Heroes of the 41st Millennium - Commissar Ciaphas Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM

THANKS to OfficioAudiorum for the disgustingly good music in this video. Please, I insist, go and check his stuff out and ABSORB the atmospheric 40k music into your BRAIN. youtube.com/user/OfficioAudiorum And, OF COURSE, big thanks to the boy himself, Takahata, who decided to actually spend time creating this script. I am happy to have been given the chance to release an essay touching on the destructive condition of acute imposter syndrome on youtube.com/. You truly are Hero of the Imperium. ++ THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: No this is not EP29, it's still in the works, am working on the Magnus scenes right now ++

"god I am such a piece of shit!" -Cain while strangling a hive tyrant to death to save a baby

Ciaphas Cain: the walking personification of "Task Failed Successfully"

The fact that this man died of old age in the 40k universe

Commissar Cain even made up a monologue about being a fraud to help that Space Marine open up to others about his troubles. Truly, a hero of the Imperium.

regular virgin Commissar: shot his owned soldier to raise troop morale Commissar Ciaphas the Chad: Shot himself, missed and hit the enemy general instead, raise troop morale

Calgar: mood kindred? ULTRA DEPRESSION CURED

I love the bit in one of the books where Cain and his men are making an almost certain last stand, and Cain ponders how his men can fight so well knowing they're almost certain to die. Any sane soldiers would break ranks and run for it, or curl into a ball and cry. Yet they fight on as fearlessly as if victory was a sure thing. He never even considered that they were fighting that hard because HE WAS THERE WITH THEM

Calgar being the one to witness Cain's breakdown is just another stroke of the man's incredible luck in surviving impossible situations. Of all the possible space marines to witness his self-deprecation and incredible imposter syndrome, it was the one who knew exactly what he was going through.

Bruva Alfabusa when depicting other 40K characters: grossly exaggerate them for comedic effect. Bruva Alfabusa when depicting Cain: 100% canon compliant.

A reminder, The Emperor is aware of Cain and thinks he is a sensible individual and likes him

This man died of Old Age in 40K, survived battle against literally every enemy faction, won a 1v1 against a traitor space marine and perhaps most impressively got laid with an inquisitor. Truly a legend.

The way Cain just instantly accepts that Calgar is also a 9th tier bullshitter and breaks down in his arms is so perfect, I really wanna see this dynamic more in future,

And let's not forget how he bravely screamed like a little girl while running to make himself seem like an easy target and bring more attention on himself. Truly heroic.

I like the little touch of Cain being worried that his failures will actually hurt other people. The poor bastard.

My only issue with this video is the fact that Jurgen would absolutely make an astartes chapter commander wait outside the office in the blank stank until Cain was ready for him.

Eavesdropping Guardsmen: "Did you hear that?" "Oh, ABSOLUTELY. We need to tell everyone..." "...that Cain called a Chaptermaster POS and got declared his kindred for that honesty!"

The Cycle of Cain's Life: -is assigned to a dangerous front -triumphs over enemy while only trying to save his own ass. -can never tell anyone all his 'heroics' were actually selfserving attempts to save his own skin or he'll be executed for cowardice, so accepts mantle of hero reputation. -uses success accolade to quietly reassign himself to a world/assignment that seems safe and he can reasonably expect to while away the rest of his lifetime of service drinking amasec and playing regicide. -formerly safe world/easy assignment unexpectedly becomes dangerous front, and due to his reputation, everybody turns to him. -repeat cycle. This cycle continued EVEN AFTER HE RETIRED.

The joke of this episode is, there is no joke. That's literally how Cain and others around him behave. Humblest hero=coward=brave man of the Imperium.

Even in death. Cain is still written as "Active". And yes he is dead. He died of old age. Full military honors. Yet Cain has "died" so many times and turns out he have lived. The Imperium given up writing him "Killed in Action".