Exploring a Widow's Guide to Thriving w/ Carolyn Moor

Cheers to Finding Purpose and Meaning! There's barely anything I do today that isn't because Keith loved me. Being his wife and now his widow has shaped every part of my life. I carry his love with me always. Maria, I'm so glad you connected with Carolyn at Invest In Women! When I saw you, I reached out to your One Tree Hill colleague (and now fellow widow), only to find out you never met! That shows what I know about TV shows! Cheers to finding purpose, meaning, and new connections. Let's keep supporting women on this journey. A few things: financial: Estate documents depend on your needs and the state in which you live. Every state is different (hence, lawyers must pass the bar exam in each state to practice law in different states). Probate is inexpensive and easy in my home state. This is not true for many states. In some states, an average or even very modest "estate" needs (needs meaning it is more cost-effective and simpler) a trust. It really depends. TOD for non-cash assets: home, stocks, bonds, and funds aren't sold, but titling is "transferred on death" (TOD). Payable on Death (POD) can be added to bank accounts; cash can be paid out from the account to a person. Both. TOD & POD can be changed as easily as a beneficiary on life insurance or retirement accounts, and like beneficiary designations, they serve to transfer assets outside of probate. Life Insurance replaces future income loss in your "untimely" death. If you have anyone dependent on your ability to earn income, then you need life insurance. Types of Policies are Term and Permanent: Term Life Insurance covers you for a specific period (10, 15, 20, 25, or 30 years). This is where I highlight that quoted “untimely.” The term policy covers you until you build up a nest egg large enough to support your dependents without a policy. Term is more cost-effective, which allows you to build a nest egg over time. Honestly, the goal is to outlive your life insurance, much like hoping never having a need to use any insurance policy. Permanent Life Insurance covers your entire life and includes policies like Universal Life (UL), Variable Universal Life (VUL), and Whole Life. These are generally more expensive but provide lifelong coverage. These policies pay out whether your death is “untimely” or you live to retire and even beyond normal life expectancy. Changes in life may mean reevaluating the coverage amount and the period or "term" of a policy. When Keith died, I got another 20-year term, which, in every financial professional opinion, would mean I insured/ensured my children would have excess funds. In my professional experience, I am normal in doing so... I have found many widows want to over-insure, and it seems "normal" or at least common amongst the last parent standing (widow or widower). Again, myself included. When I was questioned by my CFP, at the time (yes, I am also one of many widows -70% to be exact who fire their financial advisor when becoming widowed): He asked, "Do you want your kids to be rich because you die." Me: "Yes, I do. I don't want them to think twice about taking my fictitious grandchildren to Disney World." A bigger part of me was concerned about leaving an inheritance for them and not being there to have conversations when they went to buy their first home... invest in a business... Why was I concerned? I have a salient moment in conversation with my son that I had when his dad was dying- for another time... Anyway, a main piece (going the extra mile) of financial planning often overlooked are the real human needs- what survivors wish for, like the letter of Intent, a non-legally binding estate tool that is from you and gives your beneficiaries knowledge, direction, hope to better understand you... It's painful and purposeful to let those you love know what you intended by leaving them and what you have planned and hope for their future. These are pieces that go beyond the will and step into legacy. Not necessarily a legacy of assets or money but a legacy of love. A final gift of your love to them. I last updated my Letter of Intent in 2022. My children are 24 and 28. I will update it again this fall when the youngest is 25, the magical age my trust lists a first disbursement without the trustee's oversight. Key Person Life Policies: If you own a business, a key person life policy can ensure the business continues smoothly in your absence. The policy pays the business, which can then use the proceeds to compensate your heirs for your share, allowing the business to continue without disruption. For example, I die, and my business is worth $2M, of which I own half, so my business holds a life policy of $1.5M payable to the business. When I die, $1M goes to my estate: $500,000 to each of my two children for my interest in the business (as an asset I partially owned). The remaining $500k allows for coverage for the business to hire a new partner or pay for the candidate search and new income to replace me and my work so the business can go on without me (and without my children having ownership). The amounts must be approved by an insurance company and then you have a buy-sell agreement with the business partner. DATING Man, people can be so unkind and unsupportive. From my experience as a widow, I’ve seen that many widows are terrified about dating again and worry about how it will impact their children, in-laws, and friends. It’s incredibly complex, but it’s natural to want to partner again. Some jump back in soon, while others, like my grandmothers, never do. When thinking about dating again, one key thing to remember is that our marriage didn’t end by choice. Most people just want you to move on. Dating again soon after my husband died should be viewed as a tribute to how loved I was in my marriage. I wanted what I lost – who wouldn’t? I want to be partnered, and experience love for and from a man like Keith. Most of us seek a life partner, and some of us are lucky enough to have had a wonderful person in our lives. My marriage didn’t end by choice, and I want that partnership to continue. It’s been ten years, and I’ve yet to find anyone with whom I can share fun, friendship, and love like I had with Keith. When I find someone, it will come with the understanding that I need a wise man to know and accept that I will always love and honor Keith. My "dear, future husband" will be wise enough to know that if I choose him, I will honor him the same way. And I hope he would do the same for me if I were to die first and he needed to find love again in his lifetime.

My father only has a will, and he thinks that that is sufficient. He assumes that everything that he has in the will is going to run smoothly. And I said i'm pretty sure you need to have a trust, or you are going to find everything going through probate even though your will designates your wishes.""" He said no I went to sing your legal and they helped me out with all of this and he doesn't need any other safety neck or blankets regarding because future wishes upon his death. I'm trying to convince him

Maria! Where can I find the glasses that you are wearing?!!!