Compassion Fatigue: What is it and do you have it? | Juliette Watt | TEDxFargo

"Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option". If I had taken that piece of advice sooner, my life would certainly have taken another course.

This hit home so deeply. I suffer greatly because I take care of everyone EXCEPT myself. Sometimes out of love. But sadly sometimes out of duty and guilt. It’s debilitating.

I'm so glad I found this talk. I cried because I finally feel validated for experiencing these emotions. I'm writing an essay on Compassion Fatigue and I definitely will be using this as a source!

I needed to hear this. My mother’s health is failing and I have been going through this with her for years now. At 40 years old, outgoing raised my children and single I found myself becoming her caregiver. God bless those who are caring for others. Don’t become weary in well doing

"Helping shouldn't hurt"

I was raised with the demand to feel sorry for and emotionally pay attention to or take care of parents who (I was repeatedly told) had traumatic childhoods, and had to subjugate my feelings to their demands with no love in return. Love was sacrificing myself for them, especially my mother. It took a great deal more trauma and excellent therapy for me to understand that I was deeply terrified of my ‘sweet helpless’ toxic mother because she could deeply wound me and frequently did, often in a frighteningly deliberate innocuous way. Thank you for this. I now recognise that I have C-PTSD and my compassion cup is empty and I am finally doing something about it! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I was caregiver for a client (I’m a stylist). She asked me to be her POA because she was developing what turned out to be dementia. She was estranged from her son by her own choice and had no one else. I lost myself for a year because she needed every kind of care but fought it every step of the way while battling paranoia, hallucinations, inability to determine if she was awake or dreaming. My mantra before this had been “Without me I’m nothing”. A reminder to take care of myself so I could continue to serve others. I lost that mantra without realizing. This Ted Talk spoke to me so loudly. Thank you!!!!

Thank you so very much. I am currently taking care of my 85 year old bitter mother and she is so ungrateful. I moved from California to Kansas to help her after she asked me to now I'm here and she's telling me dhe. Doesn't know why I came here. I have done everything I can to help her without taking het POWER away.

This hits home. I work in a major insurance company. And It breaks my heart seeing people have to pay these large medical Bill's, and I'm basically the person that they call to fix their issues. After a while it takes a toll, especially when I speak to old people who are retired a dont have anyone. I feel emotionally drained.

I'm watching this with tears streaming , because I don't know how to change the learnt behaviour of the last 48 years of caring for others because I have been ' the most insignificant person in my life' and everyone else's needs are more important than mine. How do I learn to care about me?😔

My therapist asked me who the most important person was in my life. I said myself!!! Thank you for validating me!!

This is so validating. Lately I'm so angry at everything. I resent my patients for being sick, I get upset when someone talks to me, I feel like I'm fighting with every person in the grocery store in my head. I feel sad often, I know I'm behaving coldly, emotionless. I'm short tempered with my partner. I argue with patients. And I keep asking myself "why am I being this way?" I feel so guilty for being so cold towards people. I feel worthless, not good enough. At work, I find quiet spots away from other staff and keep to myself. And at the same time, I crave connection. I've lost interest in most things. I feel irritated when my partner wants to connect then guilty for not connecting. I couldn't understand what was wrong with me. I cried when she asked about the feelings because they're spot on. I've been crying on and off by myself and not even knowing why. I haven't been bringing joy to anyone's life lately. I wake up mad on my workdays and I've been hiding this because I feel so guilty about it. I'm a caregiver who stopped caring and it's hurting me and others.

This describes me exactly! I’ve been my elderly moms primary caregiver due to Alzheimer’s for 5+ years without a single day off and am disabled myself. Prior to disability retirement 15 years ago, worked two jobs, have always been there for my kids and grandkids and have never been so physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted in my life. I don’t even know who I am anymore. This is me😢 My doctor said it’s severe caregiver burnout and prescribed antidepressants. I said I’m not self medicating when I have three siblings out living their lives and refusing to help, I just need time to breathe, to pray, to do something I enjoy, to live life too. I wish I could refill my cup and am desperately trying…thank you for your words of wisdom and for truly understanding

YES! Working remotely with hard deadlines, virtually schooling three children, and having to do a lot of the heavy lifting because my wife has severe ADHD and can't help me as much as I need. So glad to know this isn't all in my mind.

I'm 57 , I care for my 92 year old narcissistic mother , I don't live with her, ( thank god) I live with my X and teenage daughter who has cf, I have type 2 diabetes , I get down in the dumps sometimes, but try to stay active , I take time out for myself, I'm in a walking /social group which has literally saved my life

I have been unknowingly dealing with compassion fatigue for 2 or 3 years now and if it wasn't for a school application that I'm doing research for, I probably wouldn't have ever known what was wrong with me. And I just want to say THANK YOU for talking about this, it brought me to tears and I am so thank full. Please know that this means a lot to me and I hope you, and anyone reading this that also has it, refills your cup and is able to feel compassion again. <3

Most of us in quarantine experiencing this.

I’ve been working in Social Services for the last 15 years in the welfare system. I’ve been a family benefits caseworker for the last 8. I take on the problems the families on my caseload because they turn to me to help them resolve their self-created life problems. It’s heavy as I have no where to turn to with my own problems. Yesterday, I had anxiety rise up and had to leave midday—I just didn’t have it. Now, I realize that I have a fatigue of my compassion and empathy. I was definitely meant to see this Tedx Talk.

I live with someone with depression and I totally understand what she's saying, sometimes you feel guilty for feeling like that, but at the same time your so burnt out

Started crying so hard during this. This is amazing. Thank you guys so much for this talk. I definitely am going to use this.