My 3 EASY TRICKS To Make First Dates Less AWKWARD | Matthew Hussey
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Published 2014-01-02
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First dates are primed to be awkward.
We're going out with someone we've met for only 5 or 10 minutes usually, perhaps not at all, and so first dates have the potential to be extremely awkward if you don't set yourself up in the right way.
Here are 3 quick tips to make the whole process smoother and less awkward...
1) Touch early and often
A mistake people often make is that as they don't know someone well, and because they don't want to seem too keen, they don't get at all tactile.
The problem with this in the first part of a date is that the longer you leave it before introducing touch, the more awkward touch becomes.
For a guy, the most pain-staking, horrible scenario is the time when you've barely touched the woman you're with throughout the entire date, and at the end you want to kiss her. This makes the move of only a few centimetres feel like a mountain to climb.
Touch allows for a smoother transition through each stage.
As a woman you have the power to set the tone for this by giving him a hug or a kiss on the cheek when you first see him. This isn't desperate; it just conveys that you're someone who's warm.
2) Don't sit opposite each other
Sitting opposite one another immediately creates awkwardness. Reason being, when there's a silence, there's nowhere to turn (but facing each other).
If you're sitting adjacent to or next to someone, you can watch the world together.
Now, when there's a silence, it's not awkward, it's just a silence while you're both looking out to whatever's in front of you. When you're ready to restart the conversation, you can turn to your side and carry on.
3) Do something externally focused
I'm going to say this bluntly: The worse you are at conversation, the more external focus you need.
If you're an amazing conversationalist, you can take someone to the corner of a quiet bar and talk all night, creating an amazing connection.
If you're someone who's a little nervous, and you know that it takes a while for you to warm up, you have to do something where there's external activity. Examples could be a museum or a comedy show, or on a more subtle level it could be something as simple as taking a walk together.
Even if you were sitting on a busy park bench people-watching, this allows you to comment on things outside of yourselves, as opposed to having the sole focus on the two of you and the conversation you're having.
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All Comments (21)
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hands in the bucket if u have watched this before a first date hahaha
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Don't have a date tonight, tomorrow or maybe even next month, just watching these dating videos just in case.
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1. Touch early and often (the longer you wait the more awkward it gets) (being warm is not being desperate) 2. Don’t sit opposite each other (it immediately gets awkward) park bench style allows you to people watch or not be forced to look at each other during silent moments. 3.do something that involves actual external focus, especially if you aren’t a conversation expert)
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These are really great tips for people with social anxiety.
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proof that confidence can make any shirt look good
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I have been binge watching date vids my first date is in an hour! Wish me luck
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I'm going on a zoom date do to quarantine and the first tip is "TOUCH EARLY AND OFTEN"
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This was actually so sweet. He’s not a skeevy pick up artist or trying to take advantage of anxious/ socially awkward people. He’s just trying to help and giving real practical tips it’s so refreshing and comforting to see well intentioned and logical people like this
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''don't sit opposite each other'' AMEN! finally someone said that, thank you. I find it so awkward
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About a month ago I went out on a date with a man that I knew was shy. We went to a nice restaurant that was quiet and we sat directly across from one another. Typically I am not a quiet person but I was feeding off of him. We sat there miserable for less then 1 hour and then I went home. After listening to this I called him back up and asked him if he wanted to go for a motorcycle ride. I was shocked that he said yes. But it was perfect. I sat behind him and talked into his ear and got to rub his back and make that first physical connection to let him know I was interested and he was able to get comfortable enough talking to me without having to stare straight at me. This was brilliant! By the time we got back from our road trip and were face to face again we had 3 hours of conversation and 3 hours of things we could look back on and talk about. "Wow wasn't that waterfall amazing it reminded me of this one time..." Great advice, keep it coming. ;)
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Dude im going on a date in 2 hours i feel like im going to war 😂😂😂😂
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Me: "Hey, how are you? How was your day?" Them: "Not bad, How was yours?" Me: " Pretty good, I spent half the morning watching documentaries and coming up with new recipes for my job's menu." Them: "Oh, that sounds fun." Me: "So what do you like to do in your down time? Do you have any hobbies or interests?" Them: " I just chilled and hung out." Me: "Um... Well that sounds fun... What do you like to do when you chill?" Them: "I like to hang out." Me: "Oh that sounds fun. I like to cook and travel. I'd like to go to Spain sometime. Have you traveled much?" Them: "No not really." Me: "um.... Okay.... What kind of music do you like?" Them: "I listen to everything." Me: "Uhhh.... Okay... I like a lot of different types of music too. I'm a huge fan of Classic rock, grunge and classical music. It helps me relax since it has some meaning behind it." Them: "Ohhh..." Me: "Okay, fuck this."
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I don't even have a date wtf am I doing here.
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I have a Date tomorrow and im so nervous. Im quite a shy person and im so scared of arkward silence Edit: holy shit I never realized that this had so many comments. So for everyone asking, that was my first date (I was 16 or 17). I think it went better than expected, there was no awkward silence. No we didn’t end up in a relationship.
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1 - Touch early and often. 2 - Don't sit opposite each other. Sit next to them. 3 - Do something that involves having external focus, particularly if you are bad at conversation. Such as a walk, hike, or just watching people on a bench.
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I've done the sit beside thing a number of times before. It actually helps immensely with the touch aspect. Reaching out across the table to touch her is rather creepy, but if you're sitting beside her it can come a lot more naturally.
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Shows up to first date, extends arms out: "Hug?.." 3 sec pause "No? okay.." :(
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just take a shot before a date !
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Maybe I am old fashioned, but I HATE kissing on the first or second date especially with someone you met online. A kiss is something pretty intimate and I feel like it says "I am interested in you in a sexual way, and I want to see you again". But with someone you have never met before, or someone you don't know that well, I feel like the first couple dates should be about getting to know that person as a human being, and seeing if you are even attracted to that person in the first place- ITS MORE THAN "oh hes hot". I had a REAALLLY bad first date the other day, where he was nice at first, and we did something super fun and adventurous, but then immediately was turned off because he constantly tried kissing and hugging me. It ruined it, ruined the first impression and now I refuse to see this person. Whereas a guy I dated 3 years, we went on many dates before we kissed, and as I began to become attracted to him, I think it made me more excited to see him and I anticipated that moment more.
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“If you initially see him and give him a hug” laughs in corona
