The Nobody Virus (Ep. 3) ~ Dreigonix's Fanfiction from Makai

Paper-chan, no! :C Upon first hearing this reading I had hoped your second iteration of "how dare you" would with "How dare you do this to Xion" but I guess you're going through your own character event horizon. But. Just know. I am still, so many years later, low-key infuriated by the entire treatment of Xion's arc throughout this fic. (KH as a franchise isn't the be-all-end-all of game characterization (most of the cast is there to be action/defensive party members, quest-NPCs, or boss fights) but they are legit fun to play games with characters you can be compelled by and care for, so being unable to hop over that low lying bar is quite the feat in and of itself. Seriously, having read and commented on this whole fic there is S U C H a small amount I and my sister can say we truthfully enjoyed without that fun then being sucked away from us. Also, may I just express my love for that giant "WHO?" over who McLean is/was because that is an all encompassing mood for this fic. 'Here's a name; wait, that's important why?' (For backstory for thelectureroom/heartless-fics postings, we among ourselves just started calling this character McLeach because we could imagine him, as a one-note bad guy, saying "I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing!") And ANOTHER also that really needs saying, what was even that set-up to human Donald and Goofy appearing in the alley? Sora and co hear crashes, yells, cursing; but when they go outside there is just two guys, alone of any other presence, that are immediately recognized as their buddies so it turns out there was no reason for tension to begin with. If they weren't a threat, what was the point of the noises outside that preceded this whole introduction? A simple fix here would be to quickly add a line of two unconscious bodies in the alley, so Sora physically sees a threat has already been dealt with and emotionally feels threatened by the guys that ended that offscreen fight, and then we can continue on with the normal "Ah no, turns out these guys are fine, there's no trouble here, we're all friends, why were you even worried you stupid new kid." A single line could fix so many of the small issues that pile up in this better-than-thou fic and it could maybe one day be good.

Is this a music vid or wut?