Aging Narcissist | Do narcissists change as they grow older? | Can they still cause harm?
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Published 2019-09-25
Narcissism:
There are two types of narcissism: With grandiose narcissism we see characteristics like being extroverted, socially bold, self-confident, having a superficial charm, being resistant to criticism, and being callous and unemotional. Vulnerable narcissism is characterized by shame, anger, aggression, hypersensitivity, a tendency to be introverted, defensive, avoidant, anxious, depressed, socially awkward, and shy.
Narcissistic personality disorder:
This is a disorder listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). The definition for this disorder contains nine symptom criteria, five of which are required for diagnosis.
1. A grandiose sense of self-importance
2. preoccupation with exaggerated fantasies of success, power, and beauty
3. believing oneself to be special or unique
4. requiring excessive admiration
5. having a sense of entitlement
6. manipulating others interpersonally
7. lacking empathy
8. being envious of others
9. being arrogant, pretentious, or supercilious
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All Comments (21)
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It definitely gets worse. The only times they are nice is when they fake being nice to get what they want.
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in 3 words:" it gets worse"
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If you feel more guilt or compassion for the aging narcissist, STOP! Give that compassion to yourself instead. You deserve it most! đź’–
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I rarely disagree with your take. This time I do. Narcissist become much worse as they age. The skills and charm and beauty is gone. What is left is an empty, needy vessel full of rage and bitterness at the betrayal of their body and the betrayal in the mirror. They are horrible, dreadful to deal with and seem to desire getting their last shot in before they leave this world. Awful!
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I took care of my 89 yrs old mom and because I am the only child, I felt it is my duty to take care of her cause no one else will help. It was so toxic that I was getting sick physically as well as my soul. I normalized the abuse because I lived with it all my life. I always believed that I can heal their wounds by loving them unconditionally. In turn I hurt myself. Thank you for your information. I am finally waking up that these people have evil streaks in them and will not change.
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They change their ways. Their methods get more subtle and passive aggressive.
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Maybe as the narc gets older they have burnt too many people and bridges and nobody is around for them to be abusive to.
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I feel that ageing narcissists can’t hold their mask up for long periods and start to blurt out their intentions without realizing it. They expose themselves pretty quickly.
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They get worse. They can play the “poor little meek old person” role and get what they want. Scary.
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I think they get worst (angrier, more rages, etc) as they grow older
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From my observation, as they age, they say things that make you believe they are different but when you pay attention, they just hide their secrets better. They may slow down a little because of ageing, but you see through the cracks if you pay attention. The patterns are always there.
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According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, narcissists never change who they are.
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I have see an increase in manipulative behavior as the narcissist ages. When they can no longer use their looks and charm to manipulate people they can become more controlling, argumentative, bossy and falsely caring.
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I have had 3 Narc's in my lifetime. My older sister, my father and an X spouse. I can assure you they don't get better and more often get a lot worse with age. Best thing I have ever done is to go NO CONTACT about 20 years ago. If you have a middle aged Narc in your life, don't take any chances and get out while your still able.
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They absolutely become more entrenched, and they get worse. They’ll be like this until they draw their last breath.
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My dad has always been a grandiose narcissist and at age 77 he"s as narcissistic as ever,and he can still talk about anything as long as its about him
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My experience is that they get worse. Especially when their partner (supply) dies and the rest of the family refuses to fill that role (supply).
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I respect Dr Grande but my life experience with a few aging grandiose narcs proves otherwise. Narcs don't change. Be aware.
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Usually, when the narcissist gets older the physical, mental, and resources to influence their actions diminished greatly. But this lack of interaction is replaced by loneliness, winning, blame, and projected guilt or assigning shame to others because of what is happening to them. As they grow older the rage increases and, unfortunately, nobody wants to deal with them because they have left behind a pathway of destruction.
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Continued damage? Yes. Narcissistic parents installed the buttons, so they know exactly how to push them.
