Is the cure for loneliness hiding in your closet? | Mollie Kaye | TEDxSurrey

I did an experiment based on this talk. Every day, I ride my bicycle around my neighborhood. If someone else is out, I almost always have to be the first to say something. However, after hearing this talk, I wore a large flower in my hair while bicycling, and almost every single person I saw said ‘good morning’ to me first. Amazing!

"We are terrified to be noticed, but dying to be seen" Such straightforward yet unheeded thing. 👏🏻

I supervised covid test sites during the pandemic. I interacted with thousands of people but made very few meaningful connections because I was a ghostly apparition covered from head to toe with PPE. Then I broke my glasses. I normally go for practical eyewear but when I saw a pair of bright, rainbow colored frames I had to buy them. I needed some fun and color in my life after a crushing year filled with heavy loss. The difference those glasses made was life changing. Even in the PPE I stood out and became 'the lady with the glasses.' Worried faces brightened up when they saw me and conversations about things other than covid and illness became more common. Now bright, fun eyewear is my signature look. I stand out and I interact with my fellow humans more than ever.

I loved your Ted talk. I’m 82 and often seniors feel unheard and unseen. I started a You Tube channel, Fashionista At 80 as a diversion to get me through the loss of my spouse. The idea was to show women of a certain age how to present themselves in a positive way so that they are seen and heard. All of this done with minimal expense because the items were thrifted. Saving money and the planet. I’ve taken a break from YT but u r encouraging me to get back to it. Thanks so much.

“YOU are the special occasion. Dress for it!” Great line!

Because of my high risk as a pneumonia/sepsis survivor with damaged lungs, I was on medical lockdown for the first 2.5 years of the pandemic and never went out or saw anyone. It was terrible, I got crazy with online shopping just to give me something to look forward to, opening packages, a few times a week! I spent the first two months at home in loungewear, with no makeup, jewelry, etc., but it just made me feel much worse. As soon as I went back to dressing better each day, even though I never saw anyone, it lifted my spirits tremendously. Plus, I have lots of beautiful, as well as comfortable, clothes, I might as well enjoy wearing them every day, whatever I’m doing. Now I only wear very casual clothes for exercising, I really don’t feel like me in them. Don’t save your best clothes for special occasions that might never come, use and enjoy them, even if alone at home! I’m going to wear my white silk dress today.

Part self care, part public service. This is an excellent talk, thank you!

A cashier at my grocery store is an older lady who always wears a colorful blazer with a matching hat and brooch. She looks fabulous and she makes me smile in the morning before I head into work.

I think the moral of the story here is not “dress better”, but rather “embrace your inner weirdo”. I have a little dog that I take everywhere with me, and she has definitely improved my social life for much the same reason.

The message is: BE KIND AND BRAVE ENOUGH TO PEOPLE BY GIVING FELLOW STRANGERS AN EXCUSE TO START A CONVERSATION WITH YOU.

I love it! I'm a California girl living in New England and have never felt so isolated in my life. It's not easy to make friends. I think I will, besides talking a strangers, make myself feel great by dressing up. Thank you so so much for encouraging me.

"I made myself disappear, & nobody ever found me". Pathos! Touched my heart.

I went to a vintage fair recently and saw a woman dressed in the most amazing 40s get-up I had ever seen, I was mesmerised! I wish I had been brave enough to tell her how awesome I thought she looked!

My mother had many illness including cancer, after a fall she became less mobile so unable to get out much, but she dressed everyday as if the Queen was coming to tea. Some days she was alone all day but she still made an effort to look good. She was amazing.

As someone who has bespoke hawaiian shirts, I can confirm that wearing something unusual gives you a way to start small-talk.

As a teacher who taught Voc Ed to “America’s Indigent”, whenever they were sent on a job interview, I made them dress nicely; going over the top if they wanted to. You wouldn’t believe the emotional and psychological change they underwent. It was as if they needed that to jumpstart their positive thinking.

The notion that I am blocking my own potential social interactions because I am not signalling that I am open to interaction with not just friends and family but strangers has really got me thinking.

I get noticed, so I try to go under the radar , people just feel your energy, but then they seem to want to dim my energy , so at 71 I have decided that the best way to shine is to shine around strangers, I don't get involved with groups, they drain my energy, yet going out in public for a couple of hours smiling at people is uplifting, as long as I have enough time recharging on my own ( I’m 71 )

Yup. I was always too introverted. Now, in my older years I just talk to strangers all the time and I’m happier and more optimistic. People usually respond in a positive way and they are a light in my day. I’ve let my wavy fuzzy white hair go wild, so I think that’s my bridge. And I smile a lot.

"YOU are the special occasion. Dress for it." Oh my gosh, who is this rock star, diva queen badass ? Mollie Kaye, you are a movie star dancing queen. This talk made my day. 🧚‍♀ 💃 👩‍🎤 🧝‍♀ 👸