Growing Up Undiagnosed Autistic and Overweight

Oh God I relate so much to the doctors brushing off health issues in favour of "well you're fat" but some of it is so ridiculous that people who've never experienced it genuinely don't believe it's true. I went to the GP with anxiety and got told "overweight or obese men like yourself are more likely to be anxious" - great, thanks!! I lost 200lbs from an eating disorder eventually but guess what stuck around...anxiety lol

i hope not commenting on people's bodies become normalized one day. It's so uncomfortable for people who haven't seen u in a while say how much you've gained or lost . Like none of ur business ???

I've been in great shape and very fat, up and down, numerous times throughout my life, and when I'm in good shape and make friends, I find that few of them are there when I'm fat again. (The ones who remain are the people who were good people all along.) So, when thin, I try to figure out who would have been nice to me were I to be fat (by, for example, keeping in mind their broader values, looking at how they treat others from whom they can't benefit in any way, etc.), and each time I've gotten fat again, I've learned that I was wrong - they either lose interest in hanging out with me, start just using me for favors, or are actively unkind. I still haven't figured out how to tell who is nice to fat and ugly people, unless I meet them and see that they're genuinely nice to me while I'm fat. (There's only been one time when I made a friend when I was fat, who then stopped being friends with me when I became slim (which I later realized was because of jealousy). But mostly, those very rare friends whom I make when fat - though there are hardly any of them - stick around no matter what my weight becomes.)

When my GP was preparing my referal for my autism diagnosis, I had to have an appointment with the mental health nurse cause that's the standard practice here I guess. This woman had the AUDACITY to suggest to me that my ASD symptoms might be due to 'the way I was eating'... ??? I'm a fat person and I always expect medical fatphobia but this just came out of nowhere. "Luckily" I was doing so badly that they referred me for assessment anyway 😅 but gosh, it's just the worst. I'm now coming to understand that my fatness is closely linked with being autistic - food as stimming, difficulties with eating routinely, executive dysfunction and and food as a coping mechanism for lots of overwhelm and stress.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you to find a new home that suits you 🤞

I’m a 320 pound vegetarian. I can only imagine how much heavier I’d be if I didn’t become a vegetarian in high school. Exercise seems to be the Thing that helps my weight/metabolism the most. But I just can’t be bothered to exercise the amount I would need to to make a difference. I’m not training to be an Olympian, I have other things to do.

Hmm, going vegan... I'm not sure I could do that, but I have to admit I haven't tried. Ya, being fat and autistic is kind of a lethal combo when it comes to being taken seriously. Having two physically noticeable traits that trigger subconscious (or conscious) bias has extended the time it took to get necessary medical procedures, made it very difficult to form friendships, and even held up my getting an autism diagnosis. I'm going to ask my doctor about those new appetite suppressant meds that just got approved here in Canada, cause I'm just sick of this whole thing. Losing weight is a full time job, and as an autist I'm barely managing to show up to work as it is. Thanks for the video.

I went vegan right before covid and stayed overweight, what got me to focus on weight loss (40kg over this last year) was moving away from my home country to one I actually like and want to socialize in. Just within this last year I've noticed - while living in a culture I'm not used to at all (plus being autistic) - how much friendlier people became after I lost weight... In hindsight it also feels like people kept themselves much more physically distant when I was overweight, which maybe relates to feeling 'othered' as an overweight person and therefore feeling awkward (which is honestly too much to mask/compensate for while also being autistic). There's plenty of overweight people who don't feel/act awkward, but it seems like you need 10x more charisma as an overweight person if you wanna be attractive to socialize with.

