What's the DUMBEST but also 100% SERIOUS thing someone ever Said to You? - Reddit Podcast

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I absolutely love the idea of an “F off” pass once a year. The customer who received it should accordingly be banned from the premises for a year as a punishment.

I told a telemarketer that I couldn't speak English. She apologized and hung up.

My friend looked at me dead serious and said "How do you do uppercase numbers??". I started crying I was laughing so hard and when they realized they fell on the floor and started rolling around from pure embarrassment. we had a good laugh out of that one 😭

About 5 years ago, I saw my friend and his sister walking down the street outside my house, and we got chatting. It was a very hot day, so I invited them in for a cold drink. When I got the ice cube tray out to ice the drinks, my friend's sister said "How do you cut the ice into such smooth cubes to fit in the tray?". Thinking she was joking, I laughed. But she was dead serious. So I said, in disbelief that I was actually having to explain this to a grown adult, "You pour liquid water into the tray and then freeze it". She looked at me like I was speaking an alien language. 10 minutes of agonised explanation later, the truth finally comes out. This woman, in her mid 20s, has absolutely no idea that ice is, in fact, frozen water!

In my high school physics class, the teacher showed a short film where "Isaac Newton" was explaining his three laws. After the film, one girl asked the teacher how, if Isaac Newton had lived in the early 18'th century, he could be in a movie, since movies didn't get invented until 200 years later. The teacher had to spend the next 15 minutes trying to explain this to her, while the rest of us were head down on our desks laughing.

I work at a phone store and we get people coming in all the time with water damaged phones. I had a guy yelling at me mad saying “how dare you assume I damaged my phone with water, I’m from the military” where I replied “thank you for your service but I don’t know why that matters in this context” and then I showed him that when you moved his phone you saw the water move.

"Jupiter is bigger than the sun. Obviously."

My brain hurts from all the dumb.

For me it was one of my buddies who said "Half sister, step-sister, same thing" I laughed soooo hard

Have shared this story before and will undoubtedly will share it again because it was the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. At the time Australia was going through a huge fire season as the land was parched due to drought, lives and property had been lost. Driving down a road flanked by the railway line on one side and a natural bushland area on the other which had high, barb wire topped fencing, I noticed a small amount of smoke curling up among the trees, then saw flames. Having no phone I rushed to nearby shops , less than a minute away to call the fire brigade, deciding to buy some lunch when I was there. Within minutes a fire truck screamed by, someone wondered where they were going so I mentioned that I had called them to a fire in the bush area. I heard a scoff behind me, a woman said she had seen the fire from the train and that it was only a small one so why would I waste the fire dept’s time by reporting it. Her reasoning was that I should have waited until it was bigger before reporting it so the fire dept had something worth their time. Called her an idiot, that area backed onto a school and houses, it didn’t matter how small a fire was, a single match can burn down a house. Drove by a few minutes later, the firemen had put the fire out using hand tools, the truck was still fully equipped to battle any emergency situations.

"you can't fly to korea, it's an island" alone gave me two strokes

After spending years studying WWII, the brutality of nazi Germany and the final solution, we even met two concentration camp survivors a friend asked: "the nazis... did they hit people?" The history teacher looked ready to flung himself out of the window.

There are people who are allergic to raw peanuts but not to all processed peanuts depending on how it's processed. Peanut allergies are from 3 proteins in the nuts and some people are only allergic to one or two of these. These proteins can be altered during the production of peanuts into something a bit different like a butter, oil, etc. which then makes it safe to eat for some people with raw peanut allergies. So these people may not have been lying.

Talking to my son about the pyramids, I said Africa, several times, to which my wife said my daughter was laughing at me, saying its Egypt not Africa. I then had to explain Egypt was in Africa and even Egypt doesn't have the most pyramids in the world.

Someone in my Humane Letters (History + Literature) class in high school a few years ago asked... Does an Assault Rifle shoot salt...unironically. I don't think I've ever heard a dumber question, it was...the funniest shit ever lmfao

Mom used to think you had to fill your tires only at the gas station, where something called "air water" was put in it. Dad pointed out you can use an air compressor, and that there is no such thing as air water (the sign said air/water, as in air OR water). She was at least 30

I drove for a trucking company that had a large black cat as a logo, a panther. We pulled into a truck stop in Arkansas and was asked if we really hauled live panthers. I replied that, indeed, we did. Although we hadn’t figured out how to keep them alive in the back of the truck and then walked away.

I told a lady in Georgia that I’m from the nursery capital of the world and she said with a straight face you mean babies..I said or plants 😂😂😂😂

An office lady asked me to move a safe. I told her I couldn't because it weighed 750 kg. She asked me to do it anyway. I didn't bother answering. And btw, PHD really means permanent head damage.