How to find The One: John Gottman, Ph.D. & Julie Gottman, Ph.D. | mbg Podcast
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Publicado 2024-02-12
“If you're dealing with an issue, don't describe your partner. Describe yourself, your feelings, and your needs," Julie says. In this episode, Julie, John, and Jason discuss how to know if your partner is long-term material, plus:
00:00 The top ingredients for a loving relationship
02:34 The three main conflict styles
09:16 The “bomb drop” fight
11:17 What to do if you feel “flooded” during a fight
16:17 The “shallows” fight
19:20 How to resolve “the standoff”
28:43 How couples can rebuild their relationship post-affair
34:20 What causes affairs?
35:56 The Gottmans’ top 3 green flags in a relationship
43:01 How to know if you’ve found The One
46:02 What causes unhappy marriages?
50:51 How to know if you’re ready for a serious relationship
54:18 The Gottmans’ No. 1 tip for successful relationships
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Todos los comentarios (21)
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the long game clears clutter, infuses joy, and welcomes everyone (not just biohacking bros) into the longevity conversation: bit.ly/3WO6OF3
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This is the second podcast I watch for them. John always looks at his wife when she speaks. Amazing.
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This should be taught in high school
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These Two are national treasures.. protect them at all costs❤🙏🏽❤️
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Brilliant couple. Decades of scientific research on thousands of couples. Very wise.
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They are happily together because one speaks and one listens 😂❤.
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In an abusive situation the victim doesn’t find a 5:1 ratio. Victims can use the soft start up method and this doesn’t change the mentality of the abuser. Their advice can work in situations in which both parties are genuine and have normal levels of conscience. Abusers wont play by these fair rules and these healthy protocols.
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I love the way you two lean into and listen and pay attention to each other. You model the work!👌
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Anyone notice how attuned John is as Julie speaks? :)
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I think we learn, heal and understand ourselves much better when we are in relationships, even though they don't last. Then to be maybe ready for a lasting relationship, or maybe we choose to live alone.
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Thanks for not writing off partners with complex trauma. This is my experience as well amen!❤
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EXACTLY... how reliable are we at 25...? Absolutely not equipped or ready to take on someone else's burdens and problems and support them and understand them. We should be fully grown and know ourselves before we take on a relationship
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My partner and I both suffered big T and trigger each other in the worst way. For two years we were in a horribly toxic abusive relationship, but videos like this and a dedication to growth and betterment we have grown so much and are on a much healthier path now. If it weren't for my codependency, there is no way we would have survived that stage.
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During a timeout, I pray & process my feelings while I'm in that emotional state because that's the best time to figure out what triggered me & why. Step-by-step, I break it down, and then I'm able to come to a much better conclusion. ❤🙏
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I love these people. They are doing so much for others!
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Gorgeous couple. I just love how they work together and also share with us. Will definitely look for the book.
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This darling couple has such heartfelt and healthy energy, in such a healing maternal and paternal way..makes me wish they were my mom and dad ❤ if parents were more like this wow what a gift life would be.
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I"m recovering from a break up with a partner who had more big T trauma than he could process. He was on track to be a great partner and step dad, but we couldn't clear the hurdle of his trauma. It cut us both, very deeply, to realize there was no path forward for us. If only he had been open to talking with someone like Dr. Julie!
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I read all of their life changing books multiple times and I'm so excited they have a new one! What a gift ❤️
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“What is your ideal dream Here?” I love that
