A Deep Dive Into The 1950s Dating Culture

I joke about how crap the dating culture is nowadays then I look back to the 50’s and 1800’s social seasons and realise that it’s always been a shitshow.

I asked my mom how she and my dad met. She worked as a “soda jerk” at an ice cream shop. She said when my dad came to the shop she used to give him extra ice cream in his ice cream sodas and sundaes. What she didn’t know at first was that he had to take a train and two buses to come to the shop.

My grandma told me all about dating culture in the late 40s. It’s wild. Her parents had so many dating rules and she was the most popular girl in school. She dated so many boys. She was booked up for MONTHS. All with different boys. She said casual dating was very normal. She also proposed to my grandpa! She was awesome.

By sounds of it, dating wasn't necessarily romantic, it was just two of the opposite sex going to a social event together.

Jesus Christ the girl with the several boyfriends gave me whiplash. Those alpha bros always wish they had a traditional woman from the 50s. They would have a heart attack knowing how some of them were like that girl. Idk how she did it though

My grandmother's favorite story is telling me how back in high school, she used to have a kitchen drawer full of class rings and would slip on the right one before each date. She told me she would famously make plans with different people for the same night, and whomever showed up first was who she went with. One night apparently she was sneaking in the back door from an early date for another one while my great grandmother had to entertain the boy waiting in the parlor. She said "Hank, I'm so sorry. Barbara must be running late" and he responded "ma'am, my name is Joseph".

Dear Diary, Jack is dating Hal (they were roommates).

My mom was a teen in the 50s in the US and described dating similarly, but there is a bit of missing context: Friendships were exclusively within the same gender. So dates were the only time boys and girls really got to know each other. My mom thought it was cool that my circle of friends had a mix of girls and boys, and I think she enjoyed the novelty of watching a teenage girl consider boys as something other than potential dates.

Just a funny little aside: I work at a middle school and apparently the current version of “getting pinned” is wearing your girlfriends scrunchie on your wrist. It’s actually really cute to see the boys in the hall proudly sporting the scrunchie

The one thing those books didnt address was how much the option for social activities was so limited to dates. So if you were a girl who was shy, or had strict parents, or didnt meet the beauty standards of the time... well then, you spent an awful lot of time alone on the weekends. I think part of the reason girls dated around so much was bc it was one of the only options for socializing and leaving the house.

I had also read that in the US, it was up to the girl to stop the boy from going "too far". The idea was that boys were naturally sexual and girls had the responsibility of setting limits. Then when WWII came around, and young men were sent to the UK, American dating culture clashed with British dating culture. British girls expected that boys who "tried something" meant the boy was in love and wanted to marry them. American men who dated British girls were surprised at how "easy" they were! So there were many situations where Amercian boys tried something and the British girl didn't stop them and then were shocked when the Yank wasn't making marriage plans with them!

I'm glad I wasn't a teenager in the 1950s because I sure as hell wouldn't have the energy for all that

So basically, GREASE isnt even that unrealistic.

Suddenly Archie Comics make more sense.

We can all agree that Dick Gunn was the obvious choice

I once asked my grandma how she met my grandpa. She answered something along the lines of "A friend set us up, but I was a little worried, because I had another date earlier that day."

My God. I got exhausted just listening to that diary. I feel like the diary helped her organize all these dudes 😂

This is my grandmother's dating time period. She was a hussy, unapologetic, and complicated. I miss her dearly. She had multiple boyfriends at her nursing home where she eventually passed. ❤

Honestly, I think for teenagers it is fine to date multiple people, in the sense of never going steady. Instead, I think it's nice to go and do activities with people you like, without the weird pressure of having to commit. I think it forces teens to act more adult and mature. I wish I hadn’t had the pressure to go steady with people after one or two dates.

My Dad (born 1925) told me there were just as many premarital pregnancies as today, but the difference was, they got married. Lots or premature firstborns. Also, dating was an event - you didn't "hang out," you actually did something, like movie or a meal or a picnic. Girls were divided into good girls and otherwise ... if you wanted to be prime marriage material, you said no and took it slow. The risk of pregnancy was very real, and could be devastating for the girl's future and reputation, pretty much forever, if marriage didn't occur before the child was born.