A Christmas Catastrophe | Comfort Level Podcast

... didn't the MIL bring it up at Christmas? That's on her. She wanted to embarrass the DIL but she flipped the script on her. That's on her.

Roomba story--buy the Roomba to help her out and give it to her on a regular day, not as an Xmas gift. Give a different gift for Christmas.

They called cps because he was teaching his kid to brush her own hair? And then expected him to let them have his daughter at their house? Without him? That sounds like a trap. "See? He just dropped her off. He's neglecting her on CHRISTMAS!"

1st AITA: The MIL doesn't respect her son or DILs boundaries nor their sense of safety & security in their safe space, their home. She was given multiple times to prove she could be trusted and she repeatedly overstepped and ignored their clear and reasonable boundaries. The son needs to respect his wife's need for security over his mothers bizzare desire to snoop through their home and belongings. 2nd AITA: OPs gift was inconsiderate. Buying his wife a household tool as her only Christmas gift is lazy and unkind. It's a god damn vacuum cleaner that will benefit the whole family, it's not a gift for her. Unless a woman specifically states they want a household tool for a gift don't do it. At best he's a shitty gift giver, at worst he's a sexist asshole who doesn't consider his wife a person capable of having interests, passions, and desires.

In some adoptions changing the birth name is normal for the new adoptive parents, the OP's story reminded me of that fact the aunt is acting like she's preparing to take full custody. Inserting herself into the childs life, changing the room, calling her by a different name and now a CPS call to bring into question the OP's guardianship. I dont know😟 it gave me 🚩🚩🚩 as if she's laying the groundwork to take her better to stay away since the OP's parents have already turned into her flying monkeys. Also if there's no contact between her and the child then it gets harder to argue said child would be better off with the aunt.

Unless you know the person and you know they like it or have specifically asked for it you should not get them an appliance. A roomba is a house tool, it's like getting a better washing machine then claiming it's special for her. He benefits from the house being clean as well, she does it for her family. It's not just for her.

you can give her the roomba but more like hey i got us a roomba type of way and not on a gift giving day like christmas/birthday/valentines day

Roomba story: some people love practical gifts, while others do not. If they have been together long enough to have kids, he should know which category she falls into. I think her saying she didn’t want anything though absolves him from most of the fault (at least in this story). He might be an A hole or he might just be clueless. We don’t have enough details in this story to really know. My ex-husband for about 5 years in a row didn’t get me any gifts for any holidays. I told him I knew that money was tight and that he didn’t have to. He brought it up in couples counseling years later as an example of me saying something but meaning another, like a silly woman who just expected him to read my mind. What really happened was on my birthday I woke up…5:45am as usual when our toddler and baby would wake up. I thought maybe he would let me sleep in on my birthday but it didn’t happen. He got up around 10:30am or 11. Starts playing video games while I take care of the house and kids all day as usual. Dinner comes around and I thought maybe he’d relieve the burden and cook dinner for once. No, me again trying to cook with a baby that won’t stop crying on my hip and a toddler asking for my attention. After dinner I thought maybe my gift would be him doing the cleanup for me, but again, no. I started to think maybe he forgot it was my birthday? Bedtime for the kids and no help getting them to sleep, as usual. Finally, when he came to bed he said “I am sorry that we didn’t have money to do anything on your birthday.” I was so sad/upset. I didn’t care about the gifts! I just wanted some kind of thought, care, or recognition. Seriously we could have done a birthday board game—anything!

The MIL has no boundaries or respect for her son’s or daughter in law’s privacy at all even after walking in on them by showing up unannounced twice when the key is for emergencies. I feel like she had to be an asshole by giving her a fake key because the MIL did exactly what she thought she would do show up when she knows they weren’t home. What was she doing there when they weren’t even home? MIL is weird and childish for throwing a full tantrum when she tried to expose her in front of the family about the fake key but got herself embarrassed. The husband is also the asshole because he seems like he doesn’t care about his mother breaking his boundaries or trying to expose his wife or even trying to talk to his mom about respecting their privacy and not keeping her promises. He’s also not even thinking about how his wife might be feeling and the fact that she gave his mom a fake key should’ve ended up being something they needed to have a serious talk about why she felt the need to do it and not yell and lecture her about being wrong and apologizing like she’s his child. The husband and her need to have a sit down with each other to figure out how to talk to MIL about boundaries and also never getting her a key again because she obviously does not respect their need for privacy.

The rooms gift is not a gift, I bet she bought him something that he actually wanted not related to his job, yet all he got her was something for her job, a household appliance basically

Homeschooling isn't quite what it was when we were kids. Most people who do homes will let you know are part of a home school co-op. They have to do their classes online with a teacher in many cases or follow a provided program. Oftentimes they also get together just doing things solo.

Yo hes trippin saying they shouldve given the mom a chance and saying they shouldve just taken her key after she went in once cuz op said the lady went when they werent there they wouldve never known she went in there

Getting your housewife a vacuum for Christmas is obviously terrible idk what the men are thinking

I mean about the mom with no boundaries coming into the couple's house. Yes you were the AH but sometimes you have to be when people are. Husband and MIL were both being unreasonable. OP obviously already felt like she couldn't communicate with husband and his family and be respected.

Brandon hugging the ponies the whole episode was so wholesome

Asking the grieving husband and recently appointed single dad to be the “bigger person” in this scenario makes me sooooo mad. The sister needs to grow up and stop making his life harder than it already is and the family needs to accept that she fucked up and stop trying to make it seem like he should just get over it like its no big deal.

the roomba story reminded me of a couple in the church I used to go to: she gave him a play station and he gave her kitchen supplies, and considering she's the only one that cooked in the house, she gave him something he would enjoy, and he gave her something he would enjoy.

43:32 - He takes care of the financial burden that keep the household from getting seized. And she takes care of children and household duties to keep the kids from getting seized by CPS. That's 50/50, they both take care of each other and the family in different ways. She ain't doing it all, He ain't doing it all. They both are doing it together in a way that works effectively. On the note of the gift, a roomba serves only one purpose and can be a crappy gift if it isn't something that recipient desires. Especially a stay at home mom, like why would she wants more cleaning tools... when they are already cleaning 90% of the time with tools that work fine. The gift has gotta be an escape from the daily norm or something that takes their mind to a place of joy and thoughtfulness. So a ticket for spa day like the podcaster said or those new heels or shoes she doesn't stop talking about would be great. One of those charms from K jewelry, one of those custom collage portraits of yall memories, to be honest idk what she want... But it can be anything but A DAMN ROOMBA. 😂

Late but Roomba gift is not a good Christmas gift. Its not personal to her specifically, but their home. Roomba is something the house needed not necessarily her. Even if the roomba saved her time, she still has 100 other things to do. Like he shaved off maybe 30 minutes of her day?? Christmas and Birthday gifts should reflect something someone really wanted, aligns with their personality or taste?

I bet that woman from the roomba story just wanted for one day to feel like she wasn’t just a cleaner and caretaker to him. I like where his head was at for the roomba, but that truly should be a gift for the whole family.