AITA For Telling GF to Stop Eating Everything and MORE | Comfort Level Podcast

Are we not gonna acknowledge in the first story how the friend group just let this new BF !@#$ on their friend? This guy shouldn't have that amount of say in the group to be that big an a-hole nor that critical to someone he don't know.

omg the first story--who the hell does New Guy think he is, coming in to an established friend group / dinner tradition and criticizing how they handle things? to the point of yelling & name-calling? if the friend group is cool with it, drop it my dude. what a huge red flag

Dude when someone eats all your food it is MADDENING. She sounds like she has no respect for him at all.

Second story- not the asshole. I don’t think it’s worth saying either one of them are. I can understand bringing up the weight as an example of the other person clearly having an excess of their share while the op is going hungry. I had the exact same dynamic with my sister- I was at least 15-20 pounds underweight and my sister was eating all my food and portions. It was hard not to resent her being overweight because it just was a constant reminder of her being a threat to my food. We’re both doing a lot better now and her eating habits had a deeper issue to it as did mine. I can get bringing up the weight though without trying to fat shame. It’s envy that the other person is well fed.

What is up with people not wanting to pay for what they order. Me and my friends never spilt as a group we pay for what we order. And if we buy an appetizer to share the person who order it just pays for it. Story 2: I wouldn’t mind paying for myself on a first date if we discussed it before hand.

My late husband and i agreed since he made more money than i, he'd pay for the meal and id pay for the tip. I had too many men whom i was willing to pay 50/50 with who then treated me like crap. It became a matter of respect. Once i insisted on them paying, i found someone who was worth marrying.

I ALWAYS go on a date to coffee or a drink first and try to show up early and buy my drink first before they get there and if they want to buy me a second drink that’s up to them. I love when a man pays for me but I want them to want to spoil me, not feel obligated to.

As a frugal bisexual, my stance is that if you ask someone out, you offer to pay. And therefore suggest something in your price range — if they aren’t ok with it, it’s best they see themselves out because it’s not going to work. Even if I was asked out, I always offered to split or go Dutch — and if I got to the coffee shop first, I paid for my drink anyway lol — because I don’t like the pressure associated with having someone pay for me.

For the second story, mental illness isn't an excuse to be absolutely terrible to your loved ones. It explains your behavior, but it's never okay. And he has no moral obligation to stay in such a terrible situation, unless he actually promised her he would stay with her through this or something.

Something that people don’t think of when thinking of who should pay on the first date is that the men are expected to pay because women are expected to look good and that isn’t cheap-hair,makeup,clothes, beauty treatments etc. and women traditionally didn’t have access to capital in the way men do (still this but it’s changing). I personally think that whoever asks for the date should expect to pay especially if they pick the place. If you can’t afford to pay for the date you can’t afford to ask someone out-luckily women are making money now and also starting to ask men on dates so things are changing

30lbs in only 6 months is insane. She has some issues. She needs to start working and get some therapy.

Eating someone else's food is a deal breaker for ME!!! She isn't trying to help herself!!! He's STRUGGLING and needs to cut his losses!!! #ProtectYourEnergy #ProtectYourPeace #SelfPreservation

2nd story - At some point you have to control your actions and emotions, even when it's terribly hard. Seeing the stress and pain you are causing your loved one should be enough restraint to not touch food. Especially when it has been explicitly told to you to not to. It's gross, selfish behavior. It could also be a combo of an ED and depression. I don't know, there's just a lack of respect for themselves and their partner.

I agree if you asked them out, be prepared to pay. If you ask someone out and do not want to pay the entire bill, that should be made clear up front. I would stop buying food for the house honestly. She should understand that her issues hurt him.

For the dating discussion I've always had the thought of if you ask me, you pay but if I ask you, I pay, otherwise it's 50/50.

Taking a moment to drop a comment because I just wanted to say, how refreshing and amazing this podcast is. I'm so happy to have found this corner of the internet. Loved the vibes of this episode. Tackled some really difficult questions and navigated them with care and finesse. Madi and Sam, thank you for your deep and honest perspectives.

first ones NTA, dietary restrictions are no joke and if youre friends are perfectly fine with the arrangement then the new guy should just go with the flow since its less money he has to help pay, and as for men or women paying for the first date, if you picked the restaurant, you pay the bill second ones also NTA, sounds like its been a growing problem over the 6 months of her unemployment and op getting upset shes not respecting the boundaries of any standard shared house situation is very reasonable, her trying to deflect him by saying hes fatshaming is just her trying to get out of responsibility, definitely sounds like she needs help but op is literally starving because she doesnt respect his right to the food he buys

You should take care of yourself first always unless you have a dependent that is unable to take care of themself (like pet, child, etc). That women in 14:13 has had a job before and is perfectly capable of taking care of herself even if she needs a little help. She’s a full grown women with a disorder. I wonder if she was even looking for a job. If he broke up with her I would not blame him. She clearly needs help and if she’s not actively trying to help herself then he need to help himself. Someone should not use their mental health as an excuse to hurt others whether directly or indirectly. As someone with a mental health disorder, people leaving is more eye opening than anything.

my boyfriend pays for us both when he can. if he can’t we split it.

Title Story: I think mentioning she gained thirty pounds is completely relevant. It shows that its not just that there's not enough food in the house for two people, she's gaining large amounts of weight while he has to skip meals half the week. Also, "She's stressed from being unemployed". I'm sure he's more stressed from carrying your lazy ass while he has to starve. She's a bum. OP needs to ditch her.