I am overweight (again) and most of my life I was meaner to me than anyone else. I'm about 97kg at 1,66cm (haven't weighed myself in probably a year) and people just ignore me. I obviously don't know if they notice me and what they say behind my back, but I'm just invisible. Which is great for me, but not cool if you're trying to make friends or find a romantic partner. However, my (female) doctor has been one of those doctors. Weight is all we talk about. Wether it's weight loss or now weight gain. I purposefully lost a lot of weight in 2020-2021 and it was all we talked about during that time. I have had issues with my connective tissue for many year, bad knee, lose skin, wobbly and painful joints, gut issues and suddenly it's all just the weight. Sure, I guess my wrist hurt and have instability because I'm fat. All pain and other issues are, apparently, due to my weight. Even though there were there when I was much thinner, physically active and eating much better than I do now. It really sucks.

As an honorable person, I've never made fun of nor tormented people about their physical form

Thank you for bringing this to light on the interwebs. The medical negligence and insensitivity to the health of people who are overweight and obese is appalling - from personal experience I agree that my autism diagnosis would have happened as a child if I'd been skinny and less freaky then. P.S. love your T-shirt!

I've been fat my whole life, also bullied at school for being fat + weird. At times in my life when I've been less fat (thanks obsessive exercise and disordered eating! /sarcastic), I noticed a difference in how people treated me and it made me very uncomfortable. Going vegan 16 years ago did nothing to change my weight (was already vegetarian for 14 years before that), but that's ok. That's not why I went vegan. I've had lipedema since I was a teenager (still not officially diagnosed) and hypothyroidism for over a decade now, so I've definitely given up on the idea of ever having a societally approved of body. Frankly, what other people think about how I look is none of my business, and I don't care anymore.

That one know the work rules meme just gets more funny/fucked up every time I see it

I was a slightly chunky, but healthy kid until I hit puberty. It took 4 years before I could finally convince a doctor to run some tests and get me diagnosed with PCOS. I already had trouble making doctors listen to me before I gained weight, but the second I became fat too, it felt like they were talking to the wall behind me. When I was a kid, they at least tried to understand what I was saying before giving up and talking to my mom. The second I became fat? Its like they couldn't hear a word I was saying. My early childhood pediatrician actually told my parents that I was faking my chronic sensory pain and autistic traits for attention. I was never assessed for autism. My doctor just confidently told my parents that I must've seen a disabled person at school and was mimicking them for attention. 20 years later and my parents would still rather believe I've been mimicking disabled people for attention since I was in preschool than accept that maybe their child is actually disabled. Even after recieving a PCOS diagnosis, my fatness was treated similarly. They all think I'm addicted to the sugar rush from eating junk food and bask in the motivation and comfort I recieve from others for my body, which has literally never happened? Like, surprise! I basically felt like garbage every day of my life for 20 years! The only attention I've ever recieved for being fat and autistic has been negative and sometimes even violent. I was treated like a disgusting, defective freak all my life. And now that I've lost some weight and learned how to mask, I don't know how I'm supposed to trust the people who are kind to me now. Where were they when I was fat, ugly, and visibly autistic?

I feel like a lot of people associate a person's worth to how physically attractive they find them. I feel like that's the root of a lot of fatphobia, ableism, homophobia etc. "If I don't want to f#ck you, then why do you even exist?" I hope one day society can get beyond this mindset and see bodies simply as bodies and all humans as equally worthy of existing.

Another brilliant Dana video 😆🙏🏻 I'm always excited to see that a new Dana video just posted 😁 Wishing you all the very best with moving house!! 😊

Thank you for this content. It makes a lot of sense. And..... I LOVE that T-Shirt!

That's a lot of weight to lose. I'm glad you found a way that works for you. So far, the only thing that works for me is to have so little money that I can't afford to get enough food for a normal person. Sort of related to the video -- I found that I eat less ice cream when I make my own.

I am despairing over my recent weight gain. I have tried to lower my caloric intake, and when I did, I lost about a pound a week, but I was SO hungry all the time. Also, to lose weight, apparently one has to COOK their own food? I totally hate cooking… and my current safe foods are crisps and pre-made ice cream cones from the dessert aisle at the grocery store. 😓

i must t h a n k her for shining light on this bigotry never had i thought being overweight was so pathologized ! i hope Dana mentions this video in one or two future videos to increase awareness of this