I on my knees begging him to remove my desire for marriage and trying to feel his presence?!?!? I feel nothing while reading scripture, nor during worship. I just want him to talk to me and I only get radio silence. 😡😡😡😡 it doesn’t help that all these churches make long standing ovations anytime someone gets engaged, marries, or has another kid. Where’s the ovation for the people honoring God in singleness for decades?? All these people say singleness is just as good as marriage (or better) but they sure don’t believe it. All these churches, offer marriage counseling groups, marriage fellowship nights, free childcare, but when you ask about singles group they’re like “huh? Nah we don’t need that”.

I’m 20 and have been idolizing marriage lately, mainly because I don’t think it’ll ever happen for me, then this video pops up at the top of my feed. God is hilarious. Thank you for your obedience <3

“And it shall be, in that day,” Says the LORD, “That you will call Me ‘My Husband,’ And no longer call Me ‘My Master,’ - Hosea 2:16

This was a good video. Difficult to hear but much needed…I question if accepting my singleness is accepting God’s will or is a lack faith or patience that I will be married one day. I have prayed that God removes the desire for marriage if it isn’t in His will. And I also question why God would place a desire on my heart if it wasn’t in His will. It’s a constant struggle. But I am grateful that I can pray to God and ask Him for comfort. And I am grateful for the scriptures you shared today. Praying for all the other women longing for marriage and children that we accept that God’s Grace is enough to fulfill those desires.

this is soo good i idolized marriage really bad last year & learned my lesson the hard way. I am starting to become content with Jesus in my single season. I’m just excited that He is coming back 💕 I long to be where He is.

Really needed this. Almost 45 with a 22 year old son, engaged twice by 25 yet have never been married. Stopped dating for years and became celibate and rededicated my life to the Lord. Recently I went through a situation that lasted nearly three years where I finally thought the one had come - I waited 42 years for him but it turned out to be a lie. Like your 49 yr old friend I'm beginning to ask the hard questions, one being, Lord do I even have a one? Because I don't know anymore, especially after this latest thing I waited so long for. I'd thought my idolization of marriage was over years ago but now I wonder. Not because of this video but because of what I just walked through and all it's revealed to me. But I know God is good and He's delivered me through so much and if it's His will to have me single for life, then I know He'll make a way and provide. Through many hard situations He's never allowed my son and I to become homeless even when it looked like we would. Unfortunately the church can kind of idolize marriage too and when I became a single parent at age 22 I know what it's like to have people try to push it on you, or ask years later if you're married before even asking how you're doing as a person. Just know if you're over 35 or 40 and not married, you're more than a marital status, you're a person made in the image of God. These types of reactions from people make us feel less adult, less womanly and generally less worthy than our married counterparts but we're not. I had to walk through forgiving these people for some of their reactions as well. Again, thank you for posting. Was definitely meant to come into my feed today as I'm not even a subscriber but after this I probably will be.