Miscellaneous Myths: Hades and Persephone

It’s kinda funny that Ares, the god everyone hates, is the only one who doesn’t have any myths about being horrible to women. He was even the father of the Amazons.

"He also takes a moment to ask Persephone not to be sad. As his wife, she'll be a queen of queens, ruler of the dead, and highest among the goddesses, and meanwhile, he will work to be the best husband he can be for her." awwww

Not that this entire video isn’t astoundingly captivating, but describing Hades as “the firstborn son of Cronus. The world is his by birth rite and though there is a delay, all become his subject eventually” is so metal and I love it

I have a headcanon that immediately after Hades kidnapped Persephone, he was SUPER awkward. Like, “Ummm… Hi? I’m Hades… You’re very pretty… Wanna meet my dog?”

“Don’t speak her name, you might get her attention” is a terrifying concept.

Fun fact: Ares is the only god with no rape stories. In fact he killed Poseidon’S son for raping is daughter.

I’m running a Greek mythology d&d campaign where Persephone is the main villain. In it she’s trying to kill Zeus so Hades will become the new king. Not for power, but because she loves Hades and thinks he would be a much better king of the gods that Zeus(which he would probably. He shows mercy to mortals. He does his duty. And HE DOESNT FUCK EVERY WOMAN HE SEES. He is faithful to Persephone)

I like to imagine that the Hades/Persephone myth is what started the custom of leaving flowers at graves. Basically, an offering to the former flower/spring goddess, and current queen of the underworld, to earn her husband's favor. Or maybe, they're offerings made to Hades so he can then give them to Persephone as gifts.

Speaking of Hades and Persephone not cheating on each other, a nymph once tried to seduce Hades, but was squashed into the dirt by Persephone. That nymph was named Minthe, and the plant she became is mint.

Hades: * is the only Greek deity that loves his wife, doesn’t cheat, does gummy is job well and doesn’t go out of his way to cause drama, and is the only one that doesn’t rape mortal women for no reason* The rest of the pantheon: weird but okay Modern day peeps: SATAN

When you remember that Demeter and Hades are siblings, this makes the Helios pitch hilarious to me. Helios: "Oh, he's a great guy, king of the Underworld. She could do worse." Demeter: "😐 You're really going to stand there and dictate MY BROTHER'S resume to me?"

Honestly, I like to think that Hades only even kidnapped Persephone in the first place because he literally had NO IDEA how to actually court someone. It's important to realize that Hades was the firstborn of Kronos' children, and he spent his entire childhood isolated in Kronos' guts with only his siblings (besides Zeus) for company. Meaning that Hades was actually incredibly socially stunted and he never learned how to properly engage in romance. This would explain why Hades abducts her, which is usually a sign of cruelty, yet he is easily the best husband out of all the Greek gods. Hades definitely knows how to treat Persephone right once they become a couple (shower her with gifts, offering her the jewels and gems of the underworld, making her his equal queen in ruling the place), but nobody ever taught him how courtship and dating is supposed to work, so he ended up skipping past the "Hey, wanna go out sometime?" phase and straight to the "Let's rule the underworld together for eternity!" phase. Honestly, Hades in Greek mythology canon is actually more tragic than anything else. Hades spent his entire childhood in the dark and stinky pits of Kronos' stomach. Then, when Hades finally escapes and helps Zeus to defeat Kronos and the Titans, Hades ends up spending even more centuries in the dark and lonely pits of the underworld while his brothers get to frolic and screw around in the bright and shiny Olympus, and he only had the Furies/Erinyes and Cerberus for company down there. Whether Persephone was an innocent uwu flower girl or a terrifying queen of darkness, she was probably the first person to make Hades experience love for the first time and gave light to his lonely dreary life (unlike the shallow flings that the other gods get into). So, it's completely understandable that the first time Hades meets someone who makes him feel this way after centuries of cold loneliness, his lack of education about romance leads him to the most direct and simple path possible: kidnap, then marriage, then side-by-side ruling. Even the pomegranate fits into this, because it could easily be Hades' refusal to go back to a lonely and dark existence in favor of the love-filled warmth that only Persephone can bring him.

Ahhh Hades. The God of Minding His Own Business.

"There was almost no difference between the stock pose for "Marriage" and the stock pose for "Kidnapping"." o no

Something clicked when I saw the Underworld referred to as the "House Of Hades", and now I need a fantasy story where Hades IS the Underworld and Persephone is its caretaker

Things to remember: 1) Hades was the OG Malewife 2) Persephone was a Pastel Flower Queen and a Lovecraftian Goddess all at once, we have to stan 3) Ancient Greece wrote the OG My Little Pony fanfics but with Greek gods

Hades has the only stable relationship and named his three headed dog Spot How can you hate this guy?

You can tell Persephone was a big frickin' deal because when they had to give her a husband, they gave her the only Olympian who drinks Respect Women Juice.

So, in conclusion: Hades & Persephone are mythology’s Gomez & Morticia Addams 🖤

It’s probably worth noting that gods of the harvest (like Demeter and Persephone) are often very closely linked to gods of the dead, because the harvest is really just a sacred cycle of death and rebirth.