The autism assessment process ft. @PurpleElla

I think it's interesting how physical disabilities aren't questioned as much as more subtle disabilities. I'm visually impaired and still have usable vision, but no one asks me to explain why I can't see something. When I say I can't go to the store on a difficult day, I have to explain that I'll most likely shut down if I go. People are willing to accept the grey areas of physical disabilities, but not so much with autism. As I'm writing this comment, I'm realizing that the comparison is helping alleviate the imposter syndrome. If I can recognize the variability in the disability I've been aware of my whole life, then I should be willing to do the same in regards to autism.

How interesting that many of us didn't feel "that autistic" and yet during the assesment it was really clear. After the test and the diagnosis, my physician (specialized in asperger's) told me that he immediately saw I was autistic in the first few minutes I entered the room! And this is crazy considering it took 21 years to find out

It happened to my friend where he went for assessments and was told that he has significant traits but not enough to get a diagnosis. His differences have led to difficulties at work, an official diagnosis would be so useful for him.

my parents thought that i was autistic when i was little. my kindergarden teacher were worried because i didn't socialize and i wasn't interested in the activities that they proposed. my parents brought me to my gp. he diagnosed me with some sensory problems but he said that i couldnt possibily be autistic because i didn't fit the male stereotype (it was the 90s), and he thought i was just shy. 20 years later i stumble upon an article that talks about autism, and it was like my autobiography so i started reading more and found out about alexithymia. i do have it, and even my therapist noticed it. but my therapist thinks that i have alexithymia since my period of isolation in high school, and that i didn't get it when i was little. Because she thinks people who are autistic don't feel social emotions, and i cried in front of her because someone made fun of me (that's a social emotion). according to her autistic people wouldn't be bothered by such things. i do have trouble with some social emotions but not all, for example i never felt guilt or affection because those are complicated emotions. and i think some autistic people would relate, not all of course because it's a spectrum. but i can feel empathy...and sadness when someone gets hurt. the point is that no one understands me, that's what a lot of profound writers define as loneliness. i feel lonely. i also have bipolar, and i'm living a period of major depression, so i feel bad, i'm too tired to do anything. i do need a diagnosis because i find it hard to do even the simplest things in life, like getting a job or a friend, or a girlfriend. i need help with this and no one understands it.

Honestly. The lag is hilarious and kind of great. Reminds me of an actual conversation. Autistic lag should be a term we use in our convos daily. 😂 Even though it was a technical issues. The irony is killing me.

Thank you both. I am having my assessment next month and asked if they could tell me what would be asked in advance but they said no. I really struggle with answering questions on the spot, especially if I need to remember something from the past. My memory isn't great and it takes a while for me to recall anything. Also, masking often hops in and gives the expected / anticipated 'correct' answer, which frequently isn't actually correct just 'this is probably the reply that makes me look like a normal person' and I haven't even processed the question. Anyway, thank you for helping me to understand what might happen in the assessment and feel more prepared.

I watched this back in May, but just watched again because I'm heading to my assessment tomorrow. Glass of red wine in hand, cheers to both of you for clearing up my life x The psychologist was really nice on the phone (yes I had to call him!) and he asked me what I want to get out of a diagnosis. "I just want to know it's not my fault." Goodness sakes I better get a diagnosis- or it's all my fault!! I don't think I'll get much sleep tonight.

I think it's foolish to ask to bring someone who knew you in childhood. I think that should only be for children who cannot self advocate. Autism should not be determined based on what other ppl see or don't see. At the end of the day, the individual knows themselves best and autism is more so based on how you relate to and process the world NOT HOW OTHERS PERCEIVE YOU

I don't normally watch longer videos but you hooked me in the first 5 minutes. I'm 36, got an initial assessment in two weeks time. This is basically the culmination of decades of wondering what is "wrong" with me and then I read about autism and everything sort of clicked. It is a bit worrying, especially doing everything over the phone so far, because my most obvious traits are ones that lead to social awkwardness, and it does essentially come down to either being told "yes, you are autistic" or "no, you're just broken". 🤷‍♂️

Despite the tech difficulties, I really enjoyed this video. Thank you for pushing through it and giving us this content.

Unable to watch live unfortunately, so watched afterwards. The lag was frustrating but it was really lovely to see you both together as I am a follower of both your channels. As always I love the honesty. 💚

Sam and Ella....so so enjoyed that video.Identified with all the traits. Very helpful for me right now. Thank you both so much for being so real.Sending regards and best wishes.Mary

I really want to thank you two and all the people that make this "community" to have a place in the world. I was the one who understood I was autistic, but all of the people on the internet sharing their stories saved my life as much, and they keep helping healing the trauma that comes with late diagnosis and re-discovering who/how I am. For the first time in my life I don't feel like an alien - and I'm still getting used to it

The diagnosis process for adults in particular is far too difficult and inconsistent. Often the biggest hurdle is the GP for an initial referral and too many GPs have an unsympathetic, unsupportive attitude towards autism (unless it is "classic autism") and psychological conditions generally. Even after that there can be serious delays and issues with the quality of "experts" on whom the diagnosis hinges. A lot of autistic people are put off even seeking a diagnosis (maybe that's the intention?) Some get an excellent service but for too many the process is unsatisfactory.

24:45 « she’s either very still or frozen » 😂

Yo Samdy Sam and Purple Ella, this was an incredibly enlightening interview, and I am so grateful for all of your excellent work, and your tireless advocacy, on behalf of those with neurodiversity, and their neurodiverse families. You are both quite inspiring, and I thank you for your dedication and your devotion to this cause.

I finally got the courage up 2 months ago. Thankfully my mother was allowed, and encouraged, to come with me for childhood insight. Honestly I don’t think I could have gone alone. I had a 2 hour appointment (which got delayed by 2 months because of stupid corona) and then a 1 hour appointment a week later. Thankfully here in Aus I didn’t have to wait ages but that’s partially because the appointment was privately paid for (mostly). She said it and it was like a balloon got deflated. I’d been holding myself so tightly since first booking the appointment it was almost a let down. I’d almost managed to convince myself she’d come back and say “you’re picky and impatient”. The graphs at the end were so darn accurate it was eerie! Honestly you guys taking about the no-answer fear almost made me want to cry. I avoided diagnosis videos before going because I’m a champion over thinker and didn’t want to do that in this case. I’m grateful to know now I wasn’t the only one to do that. Now I’m kind of lost tbh. I don’t know where to go from here. I’m not ready to own it yet (still at the “it” stage) and would love some insight from you all about what you did next after diagnosis. Did it change anything or was it more the confirmation that was important?

I'm right in the middle of my assessment in the Netherlands (it started last Friday via video calls because of the virus), so it helped a lot to see how you both felt during, before and after the assessment. Thanks for this! ❤

Thank you for doing this live stream, it was really interesting and useful.

Has every autistic person problems with social things? Because I am very good at being a social person. I am an introvert, though. So after social events I will need some time to relax. People say that I am very good at social things. For example I can make eye contact and I can analyze others really well to a point where some say I should be a therapist, haha. But I often feel burned out at work because of the noise and suddenly I cant really follow the conversation. Things just feel too much. In general I often feel stressed and exhausted, because of easy tasks. I always need structure and a routine. As a child I thought I was lazy and stupid because I could not clean my room. It overwhelmed me everytime. Now I understand that my awareness is different